If you've been finding one dirham coins in short supply these days, you should blame the kids. As Abu Dhabi doctors told The National recently, they have been seeing plenty of cases of kids admitted to hospitals by harried parents for swallowing the coins during playtime.
Their message to the public was simple and stern: parents, pay more attention to what your kids are doing. Sure, that's fair, but I also believe we should take it easy on parents. Because no matter how vigilant they are, they simply can't beat the recklessness and curiosity of children.
It is these qualities, I suppose, that make parenthood such a joy and drain. I say “suppose”, because – full disclaimer – I am not actually a parent, but when recalling some of the antics I got up to as a child, I begin steeling myself for the worst for when/if I do become a dad.
Where the kids of today are swallowing dirhams, I was drinking petrol (bear with me!). I was about five years old and living in Abu Dhabi at the time. My parents decided to visit some old friends who lived in the Tourist Club Area and I remember being expressly told to sit in the living room while the adults chat with each other.
I got bored out of my mind, of course, and I decided to go for a little wander around the apartment. My curiosity took me to the storage room where I saw a water bottle filled with a bright red fluid. Immediately, I thought this was some special berry juice that was being hidden from guests, so I discreetly opened it and took a big swig.
My stomach was on fire. My mum recalls my anguished scream to this day, as well as the subsequent rush to the hospital where I had to get my stomach pumped.
She obviously vowed to keep a better eye on me after that, but, despite her best efforts, I still managed to get myself into more trouble as I grew up, like the time I nearly burnt down our kitchen at the age of 10. My parents were having their regular Friday afternoon siesta and I decided to act the chef and fix myself some fish fingers. Let's just say I was a little too liberal with the cooking oil. Now, it is me who shudders when recalling waking up my dad – a huge sin in itself, let me tell you – to announce there was a "wee" fire in the kitchen.
My list of misdeeds continued throughout my teenage years. They ranged from the comical – such as the time I bit into a microwaved boiled egg that exploded over my face and singed my growing moustache – to the more serious – like when I disobeyed my mum’s driving advice and crashed her precious Honda Integra into the side of another car. That was a long night.
I’m sure there are many other stories of mishaps I’ve forgotten (or somehow suppressed).
And yet, I’m still here. Recalling these tales has made me appreciate the love and strength it requires to be a parent.
The fact they choose to become one, knowing full well their child will surely bring them a seemingly endless run of worrisome nights, is nothing short of heroic.
I salute you all.
That said, it is always a good idea to do what the doctor says – and hide those dirhams.
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Earth under attack: Cosmic impacts throughout history
- 4.5 billion years ago: Mars-sized object smashes into the newly-formed Earth, creating debris that coalesces to form the Moon
- 66 million years ago: 10km-wide asteroid crashes into the Gulf of Mexico, wiping out over 70 per cent of living species – including the dinosaurs.
- 50,000 years ago: 50m-wide iron meteor crashes in Arizona with the violence of 10 megatonne hydrogen bomb, creating the famous 1.2km-wide Barringer Crater
- 1490: Meteor storm over Shansi Province, north-east China when large stones “fell like rain”, reportedly leading to thousands of deaths.
- 1908: 100-metre meteor from the Taurid Complex explodes near the Tunguska river in Siberia with the force of 1,000 Hiroshima-type bombs, devastating 2,000 square kilometres of forest.
- 1998: Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 breaks apart and crashes into Jupiter in series of impacts that would have annihilated life on Earth.
-2013: 10,000-tonne meteor burns up over the southern Urals region of Russia, releasing a pressure blast and flash that left over 1600 people injured.
Turkish Ladies
Various artists, Sony Music Turkey
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Cofe
Year started: 2018
Based: UAE
Employees: 80-100
Amount raised: $13m
Investors: KISP ventures, Cedar Mundi, Towell Holding International, Takamul Capital, Dividend Gate Capital, Nizar AlNusif Sons Holding, Arab Investment Company and Al Imtiaz Investment Group
Profile
Company name: Jaib
Started: January 2018
Co-founders: Fouad Jeryes and Sinan Taifour
Based: Jordan
Sector: FinTech
Total transactions: over $800,000 since January, 2018
Investors in Jaib's mother company Alpha Apps: Aramex and 500 Startups
The specs
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Transmission: ten-speed
Power: 420bhp
Torque: 624Nm
Price: Dh325,125
On sale: Now
Suggested picnic spots
Abu Dhabi
Umm Al Emarat Park
Yas Gateway Park
Delma Park
Al Bateen beach
Saadiyaat beach
The Corniche
Zayed Sports City
Dubai
Kite Beach
Zabeel Park
Al Nahda Pond Park
Mushrif Park
Safa Park
Al Mamzar Beach Park
Al Qudrah Lakes
The specs
Engine: 2.5-litre, turbocharged 5-cylinder
Transmission: seven-speed auto
Power: 400hp
Torque: 500Nm
Price: Dh300,000 (estimate)
On sale: 2022
Profile of Foodics
Founders: Ahmad AlZaini and Mosab AlOthmani
Based: Riyadh
Sector: Software
Employees: 150
Amount raised: $8m through seed and Series A - Series B raise ongoing
Funders: Raed Advanced Investment Co, Al-Riyadh Al Walid Investment Co, 500 Falcons, SWM Investment, AlShoaibah SPV, Faith Capital, Technology Investments Co, Savour Holding, Future Resources, Derayah Custody Co.
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The bio
Who inspires you?
I am in awe of the remarkable women in the Arab region, both big and small, pushing boundaries and becoming role models for generations. Emily Nasrallah was a writer, journalist, teacher and women’s rights activist
How do you relax?
Yoga relaxes me and helps me relieve tension, especially now when we’re practically chained to laptops and desks. I enjoy learning more about music and the history of famous music bands and genres.
What is favourite book?
The Perks of Being a Wallflower - I think I've read it more than 7 times
What is your favourite Arabic film?
Hala2 Lawen (Translation: Where Do We Go Now?) by Nadine Labaki
What is favourite English film?
Mamma Mia
Best piece of advice to someone looking for a career at Google?
If you’re interested in a career at Google, deep dive into the different career paths and pinpoint the space you want to join. When you know your space, you’re likely to identify the skills you need to develop.
Killing of Qassem Suleimani