Think of a safety feature we all take for granted these days on our cars and, chances are, it first saw light of day on a Mercedes-Benz S-Class. It has a deserved reputation for being a trailblazer and the attempts of other manufacturers in trumping the big Merc at its own game are often nothing more than embarrassing, best forgotten straw clutching. And yes, the all-new S-Class has upped everyone’s game and re-established itself as the ultimate big car. How do I know this? Because anyone who’s driven it has said the same thing.
Fortunately for Audi I haven’t yet had the privilege, so its “new” A8 already has a head start. With an external and internal redesign so subtle that you’d need to be a forensic scientist to detect any differences over the outgoing model, Audi is doing its “clutching at straws” bit with earnest. Because, during the international press launch, there’s barely a mention of how it drives, how it handles or how it looks. But my word do they go on about the headlamps.
Yes, the new A8 apparently has genre-defining, trailblazing headlamps that are a world first. So let’s ignore the fact that the S-Class has similar peepers that barely differ from these magical A8 units and take a look at the technology and how it will impact on our lives.
Given the moniker MatrixBeam, these LED units are standard on all new A8s except for the SE and SE Executive models, and according to Audi, they can track up to eight vehicles and pedestrians at a time. This, we’re told, is to help keep the main beams on at all times while managing to shut off certain LEDs, masking out small areas of light to avoid dazzling other road users. And, in yet another example of driver emasculation, the car’s satellite navigation system communicates with the headlamps, setting them up before you reach the next corner or junction.
And, in a nutshell, that’s it. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never really had a problem with operating the main beam on my car without causing other road users to seek help for seared retinas. But Audi is convinced this is the next big thing and, because our initial drives are to occur during daylight hours, we’re treated to a demonstration in a darkened room, where one of these MatrixBeam lamps shines its whiteness onto a black wall. A conscripted young lady walks into the pool of light and, sure enough, everywhere is illuminated except for her torso. Clever and worthy this may be, but it’s still terminally dull.
What I’m more interested in is how the A8 performs on the road and the good news is that it’s still utterly brilliant on all fronts. It might look a tad conservative outside but its interior is still a fantastical environment where you’d struggle to find anything amiss. I can imagine, if I owned one of these autobahn cruise missiles, that every time I got inside it I would experience a few seconds of absolute smugness, knowing it had been money well spent. Audi has wisely eschewed making sweeping changes here because none are needed.
On the move there’s the same silky smooth progress we’ve become accustomed to from the Audi flagship. It grips and goes with almost supercar ease and pace, keeping its occupants entertained with a heady blend of true luxury, near silence and a turn of speed that would embarrass many a sports car.
The big seller in the UAE will be the W12 model, which utilises the familiar powertrain found in certain Bentleys but here, as with the British marque’s Continental models, biggest does not mean best. The blown V8 engine offers a more engaging experience and gives away very little to its big brother in terms of performance. So my advice would be to downsize your ambitions and go for the eight-pot. The W12 is, frankly, an irrelevance.
But a last minute decision to try out a variant that we’re unlikely ever to see on our shores – the 4.2-litre turbo diesel – turns absolutely everything on its head once again and proves that, with our national petrol obsession, we’re missing out on some of the world’s finest cars.
This model is, hands down, the pick of the bunch. With a colossal 850Nm of torque, it’s a bona fide rocket ship. In fact, it will dispatch 100kph from rest in 4.7 seconds and have you physically pinned into your seat as it keeps piling on the speed until hitting its 250kph limiter. And it sounds as epic as it goes, with a malevolent, deep bass rumble that infiltrates the cabin without any of the clattering or rattling that gave diesel engines such a bad name in the first place. It’s sensationally good and delivers an extra hit with fuel economy that’s almost double the V8’s.
Alas, we are stuck with the petrol-powered mills. They’re mightily fine cars make no mistake but, if you can be bothered importing a car yourself and seeking out the diesel pumps, go for the TDI – then you’d feel smug all of the time. Until I get behind the wheel of an S-Class, for me it’s the best luxury saloon there is.
Follow us @LifeNationalUAE
Follow us on Facebook for discussions, entertainment, reviews, wellness and news.
