This year’s Super Bowl is a game in serious need of a sympathetic team.
You want someone to root for? You can take the churlish, swaggering and self-aggrandising Seahawks of Seattle or the bland, buttoned-down but ever-shady Patriots of New England.
Where are the huggable teams when you need one, like the Green Bay Packers or the Indianapolis Colts, with quarterbacks such as Aaron Rodgers and Andrew Luck whom every mother loves?
No, it’s not a happy choice for those who aren’t year-round fanatics of the Seahawks and the Patriots. There isn’t even a decent underdog to favour.
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Each team was the No 1 conference seed to begin the postseason. Seattle are the defending Super Bowl champions, perhaps a rising dynasty in the NFC.
New England have been the most successful team in the AFC ever since coach Bill Belichick and quarterback Tom Brady linked up 15 seasons ago. They have won three Super Bowls and will be in their sixth together on Sunday. Experts forecast the game will be so tight you couldn’t pump two pounds per square inch of air between the two.
Ah, yes, we can’t ignore Deflategate, the scandal involving the Patriots and the suspiciously under-inflated footballs they used during the first half of the AFC championship game against the Colts. Whether the Patriots actually tampered with the footballs, or if the flattened balls even helped, doesn’t matter.
The franchise is forever tainted by Spygate — Belichick’s practice of videotaping opponent’s sideline signals during games until being caught in 2007. His US$500,000 (Dh1.8 million) fine and the resulting forfeiture of a first-round draft pick branded him forever as a cheater. The incident has added powerful fuel to the normal antipathy that accompanies success.
If the New York Yankees are the baseball team that many fans love to hate, the Patriots have carved out a similar niche among the football crowd.
Nor does it help that Belichick is a notorious curmudgeon with the media, famous for curt, unhelpful answers to questions he doesn’t like.
As for the Seahawks, they may be newcomers to the bright lights, but they aren’t wasting any time wearing out their welcome.
Charismatic coach Pete Carroll still exudes his boyish charm, but he arrived in Seattle just as his previous team — the University of Southern California — was getting hammered with major punishments for transgressions on his watch. Half the country still regards Carroll as more slick than charismatic, more conniving than charming.
The Seahawks’ introduction to the national stage last year was cornerback Richard Sherman’s screaming, post-NFC title game rant that sent little children scurrying under their beds.
Sherman quickly managed to restyle himself as the bright and humorous Stanford alumnus that he is. But he also remains an obnoxious trash-talker on the field and a shameless self-promoter off the field.
He hasn’t won over everyone.
His teammate, running back Marshawn Lynch, is the team’s other high-profile, polarising figure.
Often fined for skipping media obligations, the surly Lynch added “obscene gesture” to his silent repertoire after scoring a touchdown in the NFC title game, taking another $20,000 hit from the league.
At the week’s first Super Bowl media event, he responded to questions with the same reply 29 times, “I’m here so I won’t get fined.”
Oddly enough, his bad-boy act has earned him some popularity across the country. Those who don’t see him as a heroic “rebel,” of course, just think he’s a jerk.
No doubt, there are respected and likeable personalities up and down both rosters.
Unfortunately, the “faces” of these franchises inspire no warmth.
Too bad someone has to win.
Seattle 24, New England 16
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
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If you go...
Fly from Dubai or Abu Dhabi to Chiang Mai in Thailand, via Bangkok, before taking a five-hour bus ride across the Laos border to Huay Xai. The land border crossing at Huay Xai is a well-trodden route, meaning entry is swift, though travellers should be aware of visa requirements for both countries.
Flights from Dubai start at Dh4,000 return with Emirates, while Etihad flights from Abu Dhabi start at Dh2,000. Local buses can be booked in Chiang Mai from around Dh50
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