The Bidone d’Oro, the Italians used to call it. A reference to the more famous Ballon d’Or, it translated literally as “the Golden Bin”, and that gives an indication of its purpose.
It was the footballing equivalent of the Golden Raspberry Awards, the unwanted prizes that precede the Oscars and highlight particularly awful acting performances, often by Sylvester Stallone.
Like the Razzies, the Bidone d’Oro was designed to laugh at the rich and famous.
This was not an exercise in humiliating a youngster who was out of his depth, or a lower-division player who had been promoted beyond his capabilities. Instead, the award winners were the struggling superstars, often Adriano, the gifted but maddeningly erratic Brazilian striker whose three “victories” made him the Stallone of Serie A.
To the relief of Italian football’s overpaid underachievers, the award – needless to say, never one that received official approval – has been discontinued.
Were it to be revived in England, the two prime candidates were at Anfield on Sunday. Fittingly, both began on the bench. Mario Balotelli and Radamel Falcao had cameos, one in a desperate search for an equaliser and the other in irrelevant fashion.
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These are players with pedigree. Falcao scored 155 goals in 200 games for his three previous clubs, FC Porto, Atletico Madrid and AS Monaco, and was the eighth-most expensive player in footballing history 12 months ago.
Balotelli decided a Euro 2012 semi-final against future world champions Germany. He was the most destructive, decisive player on the pitch in the Premier League's most extraordinary result, Manchester City's 6-1 win at Old Trafford in 2011.
He still possesses the same abundant ability but, three-and-a-half years on, has rarely shown the maturity an elite player requires.
If Balotelli does not have the mentality, Falcao lacks the mobility. The cruciate ligament injury he suffered last January seems, as was always feared, a chronic blow. The Colombian’s predatory instincts are still apparent when the ball comes within a yard of him, but it does so too infrequently.
His mentor said Falcao's plight at Manchester United has left him in tears. His appearance in the final few minutes of the 3-0 win against Tottenham Hotspur felt like a placatory gesture that was also patronising: the game was so easy that even Falcao could have a run out.
Yet Falcao’s 2015 performances, especially against QPR, West Ham United, Burnley and Preston North End, have been so wretched his removal from the team had the feeling of a merciful release.
Balotelli sometimes exerts influence as a substitute, especially against Tottenham and Besiktas, but the most telling statistic is that he has started just one of Liverpool’s last 31 games, which they lost.
Both Daniel Sturridge and Raheem Sterling rank ahead of him in the striking pecking order, even though the latter is not really a striker. Balotelli is the wild card, the joker in the pack, but too much of the amusement is at his expense. Liverpool do not trust him.
The common denominators are that he and Falcao have scored four goals apiece. Each represented a panic signing at the end of the transfer window, left on the shelf because others had wisely decided not to recruit them and brought in after other targets eluded United and Liverpool.
The best thing that can be said of United’s move for Falcao is that it was only on loan. If they pay the £43 million (Dh235.1m) to turn it into a permanent transfer, it really will be a sign that agent Jorge Mendes wields too much power in the corridors of Old Trafford.
Liverpool long ago decided that they want their relationship with Balotelli to be a one-season affair: the problem, especially for a club that struggles to offload unwanted players, is whether the Italian, whose reputation can deter past suitors, will attract a buyer.
United and Liverpool were English football’s two biggest spenders last summer, paying out a combined £269m in fees to acquire players. Falcao and Balotelli, at £22m between them, represented a comparatively small percentage of the outlay, but sizeable salaries reflect their past deeds.
They have a pedigree and a profile. Falcao was a guarantee of goals and Balotelli, in between his other antics, produced more telling contributions for each of his previous clubs.
Their position gives them a chance to score a redemptive goal, one that may help secure Uefa Champions League qualification or, in Liverpool’s case, the FA Cup, but their appearances will be rationed because of chastening failure, in recruiting the wrong players and seeing them underperform on the pitch.
If there was an English equivalent of the Bidone d’Oro, they would be the prime candidates.
Because, while it should be a source of sadness rather than mockery, each, in his different way, has been rubbish.
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