A 38-year-old doctor, was just 24 when he married, before divorcing his wife seven years later.
He met his wife through his sister and attributes the break up to a lack of understanding of his lifestyle, which involved lots of travel for work.
He said he realised many fellow Emiratis have also been through divorce.
“Since getting a divorce, I have noticed that a number of couples have gone through that in their lives. I was brought up in a house where marriage was revered and divorce was something that we never talked about as an option.
“I was taught that if it’s broken, we try to fix it and not get a new one. I belong to that generation. Unfortunately that is not the case among the millenials as divorce is a very common thing,” he said.
Though he agrees with the findings of research conducted by Zayed University, UAE University and Al Khwarizmi International College, that it is tougher for women to move on, he says times are changing.
“Culturally it was always women who had the short end of the stick, but now even divorced women can get remarried. I’m currently married to a divorced woman, so it all depends on the educational background of the person, how he or she treats the divorce and of course, if there are any kids involved.”
He too believes there are many factors which correlate with the West, including the interference of family. “Family interference plays a huge deal,” he said. “If a daughter or a son goes back to his family complaining of issues in marriage, the parent of the daughter may ask her to leave her husband and come back and live with him. In the past, a woman felt secure having a home of her own, however, nowadays, modern times call for an independent woman and a marriage becomes a business transaction. If it’s not working for him or her, it becomes void. I believe that marriage is more than that. Marriage is about creating the next generation. It is also about finding the one who will make you realise your true potential and make you want to be a better person.”
Domestic abuse, both physical and emotional, also play a big role, he says. “People should realise that domestic abuse is not just physical. It could be emotional, psychological and also physical. Most cases of divorce are because of the first two. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to ascertain the extent of emotional and psychological abuse and this matter requires therapists as well as counselors.”
Divorce from Arranged Marriages: An Exploration of Lived Experiences has just been published in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage.
mswan@thenational.ae
