In times of change, uncertainty or upheaval, sticking to an existing routine or adopting a new one can provide much-needed stability and anchor points around which to regulate your day.
With schools across the UAE continuing with distance learning, children have had to adapt to different schedules, while many parents need to juggle online classes with work commitments.
As the regional situation develops and changes, it becomes more important than ever to maintain a sense of routine, even if that comes down to simple things such as regular meal and bedtimes.
“Routine matters more when the world feels unpredictable as it’s one of the few things families can control,” says Christopher Seeley, principal at Dove Green Private School. “When the bigger picture is unclear, a consistent rhythm to the day gives children a sense of stability and reassurance. It doesn’t remove uncertainty, but brings clarity and calm for adults, and makes the day feel predictable and safe for children.”
Why are routines important?
Routines are essential for creating structure around which other non-structured or unexpected errands and occurrences can fit without becoming overwhelming. By making daily tasks predictable and automatic, routines reduce decision fatigue and free up mental energy for higher-priority tasks.
Following a routine is learnt behaviour and a process that develops over a lifetime, but it doesn't need to be limited to predictability. Adaptability is important, too.
“Routines develop through a blend of explicit teaching and implicit modelling or absorption,” says Devika Mankani, psychologist at The Hundred Wellness Centre in Dubai. “Children initially rely on external structure, such as parents setting bedtimes, meal times or study hours. Over time, through repetition, these behaviours become internalised and form what psychologists call automaticity – habits that require less cognitive effort.”
She stresses that children absorb routines by watching the adults in their lives – “how they wake, respond to stress or wind down”. Which, during uncertain times such the current regional conflict, becomes even more powerful when modelled well.
“Children are not just learning what to do, but how to feel about what is happening,” Mankani adds.
How routines can reduce stress
The predictability of routines help to lessen fear of the unknown and enhance feelings of stability by offering a sense of control. This in turn not only bolsters confidence during times of uncertainty, but also can lead to a sense of achievement as daily tasks are accomplished.
“Routines help create a sense of order in what can feel like a demanding and unpredictable day,” says Valen Valentine, clinical psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre in Dubai. “For both adults and children, they reduce the number of decisions we need to make, which can lower mental load. Psychologically, routines offer a rhythm that supports regulation; we know what to expect and that reduces stress.”
Routines are particularly important in childhood as children develop their ability to regulate emotions, manage transitions and develop time management. They provide “external structure that supports these developing skills”, says Valentine. “They help children to understand expectations, develop self-discipline, build independence and feel more in control of their environment and surroundings. Without consistent routines, children may feel overwhelmed or unsure, which can show up as irritability, resistance or emotional outbursts.”
Even simple routine markers, such as a consistent mealtime, can help reinforce the messaging that things are OK and that someone is in charge, she explains.
For Nick Hart, founding principal of Horizon English School Town Square, acknowledging the disruption of current routines is important, as is involving children in the development of new ones.
“Many of us are experiencing a reduction in control and agency at the moment,” he says. When children have structure and they know what to expect, it can “have a calming influence, particularly if they are involved in the planning”.
How to develop an effective regimen
Routines are initially learnt, then developed and adapted to suit the individual over time. Fluidity is key as a rigid approach can make us anxious if expectations are not met.
“Structure doesn’t have to be rigid, but having some consistency in key parts of the day can make a difference in emotional stability and overall well-being,” says Valentine.
Developing routine requires building upon the existing structure of your day, with experts suggesting adding one or two additional habits at a time and making them a focus before adding more. Habits such as fitting in a workout session, revising for an exam or going through work emails are easier to stick to if done at the same time each day.
Goals should also be flexible and realistic.
“I like to ask: ‘What are the three non-negotiable anchors that keep our family grounded even when everything else shifts?’” says Mankani. She stresses that rather than be rigid, routines should set out the flow of a day, with a handful of markers throughout that can provide stability without being overcontrolling.
How flexible should you be during holidays and weekends?
After a term time filled with timetables, extracurricular activities and organising playdates, holidays and weekends can feel like a good time to relax the schedule. However, going from the rigidity of a daily schedule to no routine at all can be confusing for children.
“Routine doesn’t need to disappear during the holidays, it just needs to soften,” says Seeley. “Keep a few non-negotiables such as wake-up time within a reasonable range, meals, some form of daily activity and a consistent bedtime, and allow flexibility around everything else.
“Children don’t need a packed schedule, but they do need predictability. A loose structure gives them security without making the holidays feel like school.”
Valentine adds: “I often suggest thinking in terms of rhythm rather than routine. This allows for flexibility while still providing a sense of flow to the day. Maintaining some consistency helps children feel grounded, while flexibility allows for rest and enjoyment.”
The importance of routines during home-schooling
With children at home and many parents currently working in a hybrid set-up, a fuller – and noisier – household can prove distracting for everyone trying to do their work. Creating designated areas for home-schooling, wearing all or part of the school uniform or setting alarms to signify the start of online lessons can all help develop a sense of routine.
“Some, particularly younger children, need more time than we might think to switch from home mode to school mode and vice versa,” says Hart. “Some may need physical indicators of ’school time’ such as a change of clothes or a designated distance-learning space. Some might need clear time boundaries to demarcate when it is time to work and when that time ends. It is well worth planning for this with your child to help them develop a routine.”
Seeley recommends keeping it simple and realistic. “Focus on a clear daily rhythm rather than trying to replicate a full school timetable. Set defined times for learning, breaks and being offline, aligned with the school’s distance-learning schedule, and be clear about expectations. It’s also important that children understand when parents are working and when they are available. Consistency matters more than perfection – small, repeatable structures are what make it work.”
