They are born into some of the most conservative societies in the world, where a girl does not move out of her parents' home until her wedding night. But an increasing number of single young women from the Gulf states are now breaking with centuries of tradition by moving to the Emirates to pursue lucrative careers and - most significant of all - live on their own away from their families.
This group, along with Emiratis making similar choices, are better educated than previous generations of Gulf women, more confident and feel little or no guilt about delaying marriage. For Deena al Awami, 24, a Saudi citizen who moved to Abu Dhabi a year ago, the difference between living in Saudi Arabia and pursuing a career in the capital came down to this: a woman back home may have more potential than a man, but not as many opportunities.
It is almost the first thing Ms Awami says when she arrives for a cafe meeting and slings her beige Louis Vuitton bag over the back of the chair. With her Dolce and Gabbana heels and skinny jeans, she could have stepped from the pages of a New York fashion magazine. Indeed, Ms Awami grew up in California and has a degree in media and mass communications from the Edinboro University of Pennsylvania.
She may wear European clothes and have an American education, but she still admits that it was not easy to convince her parents to break with Arab tradition and allow their unmarried daughter to take a job with Aldar, the property development company. "My mum first told me to fly a kite," she says. "Never, never was she going to let me do this. "They all thought I could get a job in Bahrain or Saudi so why move? My sister is engaged to a guy in the Emirates and he convinced them that Aldar is a big company, it's growing, it's a big opportunity. He said it's a good chance."
A key part of persuading her parents was the promise that she would fly to Bahrain every weekend to visit them, or to Saudi Arabia where her cousins say she has blazed a trail. "My cousins are just graduating and they say, 'that's it, we want to move to the UAE too'," she says. "My female cousins tell me this. I have Kuwaiti friends who are moving here. It's about more freedom, freedom of choice and living your life the way you want." There are no statistics on how many single Gulf women are living and working in Dubai; indeed statistics on social trends in the Gulf are extremely difficult to come by and studies almost non-existent.
However, scholars say they began observing an increase after the September 11 attacks when many families, Saudis in particular, began sending their children to Dubai in the belief that allowing them to work in a neighbouring Islamic state was safer than sending them to the West, says Rima Sabban, a Dubai-based sociologist. "It is a post-9/11 phenomena," she says. "The whole Arab region today is pushing its young generation out. Dubai and the UAE is pulling them. The UAE is much safer place to all Arabs. There are those who come from the politically chaotic states. Others are from the socially repressive states and others from the economically depressed."
Dr Sabban points out that Saudi Arabia and even Kuwait are much more socially restrictive for women while Bahrain's economy lags behind that of the UAE. For parents, she says, the UAE's status with the Islamic world is crucial. "Their families think Dubai is Muslim, it is protective, it is conservative and from their perspective this is what they need," she says. From the women's perspective, Dubai is a city with relaxed social attitudes and a single woman can live on her own legally at age 21.
These women are nearly always from a liberal, upper-class background, and have at least a bachelor's degree or more, says Paul Dyer, a research associate at the Dubai School of Government. "They can come to Dubai, work professionally, get an apartment of their own or live with a brother for example," he said. "It is a lifestyle that provides them with independence and they maintain a life they couldn't get anywhere else in the Gulf."
Earlier generations of Arab women. including the Lebanese and Palestinians, obtained jobs as school teachers or secretaries. But the new generation arriving from the Gulf states tend to gravitate towards careers in such fields as property, the media, the arts, sales or marketing, says Dr Sabban. Sameera al Musallami, 24, a human resources officer, spends five nights a week at Dubai's Dusit Thani hotel, returning home to visit her family in Ajman each weekend.
She says she enjoys working at the Thai-owned establishment so much and learning about Thai culture that she does not mind being considered odd by many of her friends. "My dream was to apply for a job in this place because I loved the way the building looks from the outside," says the Higher Colleges of Technology graduate. "People say to me, 'how can you live with them, or eat their food', but I say the Thai are the same people as us." Many foreigners, she feels, believe Emiratis want to work only for the Government. "But I would like to be a role model and change attitudes."
Her Egyptian-born mother, a housewife, gave her blessing because she wanted her daughter to take advantage of opportunities she never had. However, her older sister was dubious because some hotels have reputations as being little more than brothels. "She said that people have bad ideas about hotels so I asked her to visit me at my accommodation and office. She did and said, 'OK, go ahead'. My accommodation is a single room. There are three buildings. One for men, one for single women and one for families."
She often feels lonely, but sees this as a price worth paying for the opportunity to pursue her ambitions. "I dream of being a human resources manager," she says. "This is my future, if I lose this chance I may not find a new chance." What about marriage? She blushes. "Not yet. I'm still young. I'm focused on my goal. My mother says it is your time now and enjoy it." With education levels of Gulf women rising, Ms Musallami is typical of females who choose to delay marriage; it is no longer uncommon for women to be single into their early 30s, which would have been considered scandalous a generation ago.
"They finish university or college by age 20 or 21 and are socialised with the idea to work or are excited to work and once they become more educated they contest gender roles in the family," says Mr Dyer, the Dubai School of Government research specialist. "As they go out, work and become successful they have a harder time finding men willing to marry them." In Saudi Arabia, one in 16 women is still not married by the age of 30, according to a government study published last year.
Noora, 34, who prefers to withhold her last name, agrees that independent women sometimes struggle to find husbands. She has a higher diploma from the Emirates Institute of Banking and Financial Studies in Sharjah and works in a bank. "If you find someone less educated than you, then you don't want to marry them," she says. "I had male suitors who were less educated and were also way younger so how could I marry them?
"Women today are more open-minded, you can give your opinions, you don't have stay at home and say nothing. But for men, some of them are still living in the past. I hear a lot of my colleagues at work saying this too. Men, not all of them, do not want their woman to get ahead." Yet Ms Awami is convinced attitudes are changing. "I want someone who understands me and who I understand," she says. "Someone who respects my decisions. I'm not picky about where he is from as long as he is a decent guy."
Even so, she is not even thinking of marriage. "Maybe I'll marry when I'm 30," she says. But for now, she is having fun. Glancing at her mobile phone, she announces that it is time to go. It is 10pm and a text message tells her friends are waiting at the Shangri-La hotel for a late night shisha. @Email:hghafour@thenational.ae