hollywood watch
When moviemakers get everything right, it’s almost a guarantee that they’ve made a flop
‘Let me tell you something,” a very successful Hollywood producer once barked at me over a lunchtime chopped salad, “a hit movie or television show represents a mistake somewhere in the system.”
What he meant, I suppose, is that Hollywood produces, by an overwhelming margin, lacklustre productions and outright failures. Of the hundreds of television series produced in one year, only a handful will go on to a profitable future. In feature films, the ratio is much the same. So when a project somehow breaks through the bottleneck – market research, studio and network interference, and endless demands by the paymasters and mandarins for reshoots and rewrites and recasting – and develops into an outright success, it’s hard not to see it as some kind of malfunction in a system designed to produce disasters.
The processes an organisation has in place, goes the business axiom, are perfectly designed to produce the results that they do. This is a hard idea to truly embrace. We like to think that it’s our failures that are anomalies and our successes that truly represent a healthy and working system, but it’s a good idea every now and then to stop and consider if it’s not the other way around.
It certainly is in Hollywood. Last weekend, three hugely expensive feature films were released into cinemas to a resounding thud. One, a long-time passion project by one of the greatest directors alive, Martin Scorsese, barely made a ripple. Another, starring a certified box-office star, Ben Affleck, was greeted with yawns and indifference. The third, a family film that was designed to appeal to all ages ended up appealing to no one.
Movie studios and entertainment industry watchers had ready-made explanations for this: it’s a tough time of the year for movies, the weather keeps audiences at home, children are back in school after the winter holiday and everyone is back at work, or audiences are busy catching up on Oscar contenders from the previous year. But all of these excuses ring hollow. The reason these movies failed is because the processes in place were designed to produce that result.
Before a movie is made, it’s forced to cross several hurdles. Before a dollar is spent, most movies face a checklist of (almost) impossible requirements. Does it have a recognisable star involved? It is helmed by a strong director with a clear point of view? Does it tell a story that’s original and fresh but also familiar to audiences? And finally, is there a moviegoing public out there that’s receptive to this kind of film?
In the case of the trio of last weekend's box-office duds, the answer to all of those questions was an emphatic "yes". Martin Scorsese's Silence is an historical drama with clear appeal to religious viewers and features two of the hottest young actors around, Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver. But the picture fizzled. Garfield and Driver's representatives no doubt spent the early part of this week reminding everyone that the movie is a "Martin Scorsese picture" and so its failure is not a reflection of their clients' respective value at the box office. And Scorsese's representatives probably spent most of Monday and Tuesday telling everyone that the problems with the movie could be blamed on the casting.
The Ben Affleck movie, Live by Night is a gangster movie set in the 1920s, directed by and starring Affleck, is a more complicated situation. It's hard to blame the casting or direction when both involve the same person. And Paramount Pictures surely predicted that its major disaster this weekend, Monster Trucks, would appeal to children and adults alike with its unusual blending of animation and live-action storytelling. All three projects reflect at least a year's worth of thoughtful and strategic decision-making by some of the most experienced and accomplished players in the entertainment business.
We’ve all had the experience of sitting in a cinema watching the trailers and knowing, deep in our bones, which movies are going to catch fire and which are going to flame out. I remember sitting in a Los Angeles cinema, surrounded on all sides by an industry-savvy audience, and after one particularly unpromising trailer hearing someone utter: “Not going to work.”
The audience laughed. There was just something in that fourminute preview that revealed just how awful that picture was, despite the dozens and dozens of sophisticated and talented marketing brains who carefully and painstakingly assembled a trailer designed to cover up the stupidity and predictability of the movie.
The system, after all, is designed to produce movies that meet certain requirements, but no one yet has developed a system for making "good" movies (whatever that means) or financially successful ones. After all, the most popular movie in the United States now is Hidden Figures, a feel-good drama about a trio of African-American female mathematicians who were instrumental to the Nasa space programme, which sounds like the most unlikely description of a hit movie ever conceived. Hidden Figures hits very few of the elemental requirements for a movie to get produced, which is why its success is unrepeatable.
The system is designed to produce Monster Trucks. The hit film, Hidden Figures, is a mistake.
Rob Long is a writer and producer in Hollywood
On Twitter: @rcbl
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
Benefits of first-time home buyers' scheme
- Priority access to new homes from participating developers
- Discounts on sales price of off-plan units
- Flexible payment plans from developers
- Mortgages with better interest rates, faster approval times and reduced fees
- DLD registration fee can be paid through banks or credit cards at zero interest rates
The years Ramadan fell in May
The years Ramadan fell in May
THE CLOWN OF GAZA
Director: Abdulrahman Sabbah
Starring: Alaa Meqdad
Rating: 4/5
Squid Game season two
Director: Hwang Dong-hyuk
Stars: Lee Jung-jae, Wi Ha-joon and Lee Byung-hun
Rating: 4.5/5
Film: Raid
Dir: Rajkumar Gupta
Starring: Ajay Devgn, Ileana D'cruz and Saurabh Shukla
Verdict: Three stars
Results:
6.30pm: Handicap (Turf) | US$175,000 2,410m | Winner: Bin Battuta, Christophe Soumillon (jockey), Saeed bin Suroor (trainer)
7.05pm: UAE 1000 Guineas Trial Conditions (Dirt) | $100,000 | 1,400m | Winner: Al Hayette, Fabrice Veron, Ismail Mohammed
7.40pm: Handicap (T) | $145,000 | 1,000m | Winner: Faatinah, Jim Crowley, David Hayes
8.15pm: Dubawi Stakes Group 3 (D) | $200,000 | 1,200m | Winner: Raven’s Corner, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar
8.50pm: Singspiel Stakes Group 3 (T) | $200,000 | 1,800m | Winner: Dream Castle, Christophe Soumillon, Saeed bin Suroor
9.25pm: Handicap (T) | $175,000 | 1,400m | Winner: Another Batt, Connor Beasley, George Scott
UK-EU trade at a glance
EU fishing vessels guaranteed access to UK waters for 12 years
Co-operation on security initiatives and procurement of defence products
Youth experience scheme to work, study or volunteer in UK and EU countries
Smoother border management with use of e-gates
Cutting red tape on import and export of food
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
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Ferrari 12Cilindri specs
Engine: naturally aspirated 6.5-liter V12
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Tips to stay safe during hot weather
- Stay hydrated: Drink plenty of fluids, especially water. Avoid alcohol and caffeine, which can increase dehydration.
- Seek cool environments: Use air conditioning, fans, or visit community spaces with climate control.
- Limit outdoor activities: Avoid strenuous activity during peak heat. If outside, seek shade and wear a wide-brimmed hat.
- Dress appropriately: Wear lightweight, loose and light-coloured clothing to facilitate heat loss.
- Check on vulnerable people: Regularly check in on elderly neighbours, young children and those with health conditions.
- Home adaptations: Use blinds or curtains to block sunlight, avoid using ovens or stoves, and ventilate living spaces during cooler hours.
- Recognise heat illness: Learn the signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke (dizziness, confusion, rapid pulse, nausea), and seek medical attention if symptoms occur.
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if you go
The flights
Emirates flies to Delhi with fares starting from around Dh760 return, while Etihad fares cost about Dh783 return. From Delhi, there are connecting flights to Lucknow.
Where to stay
It is advisable to stay in Lucknow and make a day trip to Kannauj. A stay at the Lebua Lucknow hotel, a traditional Lucknowi mansion, is recommended. Prices start from Dh300 per night (excluding taxes).