In spite of the pictures and messages and phone calls and videos, I can’t help but feel I am missing out on my niece and nephew's formative years  
In spite of the pictures and messages and phone calls and videos, I can’t help but feel I am missing out on my niece and nephew's formative years  

Missing out on milestone events in the lives of family and friends. Is this the real expat tax?



My brother and his wife welcomed a baby daughter into the world last week. As far as I can tell, my new niece has inherited my nose, which brings me untold joy given that my brother spent a significant part of our childhood making fun of my not insubstantial proboscis. Landmark moments in her life so far (ie the first time she yawned) are being dutifully chronicled and then passed from one member of the Denman clan to another via WhatsApp. This means that family members in Cyprus, Dubai, Kenya and further afield can all feel like they are part of the action unfolding in the quiet London suburb that my brother and his expanding family call home. 

All the same, in spite of the pictures and messages and phone calls and videos, I can’t help but feel like I am missing out. I will meet my niece as soon as the family has settled into some kind of a routine, but it is at times like these that being an expat is most difficult – when the big events occur and you are not around to witness them first-hand. One of my colleagues knowingly refers to it as “the expat tax”, the price you pay for living away from home. It is a fair exchange for the opportunities that being in the UAE has afforded me, but I still wish I could have seen that yawn in real time. 

I started paying the expat tax early on. A couple of weeks after I moved to Dubai, one of my closest friends got married. I wasn’t there. There have been plenty of other events along the way – weddings, birthdays and other milestone celebrations – that I couldn’t make it back for. I wasn’t there when our family dog passed away or when my mother had emergency knee-replacement surgery. Of course, there are countless events that I did attend, but it is human nature to focus on the ones you’ve missed. 

Things have become even harder since children were introduced into the mix. Old friendships and close family relationships can survive long bouts of separation – if they are strong enough, ties can easily be renewed, even if you see someone only a couple of times a year. But forging relationships with little ones – my nephew for example, who is now three and a half, or my god-daughter, who is five – requires a more sustained, consistent approach. Every time I see my nephew, it feels like we are starting from scratch; trust needs to be renewed and fresh memories need to be formed. He understands on some level that I am important, but I’m a stranger all the same. Foundations need to be reinforced over and over again. 

I have been known to overcompensate. For one of my god-daughter's birthdays, I realised that I had left it too late to post a present from Dubai to London and so, in a mild state of panic, I ordered an oversized reproduction of the Frozen ice castle from Harrods, purely because it offered next-day delivery. "Dude, who buys a three-year-old a present from Harrods?!" was the message I received from the birthday girl's mother the following day. "I fear you may have been living in Dubai too long!"

Maybe that’s the real expat tax – overpriced Disney castles to try to make up for one’s absence.

_____________________

Read more of Selina's thoughts:

Beach holidays: a major bore or the ultimate escape? I'm about to find out

The eternal quest for the perfect work-life balance

Paying tribute to the extraordinary life of my dad, the ultimate expat

Why eating meat makes me feel like a hypocrite

Phone etiquette? I need some guidelines please

After a decade, Dubai feels like it has come of age

____________________

How they line up for Sunday's Australian Grand Prix

1 Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes

2 Kimi Raikkonen, Ferrari

3 Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari

4 Max Verstappen, Red Bull

5 Kevin Magnussen, Haas

6 Romain Grosjean, Haas

7 Nico Hulkenberg, Renault

*8 Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull

9 Carlos Sainz, Renault

10 Valtteri Bottas, Mercedes

11 Fernando Alonso, McLaren

12 Stoffel Vandoorne, McLaren

13 Sergio Perez, Force India

14 Lance Stroll, Williams

15 Esteban Ocon, Force India

16 Brendon Hartley, Toro Rosso

17 Marcus Ericsson, Sauber

18 Charles Leclerc, Sauber

19 Sergey Sirotkin, Williams

20 Pierre Gasly, Toro Rosso

* Daniel Ricciardo qualified fifth but had a three-place grid penalty for speeding in red flag conditions during practice

Review: Tomb Raider
Dir: Roar Uthaug
Starring: Alicia Vikander, Dominic West, Daniel Wu, Walter Goggins
​​​​​​​two stars

BACK%20TO%20ALEXANDRIA
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ETamer%20Ruggli%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENadine%20Labaki%2C%20Fanny%20Ardant%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E3.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A

A Cat, A Man, and Two Women
Junichiro
Tamizaki
Translated by Paul McCarthy
Daunt Books 

Things Heard & Seen

Directed by: Shari Springer Berman, Robert Pulcini

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, James Norton

2/5

The smuggler

Eldarir had arrived at JFK in January 2020 with three suitcases, containing goods he valued at $300, when he was directed to a search area.
Officers found 41 gold artefacts among the bags, including amulets from a funerary set which prepared the deceased for the afterlife.
Also found was a cartouche of a Ptolemaic king on a relief that was originally part of a royal building or temple. 
The largest single group of items found in Eldarir’s cases were 400 shabtis, or figurines.

Khouli conviction

Khouli smuggled items into the US by making false declarations to customs about the country of origin and value of the items.
According to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, he provided “false provenances which stated that [two] Egyptian antiquities were part of a collection assembled by Khouli's father in Israel in the 1960s” when in fact “Khouli acquired the Egyptian antiquities from other dealers”.
He was sentenced to one year of probation, six months of home confinement and 200 hours of community service in 2012 after admitting buying and smuggling Egyptian antiquities, including coffins, funerary boats and limestone figures.

For sale

A number of other items said to come from the collection of Ezeldeen Taha Eldarir are currently or recently for sale.
Their provenance is described in near identical terms as the British Museum shabti: bought from Salahaddin Sirmali, "authenticated and appraised" by Hossen Rashed, then imported to the US in 1948.

- An Egyptian Mummy mask dating from 700BC-30BC, is on offer for £11,807 ($15,275) online by a seller in Mexico

- A coffin lid dating back to 664BC-332BC was offered for sale by a Colorado-based art dealer, with a starting price of $65,000

- A shabti that was on sale through a Chicago-based coin dealer, dating from 1567BC-1085BC, is up for $1,950

A MINECRAFT MOVIE

Director: Jared Hess

Starring: Jack Black, Jennifer Coolidge, Jason Momoa

Rating: 3/5

History's medical milestones

1799 - First small pox vaccine administered

1846 - First public demonstration of anaesthesia in surgery

1861 - Louis Pasteur published his germ theory which proved that bacteria caused diseases

1895 - Discovery of x-rays

1923 - Heart valve surgery performed successfully for first time

1928 - Alexander Fleming discovers penicillin

1953 - Structure of DNA discovered

1952 - First organ transplant - a kidney - takes place 

1954 - Clinical trials of birth control pill

1979 - MRI, or magnetic resonance imaging, scanned used to diagnose illness and injury.

1998 - The first adult live-donor liver transplant is carried out

The biog

Name: Greg Heinricks

From: Alberta, western Canada

Record fish: 56kg sailfish

Member of: International Game Fish Association

Company: Arabian Divers and Sportfishing Charters

The Brutalist

Director: Brady Corbet

Stars: Adrien Brody, Felicity Jones, Guy Pearce, Joe Alwyn

Rating: 3.5/5

In numbers: PKK’s money network in Europe

Germany: PKK collectors typically bring in $18 million in cash a year – amount has trebled since 2010

Revolutionary tax: Investigators say about $2 million a year raised from ‘tax collection’ around Marseille

Extortion: Gunman convicted in 2023 of demanding $10,000 from Kurdish businessman in Stockholm

Drug trade: PKK income claimed by Turkish anti-drugs force in 2024 to be as high as $500 million a year

Denmark: PKK one of two terrorist groups along with Iranian separatists ASMLA to raise “two-digit million amounts”

Contributions: Hundreds of euros expected from typical Kurdish families and thousands from business owners

TV channel: Kurdish Roj TV accounts frozen and went bankrupt after Denmark fined it more than $1 million over PKK links in 2013 

Profile of Tamatem

Date started: March 2013

Founder: Hussam Hammo

Based: Amman, Jordan

Employees: 55

Funding: $6m

Funders: Wamda Capital, Modern Electronics (part of Al Falaisah Group) and North Base Media

NO OTHER LAND

Director: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham, Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal

Stars: Basel Adra, Yuval Abraham

Rating: 3.5/5

2019 Asian Cup final

Japan v Qatar
Friday, 6pm
Zayed Sports City Stadium, Abu Dhabi

Ms Yang's top tips for parents new to the UAE
  1. Join parent networks
  2. Look beyond school fees
  3. Keep an open mind
The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre flat-six
Power: 510hp at 9,000rpm
Torque: 450Nm at 6,100rpm
Transmission: 7-speed PDK auto or 6-speed manual
Fuel economy, combined: 13.8L/100km
On sale: Available to order now
Price: From Dh801,800
Specs

Engine: Duel electric motors
Power: 659hp
Torque: 1075Nm
On sale: Available for pre-order now
Price: On request

RIDE%20ON
%3Cp%3EDirector%3A%20Larry%20Yang%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EStars%3A%20Jackie%20Chan%2C%20Liu%20Haocun%2C%20Kevin%20Guo%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ERating%3A%202%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Skewed figures

In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458. 

Key facilities
  • Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
  • Premier League-standard football pitch
  • 400m Olympic running track
  • NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
  • 600-seat auditorium
  • Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
  • An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
  • Specialist robotics and science laboratories
  • AR and VR-enabled learning centres
  • Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills