It’s somehow appropriate that the world’s most famous steeplechase, the Grand National, should have been scheduled for this weekend.
It coincided with the end of the first week of political campaigning for the UK general election. There are many similarities between the two events.
The race itself is a gruelling 7.4 kilometres and requires the contestants to gallop at full pace while surmounting numerous intimidating hurdles. Jockeys jostle furiously for the best position, everyone gets spattered by the mud thrown up by their rivals, and all and sundry try to gain an unassailable early lead. It’s often a test of stamina as much as ability.
But even when you’re out in front, with the winner’s enclosure fast approaching, calamity can still occur. All it takes is a loose mount careering unexpectedly across your path, a sudden stumble, or a badly timed leap, and without warning you can find yourself flat on your back, with your competitors trampling over your stricken carcass without so much as a second glance.
For the eventual winner, of course, it’s glory and a place in the history books. For those who come second or third, however, the only realistic prospect is of another long frustrating wait until the next attempt. For those who have fallen heavily and who now lie bleeding on the grass, a set of screens and an approaching vet is their only reward.
The 2015 general election has already offered a political facsimile of the early stages of the great race. From the moment, when prime minister David Cameron drove the short distance to Buckingham Place and parliament was dissolved, leaders of the various political parties have been engaged in a frantic attempt to get to the front. That was 12 days ago and it set off five weeks of frenetic campaigning
From dawn to dusk, party leaders have been criss-crossing the country, visiting factories and building sites, sharing cups of tea with pensioners in care homes, posing for selfies and strewing sound bites like aural confetti. Gurgling babies are dandled, passers-by on the street are greeted like long-lost relatives and the merest slip by any political rival is seized upon with the venomous glee of a terrier shaking a rat.
It’s too early to tell who’s in the lead, though the race looks destined to be a photo finish. But the Labour party’s Ed Miliband is playing a blinder. He’s positioned himself cleverly on a steed called “Concerned dignity”, and by staying out of the gutter and finding his way to higher moral ground, he’s opened up an early lead of some 3 to 4 per cent according to the latest opinion polls.
Meanwhile, the champion and bookies favourite, the Conservatives’ David Cameron, on his own favourite mount, “Let me finish the job”, is proving sluggish and has shown some difficulty manoeuvring around tight corners. Of the smaller parties, the Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg is threatening to get squashed to oblivion in the middle ground on his spindly mount “Give us a chance”, while the UKIP leader and rank outsider Nigel Farage is showing signs of being unseated even before he’s gone round the circuit once. The Greens, of course, have no realistic chance of victory and are just happy to be in the race at all. Indeed, they’re less concerned with winning, and more concerned about the parlous state of the course.
But like the Grand National, the election campaign is a marathon, not a sprint. There are many twists and turns yet to be negotiated before a clear winner emerges. Indeed, it seems possible that there may be no clear winner come May 7, in which case weeks of political horse-trading will occur, as the various contenders try to come up with a workable majority for the next five years.
If so, a weary nation’s only wish will surely be that they decide quickly on which of them can truly call themselves the champ. If not, it will necessitate running the entire contest again in a few months time, although this time on far wearier legs.
And that is something even the most ardent punter wouldn’t wish on their worst enemy.
Michael Simkins is an actor and writer based in London
On Twitter: @michael_simkins
