"We've got a prima donna on board," Roger says, referring to a big African lady flaunting a manicure featuring fake pearls encircled by rhinestones affixed to each of her 10 fingernails. We've waded through mud to clamber onto a boat to cross the mouth of the Congo River into Angola only to find her on board.
I don't know what she's shouting. It might have something to do with several extra men that have jumped aboard a vessel meant for six passengers. They are also shouting; the boat's pilot, too. In a fit of impatience, I join in, yelling in English, "Come on, let's go!" The entreaty is lost in the din as the boat rocks in the shallow water.
Simple things tend to become complicated in Africa, like crossing a river. But then, this isn't just any river. The Congo has arguably seen more bloodshed than any other waterway on Earth. Long before the Second Congo War along its banks killed more than five million from 1998 to 2008, the river's figurative darkness, deep in the continent, had been a matter of historical and literary record.
Macabre connections aside, the Congo is also a mighty tap, discharging an average of 40,000 cubic metres of water into the Atlantic every second. Its course actually extends miles out to sea, visible on Google Earth like the jet of a jacuzzi. Only the Amazon exceeds its flow, and the Congo basin of four million square kilometres makes it the world's third largest river catchment.
It's already been a long day and it's not half over. We'd woken this morning at an immigration post of the Democratic Republic of Congo, having spent the night sleeping on the floor in front of the passport collection window. It was already late morning when the station chief, who insisted on approving our entry in person, finally appeared and stamped us into the country.
While waiting, we'd struck up a conversation with Blaise, the only DRC immigration officer who spoke decent English. "Do tourists pass through here very often?" we asked.
"Sometimes," Blaise replied. "There were a couple of Germans. I think that was two months ago."
On tracks of thick sand, through verdant grasslands with stalks tall as a man, a shared 4x4 took us from the border to the sun-baked city of Muanda, occupying a tiny strip of DRC coastline facing the Atlantic. At Banana, a point overlooking the Congo mouth, we went through another round of customs and immigration.
Summoned to a wooden shack to pay for the tickets (US$25 each; Dh92) for the 30-minute crossing, I saw something that both perplexed and repulsed. "You'd better go take a look at the pictures on the wall," I said to Roger, whom I'd left watching our bags near the boat launch.
Two photographs showed something resembling an old mannequin with paint bubbling and peeling from its surface, floating in a reedy pool of water - obviously the corpse of human being. Unable to translate the French written above the snapshots or coax a discernible explanation from the ticket seller, I sent Roger back to investigate. The body, he ascertained, was that of the captain of one of the boat company's vessels who'd been killed - the word they used was "killed", not "died", Roger said - and found in this state months later. I gathered it was a tribal or gang-related killing. Cripes.
So, here we are with the prima donna. The shouting finally stops and the pilot yanks the outboard motor into action. At a midway point in the journey, the interlopers disembark and a non-uniformed man demands an inexplicable payment of about $2 (Dh7) from each of the passengers. Everyone obliges except Roger and I, who respond with our customary refusal when faced with demands for small bribes: "Non, c'est pas possible."
"We all have to pay, so why shouldn't you?" the lady says to Roger.
"But you also don't have to pay," Roger corrects her. I'm not sure she understood his point: what would happen if one day, everyone in Africa refused to play along with petty corruption?
We move out of the river estuary. Reduced to six passengers, the engine starts to roar as we pick up speed, the hull hitting the waves repeatedly with the force of a spade slamming into an anvil, soaking us head to toe. The woman's bling-encrusted hands hold on for dear life.
It seems like we're out on the open sea now, but the water doesn't taste like it.
I shout across to Roger: "There's no salt!"
"What?" He can't hear me.
"I said the water's not salty!" I lick my lips again. Not a trace on the tongue - just the plain-tasting detritus of the whole suffering continent, its blood, filth and tragedy diffused and washed out to sea in the Congo's never-ending gush.
Scott MacMillan is blogging about his journey on his website, www.wanderingsavage.com.
The specs: 2018 Ducati SuperSport S
Price, base / as tested: Dh74,900 / Dh85,900
Engine: 937cc
Transmission: Six-speed gearbox
Power: 110hp @ 9,000rpm
Torque: 93Nm @ 6,500rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 5.9L / 100km
if you go
The flights
Etihad, Emirates and Singapore Airlines fly direct from the UAE to Singapore from Dh2,265 return including taxes. The flight takes about 7 hours.
The hotel
Rooms at the M Social Singapore cost from SG $179 (Dh488) per night including taxes.
The tour
Makan Makan Walking group tours costs from SG $90 (Dh245) per person for about three hours. Tailor-made tours can be arranged. For details go to www.woknstroll.com.sg
The specs
Powertrain: Single electric motor
Power: 201hp
Torque: 310Nm
Transmission: Single-speed auto
Battery: 53kWh lithium-ion battery pack (GS base model); 70kWh battery pack (GF)
Touring range: 350km (GS); 480km (GF)
Price: From Dh129,900 (GS); Dh149,000 (GF)
On sale: Now
WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?
1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull
2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight
3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge
4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own
5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed
Our legal consultant
Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
SPECS
Engine: 1.5-litre turbo
Power: 181hp
Torque: 230Nm
Transmission: 6-speed automatic
Starting price: Dh79,000
On sale: Now
CHATGPT ENTERPRISE FEATURES
• Enterprise-grade security and privacy
• Unlimited higher-speed GPT-4 access with no caps
• Longer context windows for processing longer inputs
• Advanced data analysis capabilities
• Customisation options
• Shareable chat templates that companies can use to collaborate and build common workflows
• Analytics dashboard for usage insights
• Free credits to use OpenAI APIs to extend OpenAI into a fully-custom solution for enterprises
Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus
Developer: Sucker Punch Productions
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
Console: PlayStation 2 to 5
Rating: 5/5
Race card
1.30pm: Handicap (PA) Dh 50,000 (Dirt) 1,400m
2pm: Handicap (TB) Dh 84,000 (D) 1,400m
2.30pm: Maiden (TB) Dh 60,000 (D) 1,200m
3pm: Conditions (TB) Dh 100,000 (D) 1.950m
3.30pm: Handicap (TB) Dh 76,000 (D) 1,800m
4pm: Maiden (TB) Dh 60,000 (D) 1,600m
4.30pm: Handicap (TB) Dh 68,000 (D) 1,000m
More coverage from the Future Forum
India squad for fourth and fifth Tests
Kohli (c), Dhawan, Rahul, Shaw, Pujara, Rahane (vc), Karun, Karthik (wk), Pant (wk), Ashwin, Jadeja, Pandya, Ishant, Shami, Umesh, Bumrah, Thakur, Vihari
The Details
Kabir Singh
Produced by: Cinestaan Studios, T-Series
Directed by: Sandeep Reddy Vanga
Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Kiara Advani, Suresh Oberoi, Soham Majumdar, Arjun Pahwa
Rating: 2.5/5
Confirmed bouts (more to be added)
Cory Sandhagen v Umar Nurmagomedov
Nick Diaz v Vicente Luque
Michael Chiesa v Tony Ferguson
Deiveson Figueiredo v Marlon Vera
Mackenzie Dern v Loopy Godinez
Tickets for the August 3 Fight Night, held in partnership with the Department of Culture and Tourism Abu Dhabi, went on sale earlier this month, through www.etihadarena.ae and www.ticketmaster.ae.
Company Profile
Company name: Namara
Started: June 2022
Founder: Mohammed Alnamara
Based: Dubai
Sector: Microfinance
Current number of staff: 16
Investment stage: Series A
Investors: Family offices
Barbie
Director: Greta Gerwig
Stars: Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling, Will Ferrell, America Ferrera
Rating: 4/5
Company Profile
Name: HyveGeo
Started: 2023
Founders: Abdulaziz bin Redha, Dr Samsurin Welch, Eva Morales and Dr Harjit Singh
Based: Cambridge and Dubai
Number of employees: 8
Industry: Sustainability & Environment
Funding: $200,000 plus undisclosed grant
Investors: Venture capital and government
Guns N’ Roses’s last gig before Abu Dhabi was in Hong Kong on November 21. We were there – and here’s what they played, and in what order. You were warned.
- It’s So Easy
- Mr Brownstone
- Chinese Democracy
- Welcome to the Jungle
- Double Talkin’ Jive
- Better
- Estranged
- Live and Let Die (Wings cover)
- Slither (Velvet Revolver cover)
- Rocket Queen
- You Could Be Mine
- Shadow of Your Love
- Attitude (Misfits cover)
- Civil War
- Coma
- Love Theme from The Godfather (movie cover)
- Sweet Child O’ Mine
- Wichita Lineman (Jimmy Webb cover)
- Wish You Were Here (instrumental Pink Floyd cover)
- November Rain
- Black Hole Sun (Soundgarden cover)
- Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door (Bob Dylan cover)
- Nightrain
Encore:
- Patience
- Don’t Cry
- The Seeker (The Who cover)
- Paradise City
COMPANY PROFILE
Company name: Revibe
Started: 2022
Founders: Hamza Iraqui and Abdessamad Ben Zakour
Based: UAE
Industry: Refurbished electronics
Funds raised so far: $10m
Investors: Flat6Labs, Resonance and various others
The biog
Favourite hobby: taking his rescue dog, Sally, for long walks.
Favourite book: anything by Stephen King, although he said the films rarely match the quality of the books
Favourite film: The Shawshank Redemption stands out as his favourite movie, a classic King novella
Favourite music: “I have a wide and varied music taste, so it would be unfair to pick a single song from blues to rock as a favourite"
MATCH INFO
Inter Milan 2 (Vecino 65', Barella 83')
Verona 1 (Verre 19' pen)
Brief scores:
Toss: Sindhis, elected to field first
Kerala Knights 103-7 (10 ov)
Parnell 59 not out; Tambe 5-15
Sindhis 104-1 (7.4 ov)
Watson 50 not out, Devcich 49
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
Company profile
Company name: Fasset
Started: 2019
Founders: Mohammad Raafi Hossain, Daniel Ahmed
Based: Dubai
Sector: FinTech
Initial investment: $2.45 million
Current number of staff: 86
Investment stage: Pre-series B
Investors: Investcorp, Liberty City Ventures, Fatima Gobi Ventures, Primal Capital, Wealthwell Ventures, FHS Capital, VN2 Capital, local family offices
How I connect with my kids when working or travelling
Little notes: My girls often find a letter from me, with a joke, task or some instructions for the afternoon, and saying what I’m excited for when I get home.
Phone call check-in: My kids know that at 3.30pm I’ll be free for a quick chat.
Highs and lows: Instead of a “how was your day?”, at dinner or at bathtime we share three highlights; one thing that didn’t go so well; and something we’re looking forward to.
I start, you next: In the morning, I often start a little Lego project or drawing, and ask them to work on it while I’m gone, then we’ll finish it together.
Bedtime connection: Wake up and sleep time are important moments. A snuggle, some proud words, listening, a story. I can’t be there every night, but I can start the day with them.
Undivided attention: Putting the phone away when I get home often means sitting in the car to send a last email, but leaving it out of sight between home time and bedtime means you can connect properly.
Demystify, don’t demonise your job: Help them understand what you do, where and why. Show them your workplace if you can, then it’s not so abstract when you’re away - they’ll picture you there. Invite them into your “other” world so they know more about the different roles you have.
RESULTS
Time; race; prize; distance
4pm: Maiden; (D) Dh150,000; 1,200m
Winner: General Line, Xavier Ziani (jockey), Omar Daraj (trainer)
4.35pm: Maiden (T); Dh150,000; 1,600m
Winner: Travis County, Adrie de Vries, Ismail Mohammed
5.10pm: Handicap (D); Dh175,000; 1,200m
Winner: Scrutineer, Tadhg O’Shea, Ali Rashid Al Raihe
5.45pm: Maiden (D); Dh150,000; 1,600m
Winner: Yulong Warrior, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar
6.20pm: Maiden (D); Dh150,000; 1,600m
Winner: Ejaaby, Jim Crowley, Doug Watson
6.55pm: Handicap (D); Dh160,000; 1,600m
Winner: Storyboard, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar
7.30pm: Handicap (D); Dh150,000; 2,200m
Winner: Grand Dauphin, Gerald Mosse, Ahmed Al Shemaili
8.05pm: Handicap (T); Dh190,000; 1,800m
Winner: Good Trip, Tadhg O’Shea, Ali Rashid Al Raihe
Top 10 most competitive economies
1. Singapore
2. Switzerland
3. Denmark
4. Ireland
5. Hong Kong
6. Sweden
7. UAE
8. Taiwan
9. Netherlands
10. Norway
The Super Mario Bros Movie
Directors: Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic
Stars: Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Seth Rogen and Keegan-Michael Key
Rating: 1/5