If you’re in the market for a frankly mental four-door German saloon with relatively compact dimensions, your default choice has perhaps been BMW’s excellent M3, a car that has consistently set the standard for its class on road and track. The latest iteration, which I tested last year, does its heritage proud and – occasional harsh ride aside – is practically flawless. But here, in the form of Mercedes’ latest offering, the C63 AMG S, that recipe for practicality combined with fire-breathing performance has been taken to an altogether new extreme.
It isn’t as immediately handsome as its Bavarian enemy, but there are hints to the fun wrapped up within as soon as you walk towards it and remotely unlock it with a key fob. The LED headlamp elements send different-coloured light streaking through the units as if to say “welcome to the funfair” – it’s completely unnecessary but does make me smile each time it happens. And while the C-Class saloon is always going to look a bit ordinary, there’s no getting away from the AMG telltale design cues of a lowered suspension, beefy alloys, low-profile rubber and exhaust pipes you could fit your head into, if so inclined.
Open the driver’s door and you’re faced with a cabin glorious in its execution. A wide centre console fashioned from highly lacquered carbon fibre with red accents throughout the weave looks incredible and, if you’re into your horology, you’ll immediately notice an IWC clock in its centre. The steering wheel is properly chunky, wrapped in gorgeous, grippy Alcantara and the seats, deep and supportive, are covered in leather that will make your Gucci loafers envious. Everything you see and touch is so perfectly manufactured that you find yourself wondering just how such standards are attained by mere mortals.
And that wonderment continues whenever you start its thumping V8 heart. Every Mercedes-AMG engine is assembled by hand as part of what the company calls its “one man, one engine” philosophy. Each one is traditionally built by an extremely skilled engineer, to the point that they are responsible even for filling it with oil once it’s ready. If you want to know why AMGs command significantly higher prices than normal Mercs, this one little nugget of information should go some way in explaining that.
The 4-litre engine, fitted with two turbochargers, is responsible for generating huge physical forces, so much so that the C-Class structure has had to be reinforced, and additional cooling vents have had to be incorporated in bespoke body panels. Subtle spoilers keep it planted firmly to the driving surface and enormous carbon brakes stop it almost dead in its tracks no matter what speed you’re doing at the time. Make no mistake, this is little more than a heavily disguised super car in which the whole family can be scared witless.
As the motor thunders into life, it quickly settles into a lumpen idle full of serious intent. Get on the power and its note changes with an enormous repertoire, especially in my test car, which is fitted with the optional sports exhaust system that offers a soundtrack so hilariously at odds with its somewhat staid appearance that it seems rude to not have it permanently switched on. In maximum attack mode, it sounds like the world’s loudest and angriest Volkswagen Beetle – I’ve never heard anything quite like it.
Its performance reserves are incredibly deep yet totally exploitable by even amateur drivers unused to such engineering. In traffic it remains benign and friendly, the steering light and the throttle mapping just right so that there’s no fighting its tendency to light up the rear tyres whenever the loud pedal is given a prod. Cornering is flat and confidence-inspiring too, although you need to get on the brakes nice and early for maximum composure, because the likelihood is that you’ll be going too fast before entering a curve, such is the C63 AMG S’s willingness to bend the space/time continuum. It can and does encourage you to be a bit of a hooligan.
The S model I’m testing is right now the ultimate four-door C-Class, offering just a little bit more of everything even when compared to a “normal” C63. The nuances that set them apart might not be immediately detectable, but they are there and mark this car out as extremely special and rare. They also send its price into the stratosphere. If you go a bit mad ticking the options list you could easily spend Dh500,000 and that makes it significantly more expensive than traditional sports cars such as Porsche’s 911.
That’s not to do this Merc a disservice, however, because it offers comparable performance with the benefit of four doors, four full-sized seats and a boot that will swallow almost anything. It’s a car that, in these days when anything with four wheels seems to be getting more and more sanitised, shouldn’t really exist, but the fact that it does should be enough to make even the hardest cynic smile. It’s a superb automobile – one of the finest available at any price.
The specs
Price, base / as tested
Dh365,000 / Dh490,000
Engine
4.0L, twin-turbocharged, V8-cylinder
Gearbox
Seven-speed automatic
Power: 510hp @ 5,500rpm
Torque
700Nm @ 1,750Nm
Fuel economy, combined
8.2L / 100km
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