Stars going into the Oscars at the Kodak Theatre tonight will have to wait with the rest of the world to hear the contents of those Oscars envelopes, but by the time they take their seats they will have been unceremoniously handed a trophy. A gong for their chosen look. And not necessarily an accolade. Unlike the Academy Awards, these are real-time, real-life awards for the best and worst, dished out by the ruthless fashion pundits with hit and miss stickers at the ready. Verdicts are delivered to the court of public opinion via rolling news and then into supermarket tabloids, the glossies and on to countless TV chat-show sofas.
Inside, as the luvvies are still gushing their thanks, their looks will already have been a critical success or blown a resounding raspberry. For some there is the consolation of winning the Best Frock Oscar even if the real one slipped from their grasp. For others likely to top the worst-dressed lists, some of the evening's lustre may have been lost.
However, in modern Hollywood, the credit and the blame need to be shared. Is there an A-lister left who still picks out her own frock? Today the wardrobes of Tinseltown are governed by a small army of stylists.
The rise of the red-carpet stylist dates back barely a decade to a pair of fashion gurus who went head to head to dominate the world's most coveted red carpet. Philip Bloch notably dressed Halle Berry in an Elie Saab flower-embroidered frock in 2002 when she won her Best Actress Oscar for Monster's Ball. The other big name was Jessica Pastor, who was the style queen behind both Kim Basinger and Cate Blanchett.
But these two rulers of the red carpet were victims of their own success and overreached themselves. In a ruthless bid for the best looks they started frockblocking, hoarding the best dresses and sending out big-name gowns on C-listers. Fashion houses took notice and now exert much greater control over their top frocks.
Nonetheless, big-name stylists still secure the best gowns with a combination of schmooze, contacts, bullying, flattery, stamina, and a reputation for peerless dress sense. All of these qualities are necessary to access the world's best dressing-up box supplied by the world's top fashion houses. The reigning top Oscars stylists are a bevy of clued-up ladies: Cristina Ehrlich, Jen Rade, Rachel Zoe and Estee Stanley.
The stylists even have their own style. Ehrlich is a "jeans-wearing workaholic" always going the full nine yards and beyond for her client and noted for her penchant for Paris designers. Her favourite designers are the va-va-voom merchants Giambattista Valli and Azzedine Alaïa and her client list boasts Penélope Cruz and Jessica Biel.
Rade has made a name for herself dressing one half of Hollywood's hottest couple, Angelina Jolie. At the other end of the spectrum she puts together the looks for Pink and Kim Kardashian as well as styling videos for the likes of Marilyn Manson. This is a lady with edge who forages in vintage stores, bargain bins and adds the occasional couture splash.
Stanley offers the full 360-degree style to clients such as the Olsen twins, providing home styling alongside fashion sense. On the side, she has found time to design a lingerie line for Frederick's of Hollywood. Sign with her and expect to end up dressed in fashion royalty: Elie Saab or Oscar de la Renta.
And then, of course, there's Rachel Zoe. Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie put her on the style map and she went on to dominate - sending "Zoebots" past velvet ropes across Los Angeles. If her most recognisable look remains lollipop-lady sporting maxi-dress and giant bag, nowadays she counts Cameron Diaz, Keira Knightley and Anne Hathaway as clients. So fabulous is Zoe that her assistants are already off making names for themselves, notably Tara Swennen who is dressing Miley Cyrus.
The status of the stylist keeps on growing in a world where actresses can be offered upwards of $500,000 (Dh1.8m) to wear a frock to the Oscars.
Says the Los Angeles vintage king Cameron Silver of Decades Inc: "You cannot dispute the power of the stylists; they are the connect between the celebs and the brands. They are so powerful." But it is not all unalloyed glamour: there is a more prosaic function of the stylists. "Celebs don't have the time to grab their stuff; they need someone to go out and get the looks," adds Silver, who has supplied many an Oscars frock.
On a more day-to-day level, red-carpet looks feed those office water cooler moments, especially in Hollywood where frock talk is the new weather. In Los Angeles sensitivities are set to maximum in all areas apart from style, which remains open season for bile and carping. If you flop on the carpet - fatally bitten by a vicious sound bite - expect no sympathy. All manner of ugliness can be unleashed in the face of a bad frock choice.
As a result, a red-carpet hit tastes that much sweeter. Natalie Portman, Michelle Williams, Nicole Kidman and (fingers crossed) Anne Hathaway are likely to be basking in best-dressed list glory this year.
But of course with great hits come great misses. And Björk doesn't count. Neither does Cher. This year, there is so much anticipation as to what Helena Bonham Carter might wear that one can almost hear the claws being sharpened. Whatever the quintessential English rose chooses to rock at this year's ceremony (please HBC, make it matching shoes) we, at least, will applaud her for being one of the few big hitters with the confidence to go her own way. While some might say that there is no better advert for the profession of stylist, surely anyone who has the confidence to stick to a unique style in the face of such scrutiny deserves kudos. For this, perhaps, is the real reason that the stylists have risen to the top of the fash-pack. They perform a key and personal role that is priceless to the big star who is frozen with the fear of a fashion faux pas. There is never a second chance to make a grand entrance, and once the limo door is open there is no turning back. After all, as an A-Lister, who else can you ask: "Does my career look big in this?"
