The Premier League spotlight shines so brightly that it sends some into meltdown.
The quirks, traits and shortcomings that can be camouflaged in the lower leagues, or lesser jobs, are exposed when the unsuitable are catapulted into jobs as managers in the world’s most-watched division. It can make for sadly compelling viewing.
John Carver's reign as Newcastle United manager is so excruciatingly awful it is a blend of a disaster movie and a very 21st-century tale of an over-promoted boss.
He is David Brent from The Office without the bizarre allies, Michael Scott from the US version of the show without the underlying sweetness.
Every episode contains a fresh indignity for the supporter turned manager.
Last week’s contained the row with fans who accused Carver of swearing at them and who he invited in for a cup of tea.
This week’s included the remarkable accusation that one of his players, Mike Williamson, deliberately got himself sent off in Saturday’s 3-0 defeat at Leicester City. The centre-back’s subsequent apology to teammates and supporters pointedly made no mention of Carver.
In a rare moment of self-awareness, Carver conceded Newcastle’s squad may not be playing for him any more, which has become all too apparent in a run of eight consecutive defeats.
Lifelong fan Carver cites his passion for the club, without understanding it is the most overused and meaningless word in the football lexicon. At the highest levels, passion without astuteness is worthless.
His Newcastle are tactically poor and, whatever they claim, they patently are not motivated.
They are not defending properly – having conceded 25 goals in 10 games – and they are not doing the basics, having conceded twice at set pieces in the first 17 minutes at Leicester.
They are not even retaining their professionalism.
Those eight losses have included four particularly needless red cards for senior players, plus the spit that brought top scorer Papiss Cisse a seven-match ban.
They are a rudderless rabble, a disjointed, disorganised, disenchanted bunch with a floundering stand-in where they require an authoritative manager.
Hindsight was not required to predict Carver would be a calamity because his record as either caretaker or full-time managers at other clubs was undistinguished. His emotional volatility always threatened to be a hindrance.
Premier League history is littered with coaches who were elevated from the ranks and soon proved to be hideously, hopelessly out of their depth.
He joins Sammy Lee, Chris Hutchings, Terry Connor, Stuart Gray, Steve Wigley and Les Reed on an unwanted list.
The peculiar dynamics of Newcastle always rendered Carver’s job as one of the toughest.
He is not the cause of their problems, not responsible for the underfunded, short-staffed squad or the disconnect between supporters and board that has grown during Mike Ashley’s ownership, but they have mushroomed during his tenure.
United has never been such an inappropriate label, with Carver seemingly alienating another faction, whether the fans or the players, by the week and reports the dressing room is divided.
The only common denominator is that no one is accepting responsibility for a sudden decline.
When Alan Pardew left, Carver’s interim appointment was made on the complacent assumption Newcastle were safe.
He was the cheap option who is proving a false economy, with every Premier League place worth £1.2 million (Dh6.7m) in prize money and demotion potentially costing them up to £100m.
Now there are probably only two things that can save Newcastle: either their neighbours Sunderland fail to pick up another two points or they relieve Carver of his duties.
A club statement seemed to rule out the latter, meaning they are not accelerating plans to bring in Steve McClaren as manager, even after his current employers Derby’s season ended on Saturday, or looking for an alternative stopgap.
Instead, they could be sleepwalking into the second tier.
Because while they have, on paper, the easiest run-in of any of the strugglers, with home games against West Brom and West Ham and a trip to QPR, Newcastle look likely to end the season on a club record run of 11 straight losses and probably in the Championship.
This could be one of the most expensive, embarrassing and avoidable relegations of all.
Follow us on Twitter @NatSportUAE
