MANCHESTER // Some managers sign specialist goalscorers. Others sell them.
Louis van Gaal is the man who dispensed with Javier Hernandez and who argued he did not want competition for places in attack. He has spent £285 million (Dh1.5 billion) without buying an out-and-out finisher, perhaps rationalising that his side create them too few chances to flourish.
How damning that he was condemned to defeat by Southampton's striking substitute, Charlie Austin, a newcomer flourishing at Old Trafford.
He was the Premier League's fourth-highest scorer last season, contributing 18 goals for relegated Queens Park Rangers.
“Great numbers of goals,” Ronald Koeman said. “That is the reason we liked to sign Charlie.”
What a start for Austin, delivering a winner seven minutes and 43 seconds into his debut. What a reward for Koeman, Van Gaal’s protege turned enemy, who signed Austin for a cut-price fee of £4m, and saw the newcomer secure Saints’ second successive win at Old Trafford.
Read more: Louis van Gaal concedes being at Manchester United is 'not an easy job at the moment'
That was a feat they last achieved in 1969, the start of Manchester United's awkward adjustment to life after Matt Busby. They have greater resources but are struggling similarly without Alex Ferguson.
This provided a microcosm of the problems under Van Gaal.
Devoid of ideas, invention or incision, lacking ambition or attacking football, failing to excite or entertain, United are barren and boring. They mustered one shot on target. That, from Daley Blind, was tame and saved easily by Fraser Forster.
They were booed off after the final whistle. Significantly, too, the dissent began long before then.
As Van Gaal’s dullards left the pitch after 45 minutes of utter nothingness, the song blaring out on the tannoy was “Glory, glory, Man United”. Glory? Gory, perhaps. Boring, definitely. Scoring, definitely not.
Rarely has a soundtrack been less appropriate. They can play upbeat music on the PA but the more meaningful sound came from the crowd.
Boos greeted a hopelessly misplaced pass by Matteo Darmian after 38 minutes.
The first chant of “attack, attack, attack” came five minutes before the interval. The sentiments have been heard before, but never as early. It is rare that United are jeered the week after winning at Anfield but these are not normal times.
Online gallery: Charlie Austin and Southampton shock Manchester United at Old Trafford
Ridiculously, United have drawn a blank in 11 successive first halves at home. They have not struck before the break at Old Trafford since September. Only one of their players, Memphis Depay, has done so in the Premier League goal at home all season.
Van Gaal’s slow starters instead have a capacity to waste time in passages of play that are notable purely for their tediousness. Van Gaal has turned Old Trafford into a wasteland. The paying public are rebelling ever more.
Huge cheers greeted Juan Mata’s arrival and Marouane Fellaini’s exit. They went far beyond the appreciation of an incoming player, though the craftsman certainly made a welcome difference. The Belgian had rumbled around the midfield cluelessly, crashing into opponents and generally giving the impression everything involving him happened more by accident than design.
When Adnan Januzaj, exiled to Borussia Dortmund in the summer, came on, he also received a rapturous reception.
The overlooked attackers have become cause celebres.
Van Gaal’s focus lies at the other end of the pitch, where problems are mushrooming anyway.
Darmian, United’s only fit senior full-back was taken off, spitting blood and with chest and rib problems.
Van Gaal had already determined he needed defensive reinforcements and that search should be accelerated now.
As it was, the Dutchman had switched to a lopsided wing-back formation to match Southampton’s system. Van Gaal may deem it a case of rigorous preparation, but it backfired.
It also smacked of cautiousness that frustrates many at a club with a tradition of cavalier attacking. Jesse Lingard was wasted in a more defensive role.
Southampton were more coherent. Sadio Mane and Victor Wanyama could have scored winners. Austin did, illustrating why other managers sign specialist goalscorers.
Not Van Gaal, though.
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The%20specs
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Election pledges on migration
CDU: "Now is the time to control the German borders and enforce strict border rejections"
SPD: "Border closures and blanket rejections at internal borders contradict the spirit of a common area of freedom"
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Specs
Engine: Duel electric motors
Power: 659hp
Torque: 1075Nm
On sale: Available for pre-order now
Price: On request
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What is dialysis?
Dialysis is a way of cleaning your blood when your kidneys fail and can no longer do the job.
It gets rid of your body's wastes, extra salt and water, and helps to control your blood pressure. The main cause of kidney failure is diabetes and hypertension.
There are two kinds of dialysis — haemodialysis and peritoneal.
In haemodialysis, blood is pumped out of your body to an artificial kidney machine that filter your blood and returns it to your body by tubes.
In peritoneal dialysis, the inside lining of your own belly acts as a natural filter. Wastes are taken out by means of a cleansing fluid which is washed in and out of your belly in cycles.
It isn’t an option for everyone but if eligible, can be done at home by the patient or caregiver. This, as opposed to home haemodialysis, is covered by insurance in the UAE.
Zayed Sustainability Prize
Profile
Company: Justmop.com
Date started: December 2015
Founders: Kerem Kuyucu and Cagatay Ozcan
Sector: Technology and home services
Based: Jumeirah Lake Towers, Dubai
Size: 55 employees and 100,000 cleaning requests a month
Funding: The company’s investors include Collective Spark, Faith Capital Holding, Oak Capital, VentureFriends, and 500 Startups.
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
The schedule
December 5 - 23: Shooting competition, Al Dhafra Shooting Club
December 9 - 24: Handicrafts competition, from 4pm until 10pm, Heritage Souq
December 11 - 20: Dates competition, from 4pm
December 12 - 20: Sour milk competition
December 13: Falcon beauty competition
December 14 and 20: Saluki races
December 15: Arabian horse races, from 4pm
December 16 - 19: Falconry competition
December 18: Camel milk competition, from 7.30 - 9.30 am
December 20 and 21: Sheep beauty competition, from 10am
December 22: The best herd of 30 camels
The National Archives, Abu Dhabi
Founded over 50 years ago, the National Archives collects valuable historical material relating to the UAE, and is the oldest and richest archive relating to the Arabian Gulf.
Much of the material can be viewed on line at the Arabian Gulf Digital Archive - https://www.agda.ae/en
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Things Heard & Seen
Directed by: Shari Springer Berman, Robert Pulcini
Starring: Amanda Seyfried, James Norton
2/5
Electric scooters: some rules to remember
- Riders must be 14-years-old or over
- Wear a protective helmet
- Park the electric scooter in designated parking lots (if any)
- Do not leave electric scooter in locations that obstruct traffic or pedestrians
- Solo riders only, no passengers allowed
- Do not drive outside designated lanes
About Takalam
Date started: early 2020
Founders: Khawla Hammad and Inas Abu Shashieh
Based: Abu Dhabi
Sector: HealthTech and wellness
Number of staff: 4
Funding to date: Bootstrapped
The biog
Hometown: Cairo
Age: 37
Favourite TV series: The Handmaid’s Tale, Black Mirror
Favourite anime series: Death Note, One Piece and Hellsing
Favourite book: Designing Brand Identity, Fifth Edition
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
Temple numbers
Expected completion: 2022
Height: 24 meters
Ground floor banquet hall: 370 square metres to accommodate about 750 people
Ground floor multipurpose hall: 92 square metres for up to 200 people
First floor main Prayer Hall: 465 square metres to hold 1,500 people at a time
First floor terrace areas: 2,30 square metres
Temple will be spread over 6,900 square metres
Structure includes two basements, ground and first floor
WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?
1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull
2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight
3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge
4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own
5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed