Once upon a time you would listen to me. I'd want you to. That is my job, I suppose - to gently carve out the rights and wrongs of the modern wardrobe, to keep you all in check.
"Orange it is," I would say.
"I'm there," you would cry.
"Don't over-accessorise," I would warn as you would sheepishly unstack the bangles working their way nicely up your forearm.
But to some extent all these rules I thrash out can appear a little stifling - the suppression of heresy, or of self-expression, perhaps. And that needs addressing, for we must never forget that rules are made to be broken. So although it's possible I am writing myself out of a job with this, it is important.
Wear what you want to wear, not what those who are "in the know" tell you to. Trends are not meant to be literal and have room for interpretation and whim. The advice we dish out so freely should be thought of as more a friendly nudge rather than a direct left hook. So when I screech from the rafters about the pairing of socks and sandals, I hope you know (hard as it is for me to swallow) that you are free to do whatever you choose. Like the value of gold, my advice is worth something only because someone says it is. Interesting trousers are seldom really interesting; they are trousers, after all. It's what you choose to do with them that counts.
Take mixing patterns, for example, the perfect rule to break, because combining graphics, stripes, checks and florals can be brilliant. The trick is to offset smaller, intricately patterned florals with a bolder stripe or check, or to play with unusual colour combinations.
Combining black and navy is another rule that can be a great way to shake things up if challenged, especially if the difference between the two is subtle.
Keeping sequins for evening wear? Who says? I have seen an otherwise boring daytime look turn around after a small injection of shine. Simply remember that less is more. Editing is everything. Cut out anything unnecessary and you may well be left with something unexpectedly dazzling.
Which is exactly my point. While there is no doubt that sticking to a strict set of rules will get you places - and trust me, conformists are reliable, and people like reliability - those who never break the mould will never experience brilliance. Satisfactory, perhaps - maybe even great - but never brilliant.
Remember, fashion doesn't love us; in fact, it doesn't give a toot, so it's up to us to choose our direction. And perhaps accepting that even our own rules are there to be broken is when the whole thing really gets exciting.
M-Ometer
MISSONI FOR TARGET The Italian fashion house's designs for the American retailer are super cool.
SARAH PALIN'S PEDI Why is it that after seeing this we're not as fond of polka dots?
PANTHER PULL This season's jumpers were adorned with all sorts of felines. Our fave is Givenchy's panthers.
NEAR MISS Balenciaga's Nicholas Ghesquire recently said that the now "classic" Lariat bag nearly wasn't going to be produced in 2001. Quelle horreur.
RUMOUR HAS IT That Prada and Miu Miu venue are opening at the end of the month in Saks Fifth Avenue.
COMPANY PROFILE
Company name: Klipit
Started: 2022
Founders: Venkat Reddy, Mohammed Al Bulooki, Bilal Merchant, Asif Ahmed, Ovais Merchant
Based: Dubai, UAE
Industry: Digital receipts, finance, blockchain
Funding: $4 million
Investors: Privately/self-funded
MADAME WEB
Director: S.J. Clarkson
Starring: Dakota Johnson, Tahar Rahim, Sydney Sweeney
Rating: 3.5/5
Fixtures
Wednesday
4.15pm: Japan v Spain (Group A)
5.30pm: UAE v Italy (Group A)
6.45pm: Russia v Mexico (Group B)
8pm: Iran v Egypt (Group B)
Profile of Hala Insurance
Date Started: September 2018
Founders: Walid and Karim Dib
Based: Abu Dhabi
Employees: Nine
Amount raised: $1.2 million
Funders: Oman Technology Fund, AB Accelerator, 500 Startups, private backers
Kill
Director: Nikhil Nagesh Bhat
Starring: Lakshya, Tanya Maniktala, Ashish Vidyarthi, Harsh Chhaya, Raghav Juyal
Rating: 4.5/5
Fixtures
Friday Leganes v Alaves, 10.15pm; Valencia v Las Palmas, 12.15am
Saturday Celta Vigo v Real Sociedad, 8.15pm; Girona v Atletico Madrid, 10.15pm; Sevilla v Espanyol, 12.15am
Sunday Athletic Bilbao v Getafe, 8.15am; Barcelona v Real Betis, 10.15pm; Deportivo v Real Madrid, 12.15am
Monday Levante v Villarreal, 10.15pm; Malaga v Eibar, midnight
EMIRATES'S REVISED A350 DEPLOYMENT SCHEDULE
Edinburgh: November 4 (unchanged)
Bahrain: November 15 (from September 15); second daily service from January 1
Kuwait: November 15 (from September 16)
Mumbai: January 1 (from October 27)
Ahmedabad: January 1 (from October 27)
Colombo: January 2 (from January 1)
Muscat: March 1 (from December 1)
Lyon: March 1 (from December 1)
Bologna: March 1 (from December 1)
Source: Emirates
Company profile
Name: Pyppl
Established: 2017
Founders: Antti Arponen and Phil Reynolds
Based: UAE
Sector: financial services
Investment: $18.5 million
Employees: 150
Funding stage: series A, closed in 2021
Investors: venture capital companies, international funds, family offices, high-net-worth individuals
Company profile
Company name: Fasset
Started: 2019
Founders: Mohammad Raafi Hossain, Daniel Ahmed
Based: Dubai
Sector: FinTech
Initial investment: $2.45 million
Current number of staff: 86
Investment stage: Pre-series B
Investors: Investcorp, Liberty City Ventures, Fatima Gobi Ventures, Primal Capital, Wealthwell Ventures, FHS Capital, VN2 Capital, local family offices
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Director: Nag Ashwin
Starring: Prabhas, Saswata Chatterjee, Deepika Padukone, Amitabh Bachchan, Shobhana
Rating: ★★★★
PRO BASH
Thursday’s fixtures
6pm: Hyderabad Nawabs v Pakhtoon Warriors
10pm: Lahore Sikandars v Pakhtoon Blasters
Teams
Chennai Knights, Lahore Sikandars, Pakhtoon Blasters, Abu Dhabi Stars, Abu Dhabi Dragons, Pakhtoon Warriors and Hyderabad Nawabs.
Squad rules
All teams consist of 15-player squads that include those contracted in the diamond (3), platinum (2) and gold (2) categories, plus eight free to sign team members.
Tournament rules
The matches are of 25 over-a-side with an 8-over power play in which only two fielders allowed outside the 30-yard circle. Teams play in a single round robin league followed by the semi-finals and final. The league toppers will feature in the semi-final eliminator.
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl, 48V hybrid
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Power: 325bhp
Torque: 450Nm
Price: Dh359,000
On sale: now
COMPANY PROFILE
Company name: Alaan
Started: 2021
Based: Dubai
Founders: Parthi Duraisamy and Karun Kurien
Sector: FinTech
Investment stage: $7 million raised in total — $2.5 million in a seed round and $4.5 million in a pre-series A round
Company Profile
Company name: Cargoz
Date started: January 2022
Founders: Premlal Pullisserry and Lijo Antony
Based: Dubai
Number of staff: 30
Investment stage: Seed