There’s usually at least one moment during any given spa treatment when you think to yourself, really?
During the Shrinking Violet experience at Talise Spa in Dubai’s Madinat Jumeirah, that moment came as I was being tightly wrapped in yards of basic cling film from an industrial-sized roll.
The Shrinking Violet promises to boost sluggish circulation, reduce cellulite and fluid retention and detoxify through the application of hydrolysed lecithin, a phospholipid derived from the soya bean that is supposed to penetrate the skin and help dissolve fat. Think of a fat cell as a grape that then becomes a raisin, according to the promotional literature. It also promises that anyone who uses the treatment will lose at least three to four inches, proved by measurements taken before and after.
I had already spent a very sweaty 20 minutes in the Madinat Jumeirah spa’s infrared sauna – unlike regular saunas, infrareds promise to detox you from the inside out – and then made my way with a lovely therapist named Josephine to one of Talise’s gorgeous private rooms.
There she asked what areas on my body I was concerned about. The question raised my hackles a bit. I mean – aren’t I supposed to like the whole darn thing?
But then I reminded myself that these sorts of treatments are specifically designed for people who have areas they are concerned about. And once I got off my pulpit, I had to concede that yes, if there were some areas I was concerned about, it might be my belly and thighs. Josephine smiled, having successful coaxed my trouble spots out of me, and said she would concentrate on them.
She measured my legs, belly, hips, bust and arms with a measuring tape, always a slightly humiliating process. She reported that my measurements were equal on either side – apparently this is not often the case – and it prompted a warm feeling of pride in me, however unearned.
She instructed me to stand on towels, legs apart, while she vigorously rubbed me down with soy oil.
The staff had been careful to make sure I didn’t have any allergies to its contents, asking at least three times.
Once I was wrapped from my knees to collarbone in plastic, a strange, slightly pressurised feeling forming in my head, Josephine helped me to the spa bed. Because I was unable to bend, owing to the cling film, things were a little precarious until I managed to get seated, swing my legs onto the table and fully recline. She put a warm pillow under my head, wrapped me in blankets, and, over the next hour, proceeded with lovely massages of my head, face and feet. (Clients can also use their time more efficiently, scheduling other treatments including a facial or eyebrow tinting instead).
Although I started to get itchy – a sign that the treatment was working, according to Josephine – I avoided panic at not being able to scratch by telling myself to calm down. And soon I drifted off, so it really wasn’t an issue. I woke up to Josephine cutting the wrap off my left arm and massaging it, a process that was repeated with my other arm, legs and torso.
Josephine warned me to drink lots of water, avoid caffeine, salt, sugar and other bad stuff, as well as exercise for 24 hours, and told me to leave the oil on until the following day.
Although my trouble spots remained afterward – they always do, don’t they? – Josephine’s measurements showed I had lost an inch or a half-inch off all the parts measured. But post-wrap, I did feel and look better: peaceful, rejuvenated and quite detoxed.
Will the inches be gone forever? A firm believer in the power of exercise, I suspect not. For maximum results, the spa recommends two wraps in the first week, one wrap weekly for the first month, fortnightly for the second month and one in the third month.
• The Shrinking Violet wrap at Talise Spa at Madinat Jumeirah is Dh895, including the infrared sauna session. For more information and to book, call 04 366 6818 or email MJtalise@jumeirah.com
amcqueen@thenational.ae
