In a piece of scheduling that frankly doesn’t do justice to the phrase ‘comic timing,’ a vanity film about the history of FIFA, funded to the tune of £17m (AED102M) of its £19M budget by, of course, FIFA, took just $US607 (just under AED2,400) in its opening weekend at the US box office over the weekend.
United Passions hasn't skimped on the cast. Tim Roth (Pulp Fiction) plays Sepp Blatter, who finally agreed to resign over the corruption scandal slowly destroying the organisations credibility last week. The trailer sees him uttering the immortal line: "Everything I've done up until this point has been for the good of football."
Fellow A-Lister Sam Neill (Jurassic Park) is Blatter's predecessor Joao Havelange, while French (and now Russian) legend Gerard Depardieu plays FIFA founder Jules Rimet, after whom the World Cup trophy is named.
The film tells the self-congratulatory story of how a group of mavericks set up what was to become the world’s greatest sporting organisation, with no apparent sense of irony we understand.
Depardieu was the only lead to appear at last year's Cannes premiere, while Roth told The Times at the time: "I was like, 'Where's all the corruption in the script? Where is all the back-stabbing, the deals?' So it was a tough one. I tried to slide in a sense of it, as much as I could get in there."
Among theatres screening the movie over the dismal US opening weekend, FilmBar cinema in Phoenix reported takings of just $9 (AED35), meaning only one person bought a ticket. Perhaps two if there’s a US equivalent to du Tuesdays or Orange Wednesdays. If you can keep a straight face, watch the trailer below.
cnewbould@thenational.ae
