Like many first-time mothers, Hamda Al Hadrami recalls that when her daughter, Ruwaida, was born three years ago, all her expectations of motherhood went out the window. But although she craved guidance, Al Hadrami also felt that some of the lessons her mother’s generation had been taught, which her mother was trying to pass on to her, didn’t feel quite right in today’s world.
“My mother was supporting me, but we had different schools of thought,” the 28-year-old communications officer, who lives in Al Zeina, Abu Dhabi, explains. “She’s very much a follower of the old-school techniques of raising a child, which with today’s developments in science aren’t the way to go anymore. For example, she believes in giving water to a newborn baby. I know that breast milk is at least 70 per cent water, so there’s no need to give additional water.
“She also believes that babies should be showered with talcum powder. But powder is one cause of asthma, so I moved away from it because I had severe asthma as a child myself.”
Breastfeeding also proved to be more difficult than Al Hadrami had anticipated.
“One of the inhibitors of breast milk production is stress, and I was feeling stressed, because I wasn’t figuring things out,” she says. “I wanted someone to answer these questions in my head that you wouldn’t normally go to a doctor to ask.”
A few of her friends had also given birth in the last three months, so Al Hadrami decided to add them all to a WhatsApp group, which she named The Mama Bear Club. The group of six women found themselves sharing the highs and the lows of motherhood.
“We all found it extremely beneficial to bounce ideas back and forth, and to share our everyday experiences,” Al Hadrami says.
The initial group was a mix of nationalities, living in different cities including Amman, Abu Dhabi and Dubai. The mothers started recommending their friends, and the group grew.
Al Hadrami decided to cap the number of members at 20, but also realised the potential in forming a new mothers’ community. So she asked friends of friends and “random neighbours and acquaintances” to find out if it was something that was missing in Abu Dhabi.
“I asked them questions, like: ‘What are the challenges you’re going through?’ and ‘What would you like to see happening for mums?’”
She found the underlying issue was that many mothers in Abu Dhabi weren’t talking to each other.
“Every single woman I approached told me that she wanted to connect with more mothers,” she says. “There was such a lack of connection, yet the mothers really wanted to communicate with each other on a level that meant more than just chit-chat over coffee. They wanted to share the real challenges they were facing, so they could be comforted by somebody who understood what they were going through.”
Al Hadrami also noticed that although “a crazy number of services” exist for mums in Abu Dhabi, most mothers living in the city are unaware of them.
“Abu Dhabi doesn’t market these services well, or maybe the suppliers don’t have the budgets to market them,” she says.
To connect mothers with each other and make them more aware of local services for them, Al Hadrami held her first free Mama Bear Club event in October at Zayed Sports City, in partnership with the community healthy lifestyle initiative #theADMovement. The event was a success, with more than 200 kids and 100 mothers turning up, many of whom were Emirati. Al Hadrami plans to take the Mama Bear Club online, so that mothers can connect virtually as well as physically.
“I know it’s hard for some mothers to find time in their busy schedules, so there will be a chance to meet online, too,” she says. “The purpose, first and foremost, is communication.”
What do you do during your 'me time'?
Reading – not so much books about childcare. I read all different kinds of books, from politics to health and nutrition.
Do you read to your daughter?
I’ve just recently started reading to her. There’s no favourite book yet – I let her pick the books.
Where's your favourite place in Abu Dhabi to take your daughter?
Umm Al Emarat Park in Al Mushrif. I used to go to this park as a child, when it was a women and children’s park, and I’ve seen it change. I like natural environments – open spaces, fresh air, grass and sand. I feel it gives Ruwaida positive energy to be around nature.
Where's your favourite place to travel as a family?
We don’t travel very far as a family – maybe Amman or Muscat.
What's your favourite children's movie?
I love Disney movies, especially Frozen. Ruwaida loves it, too. I appreciate the fact that it's not a love story between a man and a woman, but between two sisters.
What's the toughest thing about being a mother?
Spending more time working and having fewer hours left in the day for your family. The mother guilt is never-ending. I went back to work after four months. It was so hard. I’m sure every mother feels the same. But I was lucky – four months is OK compared to the standard 45 days.
What's the best parenting tip you have received?
No matter what anyone says, a mother knows what’s best for her child. Regardless of what doctors, mothers, grandmothers, or friends say, nobody knows it better that you.
How will you celebrate National Day this weekend?
With my family on Al Maryah Island. It is about the identity and culture that I am proud to pass on to my children and children’s children for generations to come.
Where do you see the Mama Bear Club being in five years' time?
I see it being active across the whole of Abu Dhabi, connecting mothers of all different nationalities. I see it becoming the one-stop shop for everything related to mother and child. I also see it doing more for children, too.
For more information, search for "Mama Bear Club" on Instagram.
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