Father's Day: Dads open up about struggles to conceive and urge others not to give up

Chandan Sahu with his 18-month-old daughter Deetya at his home in Dubai. Pawan Singh / The National

Couples struggling to start a family have been urged not to give up hope by fathers who also feared they would never have children.

Heartache and despair were common emotions for one Indian couple living in Dubai who had all but given up on having a child together.

However, that all changed in 2021, when Chandan Kumar Sahu, 37, and his wife, Urmila, 33, welcomed the arrival of their first baby. They had even more reason to celebrate two years later, when their second child arrived.

I couldn't believe that I finally had become a father

Chandan Kumar Sahu

Mr Sahu spoke to The National to send a message of hope as the UAE marked Father's Day on Wednesday.

'Miracles can happen'

“I can't put into words how blessed and grateful we are. We had our first baby in 2021 and our second was born one month ago,” said Mr Sahu.

“Father's Day will forever have a special meaning for me. It's a celebration of the miracles that can happen when you refuse to give up hope.”

According to a 2021 report from market research firm Colliers, the infertility rate in the UAE was 15 per cent, with a 50/50 split between men and women.

Mr Sahu explained how the couple were left scratching their heads in confusion as they failed to conceive after their first year of marriage. Tests showed there was no medical reason for this.

“It was strange as tests proved both of us could have a child and didn’t have a problem. However, years of tests and visiting doctors led to nothing,” he said.

A clinical embryologist at work in Dubai Gynaecology and Fertility Centre. Jeffrey E Biteng / The National

The couple went through several rounds of Intro Vitro Fertilisation but in 2018, a friend tipped them off about Dr Caroline Alphine, a specialist in obstetrics and gynaecology at Aster Hospital, Mankhool.

She guided them away from the IVF route.

“The doctor checked the reports and asked us to keep trying to conceive and gave my wife some vitamins and medicine,” he said.

“She supported us mentally and physically until my wife became pregnant and our first child, our daughter Deetya, was born in November 2021.”

Deetya was born one month prematurely.

“I was crying when I held her for the first time,” he said.

“They were tears of happiness, though, as I couldn't believe that I finally had become a father.”

In May, Mr Sahu and his wife welcomed their newborn son Dev.

Dr Alphine told of how the couple had endured numerous rounds of IVF.

“The couple came and sought help. After a year of treatment, she conceived in 2019 but unfortunately experienced an ectopic pregnancy,” she said.

“In 2020, she was diagnosed with endometriosis, and we performed a successful laparoscopy to address the condition.”

The Sahus again began trying to conceive in the wake of the ectopic pregnancy and treatment for endometriosis, and finally Ms Sahu became pregnant.

Mr Sahu was full of praise for the support offered by Dr Alphine throughout their journey.

“She became part of our family,” Mr Sahu added.

“The house is noisy now and I really enjoy it. It's a different feeling to be a father. It’s a mix of joy and pride.”

Struggling to conceive is an experience that touches many lives, not least that of Dubai resident Ahmed Ibrahim.

Five year struggle

He told The National how hearing his two-year-old son call him Daddy was a precious moment, after five years of IVF treatment.

The 45-year-old Iraqi was married in 2014, with doctors informing him and his wife their only chance of conceiving was probably through IVF.

“We didn't believe the doctors and kept trying to have a baby [naturally] but with no success,” he said.

“We refused to let our dream fade away and we agreed to go through IVF.”

The couple endured years of medical treatments and constant disappointment.

The answer to their prayers came in 2021 when their son Hassan was born, following a successful round of IVF.

“I overheard my friends talking about Father's Day and what their children mean to them,” he said.

“Now I am part of this occasion. Being a father is a blessing and it's nice for families to have one day in the year when they can embrace and thank their fathers.”