As a species, teenagers don't get much attention. The world seems to regard them as malevolent creatures who are rarely seen, hidden behind their phones or usually gone to a place called "out".
It's quite a pleasant change to have everyone fussing over you all of a sudden, as I did when I went off and bust my chin last week. I have found the "poor, sick, wounded child" state a very agreeable one, with every feeble requirement, like some extra pocket money and an extended curfew, hastily fulfilled.
It all started when we were in the little hideout that we use during breaks, the singular place in school unfrequented by teachers or anyone else. I was chasing a certain someone who had stolen my shoe. (Sadly, even we teens are given to moments of extreme immaturity). When this person dropped my shoe, I found the only sensible course of action was to nosedive for it, which resulted in me regaining possession of my footwear but also losing copious amounts of blood from a gash I received to my chin.
A panicked gaggle of friends very sweetly escorted me to the nurse, while some (and this was great) mopped up the blood on the floor with tissues. It was a comical sight. The school nurse shook her head when we arrived and didn't seem particularly affected when we pointed, slightly obviously, to the bloody chin and explained what had happened. My poor, anxious friends were shooed out dismissively, and the nurse muttered something about "clucking" and "mother hens" that I didn't quite catch. After sticking on a temporary plaster, she made the cheerful prediction that I would be left with a gaping scar across my face unless I got some stitches on it pronto. The stitches meaning I would be left with only a small scar.
"The face is quite an important feature," she murmured thoughtfully, prodding the plaster, "so you'll have to go to hospital as quickly as you can." I fully agreed with her on this fact. Not least because the next classes were biology and physics. About half an hour later, I was sitting pathetically in Welcare Ambulatory hospital, the nearest one to school, Mum painstakingly filling out forms. In the dressing room, the doctor and nurse shook their heads at me. "And just how many days has it been since school started?" asked the doctor, swabbing on antiseptic. Quite a few, actually, in my defence, but he found the whole tale hilarious for some reason. It seems that business is back to booming again now that the academic year is underway. I always knew that school is injurious to health.
The doctor, to distract me, kept a steady stream of chatter going as he injected some local anaesthestic and poked me with a pin to make sure it was working. I thought it all very cool and wanted to try poking my chin myself with the pin. I couldn't, though, because I was told my hands were grubby and swarming with pathogens, which is not true. By the time all the stitches were in place, I knew everything there is to know about how the nervous system works and potassium and sodium atoms changing into ions on neurons and so on. Or it might be ions changing into atoms, I can't remember, but I did feel exceedingly clever just then.
Mum, who was watching worriedly, seemed much more sympathetic than usual. I made use of the opportunity to tell her that I had lost my specification scientific calculator a few days ago and could I please borrow a few hundred dirhams to get another one? I love the effect a teeny cut can have on the hardest of adults. The get-well soon Facebook messages and calls have been pouring in, I'm off PE sessions and it's all faultlessly satisfying. It's just that our head of year told us that the hideout we had been using to eat our lunches is now out-of-bounds. Apparently, "some silly Year 7 tripped there and blew up her head or something". Some silly Year 7. I like that.
The writer is a 15-year-old student in Dubai.
THE SPECS
Engine: 6.75-litre twin-turbocharged V12 petrol engine
Power: 420kW
Torque: 780Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh1,350,000
On sale: Available for preorder now
Zayed Sustainability Prize
Barbie
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Labour dispute
The insured employee may still file an ILOE claim even if a labour dispute is ongoing post termination, but the insurer may suspend or reject payment, until the courts resolve the dispute, especially if the reason for termination is contested. The outcome of the labour court proceedings can directly affect eligibility.
- Abdullah Ishnaneh, Partner, BSA Law
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-finals, first leg
Liverpool v Roma
When: April 24, 10.45pm kick-off (UAE)
Where: Anfield, Liverpool
Live: BeIN Sports HD
Second leg: May 2, Stadio Olimpico, Rome
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
MOUNTAINHEAD REVIEW
Starring: Ramy Youssef, Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman
Director: Jesse Armstrong
Rating: 3.5/5
Company profile
Date started: 2015
Founder: John Tsioris and Ioanna Angelidaki
Based: Dubai
Sector: Online grocery delivery
Staff: 200
Funding: Undisclosed, but investors include the Jabbar Internet Group and Venture Friends
Huddersfield Town permanent signings:
- Steve Mounie (striker): signed from Montpellier for £11 million
- Tom Ince (winger): signed from Derby County for £7.7m
- Aaron Mooy (midfielder): signed from Manchester City for £7.7m
- Laurent Depoitre (striker): signed from Porto for £3.4m
- Scott Malone (defender): signed from Fulham for £3.3m
- Zanka (defender): signed from Copenhagen for £2.3m
- Elias Kachunga (winger): signed for Ingolstadt for £1.1m
- Danny WIlliams (midfielder): signed from Reading on a free transfer
MATCH INFO
Norwich 0
Watford 2 (Deulofeu 2', Gray 52')
Red card: Christian Kabasele (WatforD)
Specs
Engine: Dual-motor all-wheel-drive electric
Range: Up to 610km
Power: 905hp
Torque: 985Nm
Price: From Dh439,000
Available: Now
ACL Elite (West) - fixtures
Monday, Sept 30
Al Sadd v Esteghlal (8pm)
Persepolis v Pakhtakor (8pm)
Al Wasl v Al Ahli (8pm)
Al Nassr v Al Rayyan (10pm)
Tuesday, Oct 1
Al Hilal v Al Shorta (10pm)
Al Gharafa v Al Ain (10pm)
Company Profile:
Name: The Protein Bakeshop
Date of start: 2013
Founders: Rashi Chowdhary and Saad Umerani
Based: Dubai
Size, number of employees: 12
Funding/investors: $400,000 (2018)
THREE POSSIBLE REPLACEMENTS
Khalfan Mubarak
The Al Jazira playmaker has for some time been tipped for stardom within UAE football, with Quique Sanchez Flores, his former manager at Al Ahli, once labelling him a “genius”. He was only 17. Now 23, Mubarak has developed into a crafty supplier of chances, evidenced by his seven assists in six league matches this season. Still to display his class at international level, though.
Rayan Yaslam
The Al Ain attacking midfielder has become a regular starter for his club in the past 15 months. Yaslam, 23, is a tidy and intelligent player, technically proficient with an eye for opening up defences. Developed while alongside Abdulrahman in the Al Ain first-team and has progressed well since manager Zoran Mamic’s arrival. However, made his UAE debut only last December.
Ismail Matar
The Al Wahda forward is revered by teammates and a key contributor to the squad. At 35, his best days are behind him, but Matar is incredibly experienced and an example to his colleagues. His ability to cope with tournament football is a concern, though, despite Matar beginning the season well. Not a like-for-like replacement, although the system could be adjusted to suit.
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
More on animal trafficking
Zayed Sustainability Prize
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