It isn’t flawless by any stretch. It’s difficult to see anything beyond that silly power hump on the bonnet, it’s ridiculously large in its proportions and, thanks to the addition of (probably pointless) side skirts, it rides so low that even average height speed humps can bring on panic attacks. It looks like it was designed by a committee of spotty teenagers on a sugar high from too many soft drinks, a cartoon amalgam of every muscle-car design cliché in the book. It drinks petrol like it’s going out of fashion and the slightest squeeze of the throttle when the lights go green sends the rear tyres into meltdown, making a shrill shriek that causes pedestrians to look at you with utter disdain. And that’s with all the electronic traction-control systems switched on – if they were disengaged, the car would probably end up embedded in the lobby of the nearest apartment block.
There’s no escaping it – this car marks you out as someone who’s the polar opposite of a shrinking violet. It’s loud, in your face and unapologetically politically incorrect. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is fine with me.
Now and then it’s refreshing to experience a car that really doesn’t give a stuff about anything. A throwback to times that were less informed, when fuel economy wasn’t even thought about and all that mattered was squeezing the maximum grunt from a big V8, the Charger SRT8 just wouldn’t make sense in most countries. But here, where the roads are straight and the fuel is cheap, it fits right in. Apart, that is, from the car park spaces this country has been gifted with. It definitely doesn’t fit in those.
I couldn’t ever consider owning one of these cars. My wife hates the way that it looks like “an angry hair dryer” from the front end, with its gigantic, gaping radiator grille. She can’t stand the full-width “Vegas Strip” LED rear lamp arrangement. She’s embarrassed by the way that it sounds and she thinks that I should wear a chest wig and medallion while at the wheel. She’s probably right, but there’s one thing that we actually do agree on: the cabin is quite magnificent. With beautifully trimmed seats and door cards, soft-touch plastics and practically every electronic gizmo that you can think of, it smacks of quality and that’s something I never thought that I’d say about an American car’s interior. It’s comfortable and spacious and everything about it is intuitive.
On the road, at normal speeds, the SRT8 makes for a refined and relaxed companion. It’s quiet, with little in the way of wind, tyre or engine noise. But put your foot down and that engine really makes itself heard. In an instant, it rises from a deep, bass rumble to a furious, high-pitched battle cry and the Charger does what it’s supposed to do: charge. The 637Nm of torque is almost overwhelming, meaning that other traffic is dispatched in a flash – handy when you need, as I did on my way to work, to escape from the path of a car that was drifting across two lanes as if the driver was falling asleep at the wheel (it turned out that he was texting, quelle surprise).
It’s almost too easy to pile on the speed in this car, but I can’t hold that against it. I was expecting that much, but what catches me off guard is the way that this hulk takes corners. You need to keep your inputs smooth, mind, lest that rear end performs a shimmy, but if you do, the SRT8 simply grips and goes, more flatly than you’d have thought possible from such a car. I’m still not sure I’d want to heft one around a racetrack, but on the open road it feels planted and secure, as long as you’re sensible and drive it with a healthy dollop of respect.
The chassis is just the right side of stiff, although you do have three ride modes available at the tap of a screen. But for almost any situation, the standard set-up is fine. What’s not so fine is the archaic five-speed transmission. While there’s so much twist on tap from that 6.4L mill that you don’t need constant cog swapping, the fact is that seven- or eight-speeders are the norm these days for cars like this and they do serve to slightly reduce the effect on the environment by helping to bring down consumption. Apparently the cars arriving here in the middle of next year will be so equipped.
But even now, as it stands, this car offers astonishing value for money. Performance-wise, think BMW M5; price-wise, think middling 3 Series. It’s an absolute bargain.
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