A minor injury is one way for a teen to get a little attention



As a species, teenagers don't get much attention. The world seems to regard them as malevolent creatures who are rarely seen, hidden behind their phones or usually gone to a place called "out".

It's quite a pleasant change to have everyone fussing over you all of a sudden, as I did when I went off and bust my chin last week. I have found the "poor, sick, wounded child" state a very agreeable one, with every feeble requirement, like some extra pocket money and an extended curfew, hastily fulfilled.

It all started when we were in the little hideout that we use during breaks, the singular place in school unfrequented by teachers or anyone else. I was chasing a certain someone who had stolen my shoe. (Sadly, even we teens are given to moments of extreme immaturity). When this person dropped my shoe, I found the only sensible course of action was to nosedive for it, which resulted in me regaining possession of my footwear but also losing copious amounts of blood from a gash I received to my chin.

A panicked gaggle of friends very sweetly escorted me to the nurse, while some (and this was great) mopped up the blood on the floor with tissues. It was a comical sight. The school nurse shook her head when we arrived and didn't seem particularly affected when we pointed, slightly obviously, to the bloody chin and explained what had happened. My poor, anxious friends were shooed out dismissively, and the nurse muttered something about "clucking" and "mother hens" that I didn't quite catch. After sticking on a temporary plaster, she made the cheerful prediction that I would be left with a gaping scar across my face unless I got some stitches on it pronto. The stitches meaning I would be left with only a small scar.

"The face is quite an important feature," she murmured thoughtfully, prodding the plaster, "so you'll have to go to hospital as quickly as you can." I fully agreed with her on this fact. Not least because the next classes were biology and physics. About half an hour later, I was sitting pathetically in Welcare Ambulatory hospital, the nearest one to school, Mum painstakingly filling out forms. In the dressing room, the doctor and nurse shook their heads at me. "And just how many days has it been since school started?" asked the doctor, swabbing on antiseptic. Quite a few, actually, in my defence, but he found the whole tale hilarious for some reason. It seems that business is back to booming again now that the academic year is underway. I always knew that school is injurious to health.

The doctor, to distract me, kept a steady stream of chatter going as he injected some local anaesthestic and poked me with a pin to make sure it was working. I thought it all very cool and wanted to try poking my chin myself with the pin. I couldn't, though, because I was told my hands were grubby and swarming with pathogens, which is not true. By the time all the stitches were in place, I knew everything there is to know about how the nervous system works and potassium and sodium atoms changing into ions on neurons and so on. Or it might be ions changing into atoms, I can't remember, but I did feel exceedingly clever just then.

Mum, who was watching worriedly, seemed much more sympathetic than usual. I made use of the opportunity to tell her that I had lost my specification scientific calculator a few days ago and could I please borrow a few hundred dirhams to get another one? I love the effect a teeny cut can have on the hardest of adults. The get-well soon Facebook messages and calls have been pouring in, I'm off PE sessions and it's all faultlessly satisfying. It's just that our head of year told us that the hideout we had been using to eat our lunches is now out-of-bounds. Apparently, "some silly Year 7 tripped there and blew up her head or something". Some silly Year 7. I like that.

The writer is a 15-year-old student in Dubai.

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Our legal columnist

Name: Yousef Al Bahar

Advocate at Al Bahar & Associate Advocates and Legal Consultants, established in 1994

Education: Mr Al Bahar was born in 1979 and graduated in 2008 from the Judicial Institute. He took after his father, who was one of the first Emirati lawyers

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The Penguin

Starring: Colin Farrell, Cristin Milioti, Rhenzy Feliz

Creator: Lauren LeFranc

Rating: 4/5

The Buckingham Murders

Starring: Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ash Tandon, Prabhleen Sandhu

Director: Hansal Mehta

Rating: 4 / 5

Movie: Saheb, Biwi aur Gangster 3

Producer: JAR Films

Director: Tigmanshu Dhulia

Cast: Sanjay Dutt, Jimmy Sheirgill, Mahie Gill, Chitrangda Singh, Kabir Bedi

Rating: 3 star

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How to protect yourself when air quality drops

Install an air filter in your home.

Close your windows and turn on the AC.

Shower or bath after being outside.

Wear a face mask.

Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.

If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.

What to watch out for:

Algae, waste coffee grounds and orange peels will be used in the pavilion's walls and gangways

The hulls of three ships will be used for the roof

The hulls will painted to make the largest Italian tricolour in the country’s history

Several pillars more than 20 metres high will support the structure

Roughly 15 tonnes of steel will be used

Dubai World Cup prize money

Group 1 (Purebred Arabian) 2000m Dubai Kahayla Classic - $750,000
Group 2 1,600m(Dirt) Godolphin Mile - $750,000
Group 2 3,200m (Turf) Dubai Gold Cup – $750,000
Group 1 1,200m (Turf) Al Quoz Sprint – $1,000,000
Group 2 1,900m(Dirt) UAE Derby – $750,000
Group 1 1,200m (Dirt) Dubai Golden Shaheen – $1,500,000
Group 1 1,800m (Turf) Dubai Turf –  $4,000,000
Group 1 2,410m (Turf) Dubai Sheema Classic – $5,000,000
Group 1 2,000m (Dirt) Dubai World Cup– $12,000,000

RACE SCHEDULE

All times UAE ( 4 GMT)

Friday, September 29
First practice: 7am - 8.30am
Second practice: 11am - 12.30pm

Saturday, September 30
Qualifying: 1pm - 2pm

Sunday, October 1
Race: 11am - 1pm

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The biog

Hometown: Cairo

Age: 37

Favourite TV series: The Handmaid’s Tale, Black Mirror

Favourite anime series: Death Note, One Piece and Hellsing

Favourite book: Designing Brand Identity, Fifth Edition

THE BIO: Martin Van Almsick

Hometown: Cologne, Germany

Family: Wife Hanan Ahmed and their three children, Marrah (23), Tibijan (19), Amon (13)

Favourite dessert: Umm Ali with dark camel milk chocolate flakes

Favourite hobby: Football

Breakfast routine: a tall glass of camel milk

TRAP

Starring: Josh Hartnett, Saleka Shyamalan, Ariel Donaghue

Director: M Night Shyamalan

Rating: 3/5

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Starring: Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Jack Reynor

Creator: Jenna Lamia

Rating: 3/5

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COMPANY PROFILE

Company name: Happy Tenant

Started: January 2019

Co-founders: Joe Moufarrej and Umar Rana

Based: Dubai

Sector: Technology, real-estate

Initial investment: Dh2.5 million

Investors: Self-funded

Total customers: 4,000

The specs
Engine: Long-range single or dual motor with 200kW or 400kW battery
Power: 268bhp / 536bhp
Torque: 343Nm / 686Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Max touring range: 620km / 590km
Price: From Dh250,000 (estimated)
On sale: Later this year
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