What does a lady-in-waiting do? The rules, roles and history of the queen's closest aides

As Queen Elizabeth II’s long-serving Lady of the Bedchamber dies at age 90, we take a look at the role the ladies-in-waiting play in the royal household

Queen Elizabeth II with her ladies-in-waiting. Lady Anne Glenconner, far left, would go on to become one of the queen's longest-serving in the role. The Print Collector / Getty Images

In the same year that her husband Prince Philip died, Queen Elizabeth II also lost two of her most loyal aides.

Following the death of her former Mistress of the Robes, Ann Fortune FitzRoy, the Duchess of Grafton, on December 3, the queen’s Lady of the Bedchamber since 1987, Diana Maxwell, Lady Farnham, died aged 90 last Wednesday, after 34 years as a lady-in-waiting.

Lady Farnham became the queen’s Lady of the Bedchamber in 1987, accompanying her on many tours during her 44 years of service, for which she was appointed Commander of the Royal Victorian Order (CVO) in 1998 in recognition of her personal service.

Remembered as a “dear friend”, FitzRoy was one of only two Mistress of the Robes during the queen’s reign, and was responsible for her clothing and jewellery. The queen is also godmother to Maxwell’s second daughter.

The closest courtiers to the queen and king’s consort used to be men, and all the positions were politically motivated. It wasn’t until the Renaissance, when women played a more significant role at court, that female entourages increased in line with their power and influence.

Famously, three of Henry VIII’s six wives were ladies in waiting, with Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, and Catherine Howard each the lady-in-waiting to the queen they would replace.

What is a lady-in-waiting?

In Britain, ladies-in-waiting are titled noblewomen who serve not only the queen, but also high-ranking women in the royal household. Kate Middleton has one, while the queen’s sister Princess Margaret had many.

Queen Elizabeth II herself had nine before the Duchess of Grafton and Lady Farnham died, with seven remaining, including Susan Rhodes, Lady Elizabeth Leeming, The Hon Mary Morrison and Virginia Ogilvy, Countess of Airlie.

Although they do not live at Buckingham Palace, they sometimes stay there or in royal apartments in London should their duties require it.

What do ladies-in-waiting do?

Among lady-in-waiting Lady Farnham's many duties was attending ceremonial duties with the queen. Getty Images

Ladies-in-waiting are close, often childhood friends of the monarch, and come from titled families whose lineages stretch back alongside royalty. They act as personal assistants to the queen, assisting in day-to-day activities such as running errands, delivering messages and organising correspondence, as well as attending to personal matters, and accompanying her on royal tours and visits.

“They were dear friends who supported the queen on official duties,” a source told The Telegraph. “Unfortunately, a sad consequence of living a long life is that you have to say goodbye to a lot of people you care about.”

What do their different titles mean?

A lady-in-waiting attending to the queen is usually called Lady of the Bedchamber and they are ranked between First Lady of the Bedchamber and the Women of the Bedchamber, each carrying out various duties.

The Mistress of the Robes is almost always a duchess and the senior woman in the royal household. She is responsible for the regent’s clothes and jewellery, arranging the rota of attendance of the ladies-in-waiting and other duties at state ceremonies.

Cara Delevingne’s lady-in-waiting grandmother

Lady Anne Glenconner wrote the book 'Lady In Waiting: My Extraordinary Life in the Shadow of the Crown', about her experiences. Photo: Goodread

British actress and model Cara Delevingne counts a royal connection in her lineage, as her maternal grandmother, Jane Sheffield, was a lady-in-waiting for Princess Margaret. The Paper Towns star’s paternal grandmother, Angela Delevingne, was also friendly with the teenage Prince Philip.

Another famous lady-in-waiting was Lady Anne Glenconner, whose husband Colin Tennant, Lord Glenconner bought the island of Mustique back in 1958. She served as lady-in-waiting to her childhood friend Princess Margaret, and published a book in 2020, at the age of 87, about her experiences, called Lady In Waiting: My Extraordinary Life in the Shadow of the Crown.

Some of her revelations included the visit to Swaziland, where Princess Margaret and her party were housed in a brothel, and the issue of where to pin a medal, sent by the queen, on a half-naked tribal ruler. She also referred to attending to the princess' “royal moments”, such as learning to swim doggy-paddle sideways so that Margaret, doing breaststroke, could carry on a conversation with her in the pool.