MANCHESTER // It was both predictable and funny. At half-time, when Manchester United's Premier League campaign had encompassed 225 minutes of football with a solitary goal scored by one of their players (albeit plus one kindly but ineptly donated by Tottenham's Kyle Walker on the opening day), a spoof Twitter account proclaimed that Louis van Gaal had made a substitution. Pedro was on for Neymar.
He wasn’t, of course. The Brazilian was reportedly an audacious target for Van Gaal. The Spaniard ended up at Chelsea in circumstances that, while Manchester United argue Van Gaal decided not to sign him, have brought them criticism nonetheless. Another near-miss and another sense of ambitions being frustrated has given the impression that United lack stardust. This was not an occasion to alter such perceptions.
That may be unfair, given their front four consisted of two Champions League winners – Rooney with United in 2008 and Juan Mata as a Chelsea player four years later – and two of the most gifted attackers of an emerging generation, in Adnan Januzaj and Memphis Depay. In three cases, the issue is less one of who they are than of who they are not. In Rooney’s, the problem is that he is not what he was. He has the status of a superstar but has not consistently produced the performances of one since 2009/10.
Van Gaal’s United find themselves shorn of a “Galactico” and short of goals alike. When referee Craig Pawson signalled the end of a stalemate, albeit one that initially seemed to have refreshing properties, their league campaign had still only included two goals: both at the right end, none at the wrong. A club with a rich tradition of entertainment are made to look misers.
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Football can be illogical and United were not as ponderous or as laboured as they had been in the back-to-back victories over Tottenham and Aston Villa. They hit the post, through Chris Smalling in the final minute, and the substitute Javier Hernandez drew a fine block from Tim Krul, one of eight saves the Dutchman made, but encountered an in-form goalkeeper and obdurate, well-organised opponents.
That can happen. It was nevertheless a case of unfortunate timing for Van Gaal. His side offered too little evidence why they do not need Pedro and too few reasons for a player of Neymar’s calibre to consider swapping the Camp Nou for Old Trafford.
He belongs among the world’s finest. United’s attack-minded players are, at best, in the next tier down. Depay has the potential to climb a level and represented their most inventive attacker, even if his decision-making was faulty at times.
Rooney once belonged in the elite bracket. Increasingly, it seems like wishful thinking that he will return. He reclaimed the mantle of United’s first-choice striker last season, but partly because Radamel Falcao and Robin van Persie declined at a faster rate.
He endured a 10th consecutive club game without a goal, though he had one disallowed for offside. For only the second time in the league in 2015, he recorded two shots on target. Rooney looked happier when Hernandez was brought on and he could revert to the No. 10 position. His was not an abject display, but nor was it quite enough.
And perhaps the most potent striker on show was in the colours of the other United. Aleksandar Mitrovic’s first two appearances in a Newcastle shirt suggested he is an entertainer. This offered more proof of the striking prowess that persuaded them to pay £13 million (Dh75m). Cameos that contained quickfire bookings – the first after a mere 11 seconds – illustrated he may be short of temper. Yet he is high on talent and a remarkable 16-yard header, clipping the beaten Sergio Romero’s bar, almost yielded a memorable maiden goal. Mitrovic’s replacement Papiss Cisse could have won it, too, but this was a point to please one United rather more than another.
Man of the Match: Fabricio Coloccini (Newcastle United)
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