When it comes to social media and children, traditional rules of behaviour still hold fast. We find out how they translate.
Can simple, old-fashioned rules apply to kids using social media?
Yes, says Janine Francolini, the founder of The Flawless Foundation, a United States-based non-profit organisation that takes a stand for children with behavioural challenges. The education specialist, who headed a symposium titled Just a Click Away – How Social Media Influences Our Children’s Social Development last month in New York, says that since social media is an extension of what we already know, say and feel about ourselves, the basic rules of good behaviour still apply.
“The immediacy, pace and ‘multiplier effect’ is new, and that can be both scary and empowering,” says Francolini. “But we can find encouragement and comfort by going back to the pre-digital basics – and keeping it simple with common sense. Almost everything we need to know about helping our kids navigate and use social media productively, we all learnt ourselves in kindergarten.”
Dr Young-Shin Kim, associate professor at Yale University’s Child Study Center, who was in Abu Dhabi last month to give a talk to parents on the issue of bullying on social media, says: “For all children, and even adolescents, the only access to the internet, including social media, must have at least some degree of supervision by parents – as much as it is a burden to the parents and annoying to children.
“Adults who supervise their kids will quickly find that all social media sites are different,” says Kim.
Samantha Turner, a mum of four, says her family has rules on social-media usage.
“A traditional value we follow is: don’t text, post or answer the phone when you’re with someone unless it’s critical,” says the Abu Dhabi resident. “That said, honesty can be an excuse for nastiness on social media – ‘I was just saying what I thought’.”
Turner admits she would like guidance from schools.
“Maybe it’s time schools sent home a recommended social-media list like they do with recommended reading lists. With books, we often browse the bookshop or go back to the ones from our childhood. Social media is more intangible.”
Here are some simple rules to follow when it comes to children and social media.
Walk before you run
Go slow when introducing social media to your children. Just as you carefully selected your child’s first books, take the time to put together a resource list of tools and sites that are an appropriate fit for them developmentally.
Play nice in the sandbox
Often social media is associated with meanness. It doesn’t have to be that way. It’s possible to have social media with a soul and use it to draw families and friends closer together, even when we are geographically distant.
Look both ways before crossing
Each time your child enters into a new social-media platform, it’s critical to take the time to make sure you and they understand the dynamics and implications. So, just like crossing the street for the first time, parents need to stay close.
Take a break
When we disconnect, our connections are so much more meaningful. We adults have learnt later in life that there’s too much of a good thing when it comes to social media. Taking time to unplug is essential.
Tell the truth
Being aware and honest about your own use of, and feelings about, social media is key to having meaningful conversations and connections with your children. Honesty is the first step towards awareness, and awareness can lead to healthy choices and change.
Practise what you preach
Long before children have spoken their first words, they are watching and observing us. That’s why it is critical for parents to model healthy social-media use, for both work and personal communications. If you are feeling, or observing, smartphone and social-media addictions in yourself or your children, put yourselves on a social-media diet and say no. A few unplugged hours outside together as a family can work wonders.
artslife@thenational.ae
