It might sound partway to outlandish, but the professional league outcomes of future seasons could hinge upon questions of KFC, pasta and shisha.
Which elite side can minimise most successfully the number of meals taken at KFC? Which can integrate most successfully the prudent pre-match meal? Who can shelve the shisha?
Go, teams!
From his post as the medical services director at Al Jazira, Nick Worth sits at a unique window upon the UAE footballing culture and, upon arrival last November, he saw something stirring. In filling out diet sheets, players often listed an affinity for the Kentucky-fried American export with alluring concoctions you might describe as, well ...
"Not conducive to performance," Worth said.
From 17 years at six upper-tier English clubs, Worth came upon footballers "thinking that having KFC and eating chicken and potatoes rather than chicken and chips" constituted "nutritious meals". He understands, for he has seen near his home the mini-phenomenon known as the KFC traffic jam.
"If you go through there in the evenings, the place is absolutely packed," he said, citing Thursdays and Fridays in particular. "They queue down the road to get in the drive-in section. It's actually difficult to drive past because there's so many cars there. KFC is a real institution here, far more than other outlets."
Now, most anyone who gives up KFC, McDonald's, Burger King, all of it, then tries it again post-hiatus, notices the food seems as if caroming around the digestive tract ransacking organs with polo mallets. That said, ousting it altogether can be a big ask, so Worth isn't asking.
His realistic approach with Jazira's players - after Ramadan, of course - entails mixing the odd KFC stop amid weeks of overall culinary reason.
"I know I'm not going to change their ways," he said. "I'm not going to try and revolutionise things. What you're trying to do is just chip away a little bit."
In chats with similarly employed professional league colleagues, he has learned the mix of nutritional cultures poses challenges at other clubs as well. Take the pre-match meal.
Ideally, an elite athlete three-and-a-quarter hours before kick-off would eat a hefty meal of high-carbohydrate, high-energy foods such as grilled chicken, pasta, rice, spaghetti bolognese. Jazira provided such meals last year, but only the South American players - and the staff! - tended to eat them.
Emirati players, he said, would tell of a big lunch at 1pm, then skip along with scant intake for seven hours toward a major exertion come evening.
Come October, he would rather see a feast at 4.45pm and a recovery shake post-match, which are common routines in the Premier League and Championship where Worth worked for Bolton Wanderers, Fulham and Manchester City, among others.
"Quite often you get players who either forget to eat or certainly don't drink enough water," he said. "You're actually trying to almost force them into eating and drinking. You're fighting against habits."
And he knows the upwards arc of such fights, so as he aims to tweak the very eating cycle, he knows it's wrong to go all drastic. To one player who has burgers cooked for him at home, Worth has suggested leaner meat, cutting the chips (and maybe half the bun) and adding a salad.
"You have to make these little inroads," he said, so you "alter things with an Arabic slant on it, adjust the Arab menu for performance, rather than just a Western diet."
One possibility: take a familiar stew and slip in more vegetables.
The best possibility with shisha, for ultimate athletic performance, would be quitting, but Worth aims at least to convince players to minimise. In lung-function tests, some had the shockingly low score of 300. "Yes, it's not cigarettes, but it's still smoke going into your lungs," he said. "It's making your lungs work less well."
If he can push that case plus the case against soda and the one against sugar in tea and coffee and supplements drinks already sugar heavy, maybe Jazira can dominate the league ... oh, wait.
"We're going to have a challenge this year because we won everything," he said. "So it's almost, 'What we did last year was right.'" Even though with sport, "You've got to make sure you stay ahead of the game all the time."
Some players have responded. Some have consulted Worth saying they'd like more muscle or a tad less weight. If Jazira do win the league by even more, it might be amusing to wonder if it stemmed partly from the fine art of KFC avoidance.
cculpepper@thenational.ae
The specs
Engine: Direct injection 4-cylinder 1.4-litre
Power: 150hp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: From Dh139,000
On sale: Now
MO
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECreators%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMohammed%20Amer%2C%20Ramy%20Youssef%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMohammed%20Amer%2C%20Teresa%20Ruiz%2C%20Omar%20Elba%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%204%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Springsteen: Deliver Me from Nowhere
Director: Scott Cooper
Starring: Jeremy Allen White, Odessa Young, Jeremy Strong
Rating: 4/5
In Full Flight: A Story of Africa and Atonement
John Heminway, Knopff
Friday's schedule in Madrid
Men's quarter-finals
Novak Djokivic (1) v Marin Cilic (9) from 2pm UAE time
Roger Federer (4) v Dominic Thiem (5) from 7pm
Stefanos Tsitsipas (8) v Alexander Zverev (3) from 9.30pm
Stan Wawrinka v Rafael Nadal (2) from 11.30pm
Women's semi-finals
Belinda Bencic v Simona Halep (3) from 4.30pm
Sloane Stephens (8) v Kiki Bertens (7) from 10pm
The%20US%20Congress%20explained
%3Cp%3E-%20Congress%20is%20one%20of%20three%20branches%20of%20the%20US%20government%2C%20and%20the%20one%20that%20creates%20the%20nation's%20federal%20laws%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E-%20Congress%20is%20divided%20into%20two%20chambers%3A%20The%20House%20of%20Representatives%20and%20the%20Senate%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E-%C2%A0The%20House%20is%20made%20up%20of%20435%20members%20based%20on%20a%20state's%20population.%20House%20members%20are%20up%20for%20election%20every%20two%20years%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E-%20A%20bill%20must%20be%20approved%20by%20both%20the%20House%20and%20Senate%20before%20it%20goes%20to%20the%20president's%20desk%20for%20signature%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E-%20A%20political%20party%20needs%20218%20seats%20to%20be%20in%20control%20of%20the%20House%20of%20Representatives%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E-%20The%20Senate%20is%20comprised%20of%20100%20members%2C%20with%20each%20state%20receiving%20two%20senators.%20Senate%20members%20serve%20six-year%20terms%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E-%20A%20political%20party%20needs%2051%20seats%20to%20control%20the%20Senate.%20In%20the%20case%20of%20a%2050-50%20tie%2C%20the%20party%20of%20the%20president%20controls%20the%20Senate%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The Vile
Starring: Bdoor Mohammad, Jasem Alkharraz, Iman Tarik, Sarah Taibah
Director: Majid Al Ansari
Rating: 4/5
How Islam's view of posthumous transplant surgery changed
Transplants from the deceased have been carried out in hospitals across the globe for decades, but in some countries in the Middle East, including the UAE, the practise was banned until relatively recently.
Opinion has been divided as to whether organ donations from a deceased person is permissible in Islam.
The body is viewed as sacred, during and after death, thus prohibiting cremation and tattoos.
One school of thought viewed the removal of organs after death as equally impermissible.
That view has largely changed, and among scholars and indeed many in society, to be seen as permissible to save another life.
Married Malala
Malala Yousafzai is enjoying married life, her father said.
The 24-year-old married Pakistan cricket executive Asser Malik last year in a small ceremony in the UK.
Ziauddin Yousafzai told The National his daughter was ‘very happy’ with her husband.
Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre V8 twin-turbocharged and three electric motors
Power: Combined output 920hp
Torque: 730Nm at 4,000-7,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch automatic
Fuel consumption: 11.2L/100km
On sale: Now, deliveries expected later in 2025
Price: expected to start at Dh1,432,000
If you go...
Fly from Dubai or Abu Dhabi to Chiang Mai in Thailand, via Bangkok, before taking a five-hour bus ride across the Laos border to Huay Xai. The land border crossing at Huay Xai is a well-trodden route, meaning entry is swift, though travellers should be aware of visa requirements for both countries.
Flights from Dubai start at Dh4,000 return with Emirates, while Etihad flights from Abu Dhabi start at Dh2,000. Local buses can be booked in Chiang Mai from around Dh50
Essentials
The flights
Emirates and Etihad fly direct from the UAE to Geneva from Dh2,845 return, including taxes. The flight takes 6 hours.
The package
Clinique La Prairie offers a variety of programmes. A six-night Master Detox costs from 14,900 Swiss francs (Dh57,655), including all food, accommodation and a set schedule of medical consultations and spa treatments.
Silent Hill f
Publisher: Konami
Platforms: PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X/S, PC
Rating: 4.5/5
High profile Al Shabab attacks
- 2010: A restaurant attack in Kampala Uganda kills 74 people watching a Fifa World Cup final football match.
- 2013: The Westgate shopping mall attack, 62 civilians, five Kenyan soldiers and four gunmen are killed.
- 2014: A series of bombings and shootings across Kenya sees scores of civilians killed.
- 2015: Four gunmen attack Garissa University College in northeastern Kenya and take over 700 students hostage, killing those who identified as Christian; 148 die and 79 more are injured.
- 2016: An attack on a Kenyan military base in El Adde Somalia kills 180 soldiers.
- 2017: A suicide truck bombing outside the Safari Hotel in Mogadishu kills 587 people and destroys several city blocks, making it the deadliest attack by the group and the worst in Somalia’s history.
Results:
Men's 100m T34: 1. Walid Ktila (TUN) 15 sec; 2. Rheed McCracken (AUS) 15.40; 3. Mohammed Al Hammadi (UAE) 15.75. Men's 400m T34: 1. Walid Ktila (TUN) 50.56; 2. Mohammed Al Hammadi (UAE) 50.94; 3. Henry Manni (FIN) 52.24.