How envy is reaching epidemic proportions in the internet age

Justin Thomas explains how envy is driving our use of social media platforms

A screen image of the instagram account Rich Kids of Tehran.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, what is the ugliest emotion of them all? Certainly, envy has to be at the top of many of our lists. Typically though, it’s the other unpleasant emotions – sadness, anger and anxiety – that get all of the psychologists’ attention.

In DSM-5, the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, envy is almost never mentioned. The one notable exception is in the context of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, in which being “often envious of others” is described as a diagnostic feature.

However, these days, envy is everywhere. Hip-hop artists, those creative social commentators of our time, are constantly banging on about “player haters” (the envious), and many of us can, indeed, testify to being “hated on” (envied), at least occasionally. Furthermore, who doesn’t experience “the feeling of wanting to have what someone else has”, which is exactly how Meriam-Webster – the dictionary – defines envy.

The rise of social media has done more than anything else to fan the flames of envy. Many of us visit sites such as Instagram and Facebook for cyber-posturing, selectively broadcasting our achievements, acquisitions and attractiveness for all to admire. It’s little surprise that many friends or followers are left feeling the occasional ugly tinge of envy. For every player hater, there are at least 10 “spectator baiters”: people who embellish, exaggerate and show off with the intention of inspiring envy.

From a religious perspective, envy is a huge issue. In the Biblical tradition, it’s one of the seven deadly sins. In the Quran (113:5), Muslims are explicitly instructed to seek refuge from both envy and the envier. Some people fear envy so much that they will actually hide their good fortune, terrified of the damage that can be wrought by an envious glance. The idea of the “evil eye” is also strongly associated with envy.

Psychologists generally explain envy with reference to social comparison theory. The basic idea is that we compare ourselves to other people, and envy is what we feel when we come up short. Envy can then go two ways. Acceptable envy, according to Dr Habimana, a psychologist at the University of Quebec, is when we lack what another person has and we strive for it, while perhaps also admiring the envied person and wishing to be like them. Herman Adler, a psychologist at the Menninger Clinic in Texas, summarises this acceptable envy as “the American way”.

Reprehensible envy, on the other hand, is far more malignant and involves wanting the envied person to somehow lose their perceived advantage. In short, we begrudge others their pretty trinkets (property) and brief moments in the sun (achievements).

Malignant envy often also involves attempts to belittle the envied person, for example, focusing on their flaws or even inventing and, worse still, broadcasting flaws they don’t have. Masters in the art of envy though, will simply convince themselves that whatever domain you are superior in doesn’t really matter. If you are better than them at mathematics, they will tell themselves that it’s language that really counts. Envy often fuels our delusions and self deceptions.

The most dangerous form of envy is what I call double blind envy. This is when a person is so envious that they become blind to any positive qualities in the envied person. Furthermore, they have absolutely no idea that it is, in fact, envy at the root of their ill will.

Thankfully, most of us are very aware of envy when it arises. Even if we don’t identify it straight away, we realise eventually and we might even come to feel a little guilty about it – excessive guilt itself can also become a problem for the habitually envious. Like all other unpleasant emotions though, envy is at its most problematic when it moves us to destructive actions.

In our increasingly competitive societies, with our unhealthy culture of online one-upmanship, far more attention should be given to envy. Mental health professionals and researchers need to invest more energy in exploring how best to help people who are experiencing problem levels of envy.

Dr Justin Thomas is an associate professor of psychology at Zayed University and author of Psychological Well-Being in the Gulf States

On Twitter: @DrJustinThomas