Food critics at their most caustic

Bitter Feast, the film that shows a chef extracting rather bloody revenge on the food blogger who penned a vitriolic review of his restaurant, has so far met with rather mixed reviews itself. Unsurprisingly, the relationship between restaurant critic and chef has never been a harmonious one. Here, food writers sound off.

Take Five... Matthew Norman

"The herb crust (with the cod) could have been adapted, with minimal effort, for use in germ warfare." The writer didn't enjoy his main course at Almeida, London.

Take Four... Frank Bruni

"A duck-and-eel terrine in a chocolate consommé tastes like cat food splashed with Yoo-Hoo." A decidedly disappointing dish for Bruni at New York's Tailor restaurant.

Take Three... Jay Raynor

"Such grievous bodily harm upon a lovely little sea bream really ought to carry with it some form of judicial penalty." Raynor is saddened to think that the fish he was served at The Corinthian, Glasgow died in vain.

Take Two... Giles Coren

"I'd have guessed I was eating thin strips of mole poached in Ovaltine." Coren is far from impressed with the pollo marsala at Goodfellas in Belfast.

Take One... AA Gill

Gill weighs in on the food at The Langley: "Slow-baked-cheese-and-onion tart-snot in a box. Grilled kipper-smoked postman's Odour Eater. Battered saveloy, a thing only specialist medical staff handle, with rubber gloves."