Over Christmas in Santa Fe, I had a lousy and overpriced dinner at a special occasion restaurant where I’ve enjoyed great food and service in the past. But over the course of that prix-fixe dud, I wondered if the quality of a guest’s experience is predetermined by omniscient powers judging the perceived quality of the patronage based on an assortment of factors – and then delivering accordingly. Either way, it certainly makes it impossible to recommend the place in good faith.
When I shared my disappointment with a friend who’s a loyal regular, she was devastated. “You should have told me you were going. I would have called beforehand to make sure you were properly taken care of.” It was a sweet offer on her part, but I’ll never go back to the restaurant. Discrepancies of this magnitude are offensive, wildly misleading and have no business existing outside of private clubs.
You can learn a lot about how a culture operates just by passing through an airport. Shuffle through the security line at any major hub in the US and you’ll smell fake-buttered popcorn and pretzels from 30 gates away. There’s also an excellent chance that you’ll find a grown woman – or a gaggle of them – wearing flannel pyjama bottoms and carrying a pillow. For reasons that will remain mysterious to everyone else, some people view airport terminals as an extension of their bedrooms.
You’ll rarely see a woman in pyjamas at Abu Dhabi International Airport, where there’s a refreshing impersonality to the usual bleakness of transit. The restrooms are spotless and, in a stunning testament to civilisation, luggage trolleys are free. But persistent and oblivious elbow-nudging in the baggage claim areas can bring up personal space issues and my eGate card has proven to be a total waste of money, as it has never actually worked.
There are so many quirks distinct to American and Emirati life that bring about curiosity and frustration in their own weird way. Navigating random matters of social stratification continues to be the one with the steepest learning curve. When the “V” in “VIP” is preceded by a succession of more Vs, it’s usually demonstrating nothing more than an insidious rat race, a compulsion for redundancy and the Napoleonic social virus of overcompensation.
One of the many reasons I’ve never liked Yelp is that it’s a forum where anonymous posters are encouraged to voice entitled and unaccountable opinions that affect lives and livelihoods.
In November, Forbes published an article titled “Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid”. Item No 12 reads: “Feel the World Owes Them Anything.”
Issues of entitlement can get very contentious within a restaurant setting. I’ve been involved in some awkward situations and a couple of arguments about what’s appropriate to demand.
When I reviewed restaurants, I dined anonymously – albeit at my publication’s expense. One thing was always clear, though: I represented the consumer. As a paying customer, I’m looking for an honest representation of what an establishment offers, not a disingenuous and sugar-coated version that cannot reliably be repeated.
Nouf Al-Qasimi is an Emirati food analyst who cooks and writes in New Mexico