How care-givers should deal with children's inappropriate acts

A social-care expert at the Dubai Community Development Authority talks abouthow adults should respond when a child exhibits natural curiosity about body parts.

ABU DHABI // As a new teacher in the rural Western Region, Amber was not sure what to do when she caught a young boy touching himself inappropriately in class.

"He was maybe six years old," she recalled of the incident, which happened a few years ago at a government school. "When I brought him to the counsellor ... she just started screaming at him. She wouldn't listen to me and I was just shoved out of the door."

On another occasion she caught the same boy and his peers exposing their genitals to each other.

"One mother told me through a translator ... that if I ever caught him doing it I should tell him I'd call the police," said Amber, a Canadian who asked for her last name to be withheld.

Now teaching in another emirate, she still believes the situation was not handled in the right way.

"It's definitely something you need to talk to the child about," she said. "You have to be sensitive to the issue and talk to them in a language they understand."

Indeed, adults should be careful when dealing with such cases, said Dr Hussain Maseeh, a social-care expert at the Dubai Community Development Authority. In particular, they should not be overly alarmed if a child exhibits natural curiosity about body parts, a typical childhood phase.

"Not everything that happens is a crisis", causing parents to wonder why their child is behaving like that, said Dr Ruba Tabari, an educational psychologist.

Less serious cases should be dealt with in a way that does not scare the child, Dr Maseeh said.

"Show them that this is wrong and put limitations on their behaviour, but in no case should we shame them," he said.

Severe cases require professional intervention and therapy.

"If we're talking [about] child abusing child, I think both are victims, one more than the other," Dr Maseeh said. "But the real side that is at fault here is the family, for not monitoring their kids."

All school staff should be trained to respond to abuse, said Naeema Jiwani, a child-development psychologist in Dubai.