Bhavna Patil, seen here with her husband Amey Sarode, was told by her mum to keep her stammer hidden from potential grooms. Photo: Yogesh Sharma
Bhavna Patil, seen here with her husband Amey Sarode, was told by her mum to keep her stammer hidden from potential grooms. Photo: Yogesh Sharma
Bhavna Patil, seen here with her husband Amey Sarode, was told by her mum to keep her stammer hidden from potential grooms. Photo: Yogesh Sharma
Bhavna Patil, seen here with her husband Amey Sarode, was told by her mum to keep her stammer hidden from potential grooms. Photo: Yogesh Sharma

How the Indian Stammering Association has empowered thousands to find self-acceptance


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Within an hour of her first meeting with her future husband, Amey Sarode, in 2018, Bhavana Patil told him that she stammers. “He was a bit surprised as we had only chatted in Marathi until then, and I do not stammer when I speak Marathi,” says Patil, 29.

She directed him to some blog posts about her experiences with stammering. "Read my posts and let me know if you still want to meet again," she told him.

“I can’t imagine what you went through,” Sarode told Patil when he met her next. “But I can assure you that your stammer would never become a hurdle in our relationship.”

While Sarode's empathetic reaction is a major reason why the duo have been happily married for two years, Patil says: "That confidence to tell a prospective [arranged marriage] partner that he should accept my stammer before we proceed is something I got from Tisa."

The Indian Stammering Association

Patil chanced upon The Indian Stammering Association online in 2016, when she was dejected, unable to find a suitable job after her engineering degree, and “as usual” holding her stammer responsible for her problems. “I emailed them looking for a solution for my speech, but what I got was life-changing.”

Tisa – the largest community in India for people who stammer – offers free online courses, counselling, communication workshops and daily virtual meetings for its 4,000-plus members. City-specific self-help groups offer tips and techniques to manage stuttering, plus mental and emotional support.

The stigma of stammering

More than 70 million people worldwide stutter and, while it is recognised as a disability in the UK and the US, India does not list it under its Rights of Persons With Disabilities Act, thereby limiting its awareness as a social problem for people who live with it.

Most Tisa members grew up with the same experiences: unable to respond to the roll call in school; bullied by peers; not performing well in oral exams and project presentations; and limited social interactions.

Stammering is also a stigma in the country, especially for women.

Prathibha Ramamurthy's family suggested she marry her cousin as finding a suitor is tough for women who stammer; she didn't, but suffers from mockery at the hands of her in-laws to date
Prathibha Ramamurthy's family suggested she marry her cousin as finding a suitor is tough for women who stammer; she didn't, but suffers from mockery at the hands of her in-laws to date

The pressure of being a “perfect woman” in order to be eligible for marriage is too high, Patil says. It’s why her worried mother asked her to hide her stammer from potential grooms. “There is immense resentment in people for their daughter-in-law when she doesn’t measure up to their expectations,” Patil says, offering an insight into India’s as-yet gender disparate society.

Prathibha Ramamurthy, 32, a senior presales consultant in Bengaluru, got the same advice from her mother. “At one point, my family suggested I marry my cousin, since it may be difficult for me to meet a partner with my stammer.”

While consanguineous marriages are permitted in her community, Ramamurthy refused. She found a partner who accepted her despite his parents’ and siblings’ unfavourable attitude, which still exists in the form of mockery. “It isn’t easy, but my husband’s love keeps me going,” Ramamurthy says.

Ashish Agarwal experienced depression for a year, which led to a compromised lifestyle and psoriasis, an auto-immune skin disease
Ashish Agarwal experienced depression for a year, which led to a compromised lifestyle and psoriasis, an auto-immune skin disease

Others, such as chemical engineer Rajgauri Vedprakash, 23, experienced depression. "I worked so much harder for my college projects, but experienced a block while presenting and sometimes couldn't speak at all. For a long time, I had very low self-esteem."

Self-acceptance is paramount

Ramamurthy attended Tisa's weekly self-help meetings for three years, where she practised techniques to improve her fluency. Meditation and counselling by a peer group helped boost her confidence and, in time, she accepted her stutter as a part of herself. "All my life I had lived in denial, and blamed my parents and God for giving my stammer to me," she says.

Fellow Tisa member Anupam Saxena, 32, even started a theatre group for the community. In 2017, they performed three plays for a ticket-buying audience in Bengaluru. All the actors spoke to the audience about their stuttering before the show. "Being able to [act] publicly made me more comfortable with myself," says Saxena.

Anupam Saxena looked upon his stammering as a penalty for crimes committed in his past life and grew up with very few friends as he strived to keep his condition a secret
Anupam Saxena looked upon his stammering as a penalty for crimes committed in his past life and grew up with very few friends as he strived to keep his condition a secret

Acceptance is the most important thing that Tisa propagates. “We tell members that they are not alone and that stammering is not their fault,” says Dr Satyendra Srivastava, a physician and social worker from Dehradun, who founded Tisa in 2008.

Communication, he says, is a two-way street, and the responsibility of both the speaker and listener, in that the latter should have the patience to listen attentively to what is being said.

Founding Tisa

Srivastava started Tisa as a blog to pour out his feelings about his experiences with stammering. "There was a time when I let my happiness depend on the number of words I stammered in a day or not," he says. His outlook towards life changed with a chance meeting with a spiritual leader, who told him he was much more than his speech.

Tisa emerged as a multi­dimensional voluntary group because Srivastava wanted to provide a sense of community to people who stammer, so they don’t feel isolated. Twelve members volunteer their time regularly to support the group’s various activities. “We follow an old Indian belief, that serving others should be driven by empathy and care, not money,” Srivastava says.

Satyendra Srivastava, founder of Tisa
Satyendra Srivastava, founder of Tisa

Tisa is, however, limited in its reach to tech-savvy internet users. "We'd like to create self-help groups, and conduct workshops for teachers and parents in rural areas, but we don't have local partners," he says. "Thousands of kids who hide their stammer to escape ridicule could be supported."

Heart-warming success stories

As arduous as the condition is for many, the success stories are as heart-warming. Saxena says he looked upon his stammering as a penalty for crimes committed in his past life. Being a Tisa member has given him something he sorely lacked growing up, as he strove to keep his condition a secret: friends.

We'd like to create self-help groups and conduct workshops in rural areas. Thousands of kids who hide their stammer to escape ridicule could be supported

Stress and nervousness trigger a speech block for people who stammer. Dr Humayun Khan, 27, went through this when interacting with supervisors during his postgraduate entrance exam, thus ruining his performance. A single tip from Tisa – "keep smiling and maintain eye contact with the person you talk to" – has helped him stay calm in stressful engagements, he says.

Ashish Agarwal, 36, was so invested in attaining speech fluency during college that he ended up falling into a depression that lasted a year and led to a compromised lifestyle and psoriasis, an auto­immune skin disease. Once he became a Tisa member, he shifted his focus from fluency to effective communication. "The sense of belonging members find trickles down to other spheres of their life, too," says Srivastava.

Tisa provides a manual for parents, teachers and employers, which comes in handy when volunteers conduct free communication workshops in cities and participate in corporate diversity conferences.

Sensitisation has helped teachers understand that some children may not speak up at all because of their shame of stammering. Employers learn that it is a good idea to be patient and give a few extra minutes during interviews. Even a single convert goes a long way in influencing the life of a person who stammers.

'Panga'

Directed by Ashwiny Iyer Tiwari

Starring Kangana Ranaut, Richa Chadha, Jassie Gill, Yagya Bhasin, Neena Gupta

Rating: 3.5/5

The specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo

Power: 261hp at 5,500rpm

Torque: 405Nm at 1,750-3,500rpm

Transmission: 9-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 6.9L/100km

On sale: Now

Price: From Dh117,059

The%20new%20Turing%20Test
%3Cp%3EThe%20Coffee%20Test%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cem%3EA%20machine%20is%20required%20to%20enter%20an%20average%20American%20home%20and%20figure%20out%20how%20to%20make%20coffee%3A%20find%20the%20coffee%20machine%2C%20find%20the%20coffee%2C%20add%20water%2C%20find%20a%20mug%20and%20brew%20the%20coffee%20by%20pushing%20the%20proper%20buttons.%3C%2Fem%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EProposed%20by%20Steve%20Wozniak%2C%20Apple%20co-founder%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The%20specs
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2.0-litre%204-cyl%20turbo%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E190hp%20at%205%2C600rpm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E320Nm%20at%201%2C500-4%2C000rpm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E7-speed%20dual-clutch%20auto%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFuel%20consumption%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E10.9L%2F100km%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFrom%20Dh119%2C900%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENow%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The specs

Price, base / as tested Dh1,100,000 (est)

Engine 5.2-litre V10

Gearbox seven-speed dual clutch

Power 630bhp @ 8,000rpm

Torque 600Nm @ 6,500rpm

Fuel economy, combined 15.7L / 100km (est) 

Gifts exchanged
  • King Charles - replica of President Eisenhower Sword
  • Queen Camilla -  Tiffany & Co vintage 18-carat gold, diamond and ruby flower brooch
  • Donald Trump - hand-bound leather book with Declaration of Independence
  • Melania Trump - personalised Anya Hindmarch handbag

Empty Words

By Mario Levrero  

(Coffee House Press)
 

FULL%20RESULTS
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EMiddleweight%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EEslam%20Syaha%20(EGY)%20bt%20Robin%20Roos%20(SWE)%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EWelterweight%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EAlex%20da%20Silva%20(BRA)%20bt%20Bagyash%20Zharmamatov%20(KGZ)%20%0D%3Cbr%3EMurodov%20Samandar%20(TJK)%20bt%20Lucas%20Sampaio%20(BRA)%20%0D%3Cbr%3EShakhban%20Alkhasov%20(RUS)%20bt%20Salamat%20Orozakunov%20(KGZ)%0D%3Cbr%3EKhotamjon%20Boynazarov%20(UZB)%20bt%20Mikail%20Bayram%20(FRA)%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBantamweight%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EJieleyisi%20Baergeng%20(CHN)%20bt%20Xavier%20Alaoui%20(CAN)%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFlyweight%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3ERashid%20Vagabov%20(RUS)%20bt%20Lun%20Qui%20(CHN)%20%0D%3Cbr%3EYamato%20Fujita%20(JPN)%20bt%20Furkatbek%20Yokubov%20(UZB)%20%0D%3Cbr%3EAaron%20Aby%20(WLS)%20bt%20Joevincent%20So%20(PHI)%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECatchweight%20176lb%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EMark%20Hulm%20(RSA)%20bt%20Erkin%20Darmenov%20(KAZ)%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECatchweight%20160lb%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3ERustam%20Serbiev%20(BEL)%20bt%20Anar%20Huseyinov%20(AZE)%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECatchweight%20150lb%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EIslam%20Reda%20(EGY)%20bt%20Ernie%20Braca%20(PHI)%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFlyweight%20(women)%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%0D%3Cbr%3EBaktygul%20Kurmanbekova%20(KGZ)%20bt%20Maria%20Eugenia%20Zbrun%20(ARG)%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
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Other acts on the Jazz Garden bill

Sharrie Williams
The American singer is hugely respected in blues circles due to her passionate vocals and songwriting. Born and raised in Michigan, Williams began recording and touring as a teenage gospel singer. Her career took off with the blues band The Wiseguys. Such was the acclaim of their live shows that they toured throughout Europe and in Africa. As a solo artist, Williams has also collaborated with the likes of the late Dizzy Gillespie, Van Morrison and Mavis Staples.
Lin Rountree
An accomplished smooth jazz artist who blends his chilled approach with R‘n’B. Trained at the Duke Ellington School of the Arts in Washington, DC, Rountree formed his own band in 2004. He has also recorded with the likes of Kem, Dwele and Conya Doss. He comes to Dubai on the back of his new single Pass The Groove, from his forthcoming 2018 album Stronger Still, which may follow his five previous solo albums in cracking the top 10 of the US jazz charts.
Anita Williams
Dubai-based singer Anita Williams will open the night with a set of covers and swing, jazz and blues standards that made her an in-demand singer across the emirate. The Irish singer has been performing in Dubai since 2008 at venues such as MusicHall and Voda Bar. Her Jazz Garden appearance is career highlight as she will use the event to perform the original song Big Blue Eyes, the single from her debut solo album, due for release soon.

RESULT

Bayern Munich 3 Chelsea 2
Bayern: Rafinha (6'), Muller (12', 27')
Chelsea: Alonso (45' 3), Batshuayi (85')

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Auron Mein Kahan Dum Tha

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Tabu, Shantanu Maheshwari, Jimmy Shergill, Saiee Manjrekar

Director: Neeraj Pandey

Rating: 2.5/5

Our legal consultant

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants

Manikarnika: The Queen of Jhansi

Director: Kangana Ranaut, Krish Jagarlamudi

Producer: Zee Studios, Kamal Jain

Cast: Kangana Ranaut, Ankita Lokhande, Danny Denzongpa, Atul Kulkarni

Rating: 2.5/5

Desert Warrior

Starring: Anthony Mackie, Aiysha Hart, Ben Kingsley

Director: Rupert Wyatt

Rating: 3/5

LOVE%20AGAIN
%3Cp%3EDirector%3A%20Jim%20Strouse%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EStars%3A%20Priyanka%20Chopra%20Jonas%2C%20Sam%20Heughan%2C%20Celine%20Dion%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ERating%3A%202%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Recent winners

2002 Giselle Khoury (Colombia)

2004 Nathalie Nasralla (France)

2005 Catherine Abboud (Oceania)

2007 Grace Bijjani  (Mexico)

2008 Carina El-Keddissi (Brazil)

2009 Sara Mansour (Brazil)

2010 Daniella Rahme (Australia)

2011 Maria Farah (Canada)

2012 Cynthia Moukarzel (Kuwait)

2013 Layla Yarak (Australia)              

2014 Lia Saad  (UAE)

2015 Cynthia Farah (Australia)

2016 Yosmely Massaad (Venezuela)

2017 Dima Safi (Ivory Coast)

2018 Rachel Younan (Australia)

The specs

AT4 Ultimate, as tested

Engine: 6.2-litre V8

Power: 420hp

Torque: 623Nm

Transmission: 10-speed automatic

Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)

On sale: Now

OTHER IPL BOWLING RECORDS

Best bowling figures: 6-14 – Sohail Tanvir (for Rajasthan Royals against Chennai Super Kings in 2008)

Best average: 16.36 – Andrew Tye

Best economy rate: 6.53 – Sunil Narine

Best strike-rate: 12.83 – Andrew Tye

Best strike-rate in an innings: 1.50 – Suresh Raina (for Chennai Super Kings against Rajasthan Royals in 2011)

Most runs conceded in an innings: 70 – Basil Thampi (for Sunrisers Hyderabad against Royal Challengers Bangalore in 2018)

Most hat-tricks: 3 – Amit Mishra

Most dot-balls: 1,128 – Harbhajan Singh

Most maiden overs bowled: 14 – Praveen Kumar

Most four-wicket hauls: 6 – Sunil Narine

 

Jebel Ali results

2pm: Handicap (PA) Dh 50,000 (Dirt) 1,400m

Winner: AF Al Moreeb, Antonio Fresu (jockey), Ernst Oertel (trainer)

2.30pm: Maiden (TB) Dh 60,000 (D) 1,400m

Winner: Shamikh, Ryan Curatolo, Nicholas Bachalard

3pm: Handicap (TB) Dh 64,000 (D) 1,600m

Winner: One Vision, Connor Beasley, Ali Rashid Al Raihe

3.30pm: Conditions (TB) Dh 100,000 (D) 1,600m

Winner: Gabr, Sam Hitchcott, Doug Watson

4pm: Handicap (TB) Dh 96,000 (D) 1,800m

Winner: Just A Penny, Sam Hitchcock, Doug Watson

4.30pm: Maiden (TB) Dh 60,000 (D) 1,600m

Winner: Torno Subito, Sam Hitchcock, Doug Watson

5pm: Handicap (TB) Dh 76,000 (D) 1,950m

Winner: Untold Secret, Jose Santiago, Salem bin Ghadayer

Key findings of Jenkins report
  • Founder of the Muslim Brotherhood, Hassan al Banna, "accepted the political utility of violence"
  • Views of key Muslim Brotherhood ideologue, Sayyid Qutb, have “consistently been understood” as permitting “the use of extreme violence in the pursuit of the perfect Islamic society” and “never been institutionally disowned” by the movement.
  • Muslim Brotherhood at all levels has repeatedly defended Hamas attacks against Israel, including the use of suicide bombers and the killing of civilians.
  • Laying out the report in the House of Commons, David Cameron told MPs: "The main findings of the review support the conclusion that membership of, association with, or influence by the Muslim Brotherhood should be considered as a possible indicator of extremism."
Classification of skills

A worker is categorised as skilled by the MOHRE based on nine levels given in the International Standard Classification of Occupations (ISCO) issued by the International Labour Organisation. 

A skilled worker would be someone at a professional level (levels 1 – 5) which includes managers, professionals, technicians and associate professionals, clerical support workers, and service and sales workers.

The worker must also have an attested educational certificate higher than secondary or an equivalent certification, and earn a monthly salary of at least Dh4,000. 

SPEC%20SHEET%3A%20APPLE%20IPAD%20(2022)
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If you go

The flights
Etihad (etihad.com) flies from Abu Dhabi to Luang Prabang via Bangkok, with a return flight from Chiang Rai via Bangkok for about Dh3,000, including taxes. Emirates and Thai Airways cover the same route, also via Bangkok in both directions, from about Dh2,700.
The cruise
The Gypsy by Mekong Kingdoms has two cruising options: a three-night, four-day trip upstream cruise or a two-night, three-day downstream journey, from US$5,940 (Dh21,814), including meals, selected drinks, excursions and transfers.
The hotels
Accommodation is available in Luang Prabang at the Avani, from $290 (Dh1,065) per night, and at Anantara Golden Triangle Elephant Camp and Resort from $1,080 (Dh3,967) per night, including meals, an activity and transfers.

Honeymoonish
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Company%20profile
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Match info

Bournemouth 0
Liverpool 4
(Salah 25', 48', 76', Cook 68' OG)

Man of the match: Andrew Robertson (Liverpool)

WTL%20SCHEDULE
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Formula One top 10 drivers' standings after Japan

1. Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes 306
2. Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari 247
3. Valtteri Bottas, Mercedes 234
4. Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull 192
5. Kimi Raikkonen, Ferrari 148
6. Max Verstappen, Red Bull 111
7. Sergio Perez, Force India 82
8. Esteban Ocon, Force India 65
9. Carlos Sainz Jr, Toro Rosso 48
10. Nico Hulkenberg, Renault 34

Leaderboard

15 under: Paul Casey (ENG)

-14: Robert MacIntyre (SCO)

-13 Brandon Stone (SA)

-10 Laurie Canter (ENG) , Sergio Garcia (ESP)

-9 Kalle Samooja (FIN)

-8 Thomas Detry (BEL), Justin Harding (SA), Justin Rose (ENG)

THE BIO: Martin Van Almsick

Hometown: Cologne, Germany

Family: Wife Hanan Ahmed and their three children, Marrah (23), Tibijan (19), Amon (13)

Favourite dessert: Umm Ali with dark camel milk chocolate flakes

Favourite hobby: Football

Breakfast routine: a tall glass of camel milk

SPEC%20SHEET
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UAE SQUAD FOR ASIAN JIU-JITSU CHAMPIONSHIP

Men’s squad: Faisal Al Ketbi, Omar Al Fadhli, Zayed Al Kathiri, Thiab Al Nuaimi, Khaled Al Shehhi, Mohamed Ali Al Suwaidi, Farraj Khaled Al Awlaqi, Muhammad Al Ameri, Mahdi Al Awlaqi, Saeed Al Qubaisi, Abdullah Al Qubaisi and Hazaa Farhan

Women's squad: Hamda Al Shekheili, Shouq Al Dhanhani, Balqis Abdullah, Sharifa Al Namani, Asma Al Hosani, Maitha Sultan, Bashayer Al Matrooshi, Maha Al Hanaei, Shamma Al Kalbani, Haya Al Jahuri, Mahra Mahfouz, Marwa Al Hosani, Tasneem Al Jahoori and Maryam Al Amri