hollywood watch
When moviemakers get everything right, it’s almost a guarantee that they’ve made a flop
‘Let me tell you something,” a very successful Hollywood producer once barked at me over a lunchtime chopped salad, “a hit movie or television show represents a mistake somewhere in the system.”
What he meant, I suppose, is that Hollywood produces, by an overwhelming margin, lacklustre productions and outright failures. Of the hundreds of television series produced in one year, only a handful will go on to a profitable future. In feature films, the ratio is much the same. So when a project somehow breaks through the bottleneck – market research, studio and network interference, and endless demands by the paymasters and mandarins for reshoots and rewrites and recasting – and develops into an outright success, it’s hard not to see it as some kind of malfunction in a system designed to produce disasters.
The processes an organisation has in place, goes the business axiom, are perfectly designed to produce the results that they do. This is a hard idea to truly embrace. We like to think that it’s our failures that are anomalies and our successes that truly represent a healthy and working system, but it’s a good idea every now and then to stop and consider if it’s not the other way around.
It certainly is in Hollywood. Last weekend, three hugely expensive feature films were released into cinemas to a resounding thud. One, a long-time passion project by one of the greatest directors alive, Martin Scorsese, barely made a ripple. Another, starring a certified box-office star, Ben Affleck, was greeted with yawns and indifference. The third, a family film that was designed to appeal to all ages ended up appealing to no one.
Movie studios and entertainment industry watchers had ready-made explanations for this: it’s a tough time of the year for movies, the weather keeps audiences at home, children are back in school after the winter holiday and everyone is back at work, or audiences are busy catching up on Oscar contenders from the previous year. But all of these excuses ring hollow. The reason these movies failed is because the processes in place were designed to produce that result.
Before a movie is made, it’s forced to cross several hurdles. Before a dollar is spent, most movies face a checklist of (almost) impossible requirements. Does it have a recognisable star involved? It is helmed by a strong director with a clear point of view? Does it tell a story that’s original and fresh but also familiar to audiences? And finally, is there a moviegoing public out there that’s receptive to this kind of film?
In the case of the trio of last weekend's box-office duds, the answer to all of those questions was an emphatic "yes". Martin Scorsese's Silence is an historical drama with clear appeal to religious viewers and features two of the hottest young actors around, Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver. But the picture fizzled. Garfield and Driver's representatives no doubt spent the early part of this week reminding everyone that the movie is a "Martin Scorsese picture" and so its failure is not a reflection of their clients' respective value at the box office. And Scorsese's representatives probably spent most of Monday and Tuesday telling everyone that the problems with the movie could be blamed on the casting.
The Ben Affleck movie, Live by Night is a gangster movie set in the 1920s, directed by and starring Affleck, is a more complicated situation. It's hard to blame the casting or direction when both involve the same person. And Paramount Pictures surely predicted that its major disaster this weekend, Monster Trucks, would appeal to children and adults alike with its unusual blending of animation and live-action storytelling. All three projects reflect at least a year's worth of thoughtful and strategic decision-making by some of the most experienced and accomplished players in the entertainment business.
We’ve all had the experience of sitting in a cinema watching the trailers and knowing, deep in our bones, which movies are going to catch fire and which are going to flame out. I remember sitting in a Los Angeles cinema, surrounded on all sides by an industry-savvy audience, and after one particularly unpromising trailer hearing someone utter: “Not going to work.”
The audience laughed. There was just something in that fourminute preview that revealed just how awful that picture was, despite the dozens and dozens of sophisticated and talented marketing brains who carefully and painstakingly assembled a trailer designed to cover up the stupidity and predictability of the movie.
The system, after all, is designed to produce movies that meet certain requirements, but no one yet has developed a system for making "good" movies (whatever that means) or financially successful ones. After all, the most popular movie in the United States now is Hidden Figures, a feel-good drama about a trio of African-American female mathematicians who were instrumental to the Nasa space programme, which sounds like the most unlikely description of a hit movie ever conceived. Hidden Figures hits very few of the elemental requirements for a movie to get produced, which is why its success is unrepeatable.
The system is designed to produce Monster Trucks. The hit film, Hidden Figures, is a mistake.
Rob Long is a writer and producer in Hollywood
On Twitter: @rcbl
How to help
Donate towards food and a flight by transferring money to this registered charity's account.
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Account Number: 11 530 734
IBAN: AE 9805 000 000 000 11 530 734
Bank Name: Abu Dhabi Islamic Bank
To ensure that your contribution reaches these people, please send the copy of deposit/transfer receipt to: juhi.khan@daralber.ae
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Match info
Newcastle United 1
Joselu (11')
Tottenham Hotspur 2
Vertonghen (8'), Alli (18')
Scores in brief:
Day 1
New Zealand (1st innings) 153 all out (66.3 overs) - Williamson 63, Nicholls 28, Yasir 3-54, Haris 2-11, Abbas 2-13, Hasan 2-38
Pakistan (1st innings) 59-2 (23 overs)
The biog
Name: Dr Lalia Al Helaly
Education: PhD in Sociology from Cairo
Favourite authors: Elif Shafaq and Nizar Qabbani.
Favourite music: classical Arabic music such as Um Khalthoum and Abdul Wahab,
She loves the beach and advises her clients to go for meditation.
Who was Alfred Nobel?
The Nobel Prize was created by wealthy Swedish chemist and entrepreneur Alfred Nobel.
- In his will he dictated that the bulk of his estate should be used to fund "prizes to those who, during the preceding year, have conferred the greatest benefit to humankind".
- Nobel is best known as the inventor of dynamite, but also wrote poetry and drama and could speak Russian, French, English and German by the age of 17. The five original prize categories reflect the interests closest to his heart.
- Nobel died in 1896 but it took until 1901, following a legal battle over his will, before the first prizes were awarded.
In-demand jobs and monthly salaries
- Technology expert in robotics and automation: Dh20,000 to Dh40,000
- Energy engineer: Dh25,000 to Dh30,000
- Production engineer: Dh30,000 to Dh40,000
- Data-driven supply chain management professional: Dh30,000 to Dh50,000
- HR leader: Dh40,000 to Dh60,000
- Engineering leader: Dh30,000 to Dh55,000
- Project manager: Dh55,000 to Dh65,000
- Senior reservoir engineer: Dh40,000 to Dh55,000
- Senior drilling engineer: Dh38,000 to Dh46,000
- Senior process engineer: Dh28,000 to Dh38,000
- Senior maintenance engineer: Dh22,000 to Dh34,000
- Field engineer: Dh6,500 to Dh7,500
- Field supervisor: Dh9,000 to Dh12,000
- Field operator: Dh5,000 to Dh7,000
Match info
Uefa Champions League Group F
Manchester City v Hoffenheim, midnight (Wednesday, UAE)
Avatar: Fire and Ash
Director: James Cameron
Starring: Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Zoe Saldana
Rating: 4.5/5
Brave CF 27 fight card
Welterweight:
Abdoul Abdouraguimov (champion, FRA) v Jarrah Al Selawe (JOR)
Lightweight:
Anas Siraj Mounir (TUN) v Alex Martinez (CAN)
Welterweight:
Mzwandile Hlongwa (RSA) v Khamzat Chimaev (SWE)
Middleweight:
Tarek Suleiman (SYR) v Rustam Chsiev (RUS)
Mohammad Fakhreddine (LEB) v Christofer Silva (BRA)
Super lightweight:
Alex Nacfur (BRA) v Dwight Brooks (USA)
Bantamweight:
Jalal Al Daaja (JOR) v Tariq Ismail (CAN)
Chris Corton (PHI) v Zia Mashwani (PAK)
Featherweight:
Sulaiman (KUW) v Abdullatip (RUS)
Super lightweight:
Flavio Serafin (BRA) v Mohammad Al Katib (JOR)
Ten10 Cricket League
Venue and schedule Sharjah Cricket Stadium, December 14 to 17
Teams
Maratha Arabians Leading player: Virender Sehwag; Top picks: Mohammed Amir, Imad Wasim; UAE players: Shaiman Anwar, Zahoor Khan
Bengal Lions Leading player: Sarfraz Ahmed; Top picks: Sunil Narine, Mustafizur Rahman; UAE players: Mohammed Naveed, Rameez Shahzad
Kerala Kings Leading player: Eoin Morgan; Top picks: Kieron Pollard, Sohail Tanvir; UAE players: Rohan Mustafa, Imran Haider
Pakhtoons Leading player: Shahid Afridi; Top picks: Fakhar Zaman, Tamim Iqbal; UAE players: Amjad Javed, Saqlain Haider
Punjabi Legends Leading player: Shoaib Malik; Top picks: Hasan Ali, Chris Jordan; UAE players: Ghulam Shabber, Shareef Asadullah
Team Sri Lanka Cricket Will be made up of Colombo players who won island’s domestic limited-overs competition
if you go
The flights
Fly to Rome with Etihad (www.etihad.ae) or Emirates (www.emirates.com) from Dh2,480 return including taxes. The flight takes six hours. Fly from Rome to Trapani with Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) from Dh420 return including taxes. The flight takes one hour 10 minutes.
The hotels
The author recommends the following hotels for this itinerary. In Trapani, Ai Lumi (www.ailumi.it); in Marsala, Viacolvento (www.viacolventomarsala.it); and in Marsala Del Vallo, the Meliaresort Dimore Storiche (www.meliaresort.it).
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%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECreator%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENetflix%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EKris%20Fade%2C%20Ebraheem%20Al%20Samadi%2C%20Zeina%20Khoury%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre V8 twin-turbocharged and three electric motors
Power: Combined output 920hp
Torque: 730Nm at 4,000-7,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch automatic
Fuel consumption: 11.2L/100km
On sale: Now, deliveries expected later in 2025
Price: expected to start at Dh1,432,000
2025 Fifa Club World Cup groups
Group A: Palmeiras, Porto, Al Ahly, Inter Miami.
Group B: Paris Saint-Germain, Atletico Madrid, Botafogo, Seattle.
Group C: Bayern Munich, Auckland City, Boca Juniors, Benfica.
Group D: Flamengo, ES Tunis, Chelsea, (Leon banned).
Group E: River Plate, Urawa, Monterrey, Inter Milan.
Group F: Fluminense, Borussia Dortmund, Ulsan, Mamelodi Sundowns.
Group G: Manchester City, Wydad, Al Ain, Juventus.
Group H: Real Madrid, Al Hilal, Pachuca, Salzburg.
The specs
- Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
- Power: 640hp
- Torque: 760nm
- On sale: 2026
- Price: Not announced yet
The specs: 2018 Harley-Davidson Fat Boy
Price, base / as tested Dh97,600
Engine 1,745cc Milwaukee-Eight v-twin engine
Transmission Six-speed gearbox
Power 78hp @ 5,250rpm
Torque 145Nm @ 3,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined 5.0L / 100km (estimate)
The Brutalist
Director: Brady Corbet
Stars: Adrien Brody, Felicity Jones, Guy Pearce, Joe Alwyn
Rating: 3.5/5
The specs: 2018 Mercedes-Benz GLA
Price, base / as tested Dh150,900 / Dh173,600
Engine 2.0L inline four-cylinder
Transmission Seven-speed automatic
Power 211hp @ 5,500rpm
Torque 350Nm @ 1,200rpm
Fuel economy, combined 6.4L / 100km
THE BIO
Bio Box
Role Model: Sheikh Zayed, God bless his soul
Favorite book: Zayed Biography of the leader
Favorite quote: To be or not to be, that is the question, from William Shakespeare's Hamlet
Favorite food: seafood
Favorite place to travel: Lebanon
Favorite movie: Braveheart
ESSENTIALS
The flights
Emirates flies direct from Dubai to Rio de Janeiro from Dh7,000 return including taxes. Avianca fliles from Rio to Cusco via Lima from $399 (Dhxx) return including taxes.
The trip
From US$1,830 per deluxe cabin, twin share, for the one-night Spirit of the Water itinerary and US$4,630 per deluxe cabin for the Peruvian Highlands itinerary, inclusive of meals, and beverages. Surcharges apply for some excursions.
ETFs explained
Exhchange traded funds are bought and sold like shares, but operate as index-tracking funds, passively following their chosen indices, such as the S&P 500, FTSE 100 and the FTSE All World, plus a vast range of smaller exchanges and commodities, such as gold, silver, copper sugar, coffee and oil.
ETFs have zero upfront fees and annual charges as low as 0.07 per cent a year, which means you get to keep more of your returns, as actively managed funds can charge as much as 1.5 per cent a year.
There are thousands to choose from, with the five biggest providers BlackRock’s iShares range, Vanguard, State Street Global Advisors SPDR ETFs, Deutsche Bank AWM X-trackers and Invesco PowerShares.
UFC%20FIGHT%20NIGHT%3A%20SAUDI%20ARABIA%20RESULTS
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