'It's a girl': do we really need to categorise, and often commodify, our children before they even enter this world? Unsplash
'It's a girl': do we really need to categorise, and often commodify, our children before they even enter this world? Unsplash
'It's a girl': do we really need to categorise, and often commodify, our children before they even enter this world? Unsplash
'It's a girl': do we really need to categorise, and often commodify, our children before they even enter this world? Unsplash

As a mum, here are three reasons I'd never have a gender reveal party ...


Samia Badih
  • English
  • Arabic

Earlier this month, a gender reveal party went horribly wrong in California. A smoke-generating device used during the party sparked a fire that grew out of control, spreading across more than 4,000 hectares and leading to evacuations.

And then, last week, Burj Khalifa, the world's tallest tower, hosted the "biggest" gender reveal party in Dubai. Influencers Anas and Asala Marwah, who run the YouTube channel Anasala Family, shared a 15-minute video showing themselves finding out the gender of their unborn child as the words "it's a boy" flashed on a blue background across the tower in front of crowds ... and cameras. This felt like a remarkably out-of-touch move as the world battles the coronavirus, Beirut stumbles as it tries to rebuild and conflicts rage on in the region.

Both these "reveals", which were obviously very different situations, started conversations about the popularity of the trend and its perceived and very real downsides.

Here are some of them ...

Why does it matter if it's a boy or a girl?

I'm a mother of three and have never wanted a gender reveal party. Of course it's exciting to find out which gender your child will be, but at the "gender reveal" stage of pregnancy, the most important thing is that your baby is healthy.

It is a guessing game that focuses on one of two options: in a perfect world, parents should be equally happy about either of those, but a gender reveal party is simply another form of gender stereotyping.

The 'pink' or 'blue' gender reveal party plays into stereotypes before a child is even born

We associate pink with girls and princesses and blue with boys and princes, but we need to stop placing our children in these boxes of colour. We're all probably guilty of gender stereotyping in some form, but we need to do better.

Gender stereotyping can limit our children's aspirations and ambitions. When you ask someone to think of a nurse, they think of a woman, not a man, or when you ask someone to think of a doctor, they think of a man. Conversely, a little boy who grows up dreaming of being a ballet dancer, will find little inspiration specific to him in the toys and activities around him.

The pink or blue gender reveal party plays into these stereotypes before a child is even born. All children, no matter their gender, can be nurses or doctors; and they can love pink and blue, or hate both and prefer purple.

It's social pressure in its truest form

A gender reveal, like engagement parties, hen dos, honeymoons and baby showers, all put social pressure on parents to have the perfect Instagram life, and to spend money in the process.

In the performative age of social media, it can feel like everything, no matter how personal, has to be over-the-top, planned, photographed and caught on tape. If there isn't a photo of him on one knee, did he really propose?

A gender reveal party is no different. Sure, being with family may make the moment more special, but does finding out your baby's gender while surrounded with props for Instagram actually increase the joy of the moment? Probably not.

Even the woman who is believed to have started the phenomenon a little over a decade ago has recently condemned the rise of big and flashy gender reveal parties.

Children are not and should not be used as content to build a social media profile

Today, most people are content creators, and many walk around calling themselves as such. However, there is a very important discussion to be had about the ethics of using children, in this case your unborn child, to build your social media following, and often to make money.

At one point in the Anasala family video, Asala tells her 7.3 million followers: "I am trying my best to give content that no one has ever seen before."

But what does content really mean here? How is informing the world about what gender your child will be prescribed at birth content?

Children should not be content for your YouTube channel or Instagram feed. They are not of age to give consent to be on screen, often as advertisements disguised as content.

Being a parent is a responsibility and children should be protected, not exploited.

The flights: South African Airways flies from Dubai International Airport with a stop in Johannesburg, with prices starting from around Dh4,000 return. Emirates can get you there with a stop in Lusaka from around Dh4,600 return.
The details: Visas are available for 247 Zambian kwacha or US$20 (Dh73) per person on arrival at Livingstone Airport. Single entry into Victoria Falls for international visitors costs 371 kwacha or $30 (Dh110). Microlight flights are available through Batoka Sky, with 15-minute flights costing 2,265 kwacha (Dh680).
Accommodation: The Royal Livingstone Victoria Falls Hotel by Anantara is an ideal place to stay, within walking distance of the falls and right on the Zambezi River. Rooms here start from 6,635 kwacha (Dh2,398) per night, including breakfast, taxes and Wi-Fi. Water arrivals cost from 587 kwacha (Dh212) per person.

The biog

Name: Mariam Ketait

Emirate: Dubai

Hobbies: I enjoy travelling, experiencing new things, painting, reading, flying, and the French language

Favourite quote: "Be the change you wish to see" - unknown

Favourite activity: Connecting with different cultures

What is type-1 diabetes

Type 1 diabetes is a genetic and unavoidable condition, rather than the lifestyle-related type 2 diabetes.

It occurs mostly in people under 40 and a result of the pancreas failing to produce enough insulin to regulate blood sugars.

Too much or too little blood sugar can result in an attack where sufferers lose consciousness in serious cases.

Being overweight or obese increases the chances of developing the more common type 2 diabetes.

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Your rights as an employee

The government has taken an increasingly tough line against companies that fail to pay employees on time. Three years ago, the Cabinet passed a decree allowing the government to halt the granting of work permits to companies with wage backlogs.

The new measures passed by the Cabinet in 2016 were an update to the Wage Protection System, which is in place to track whether a company pays its employees on time or not.

If wages are 10 days late, the new measures kick in and the company is alerted it is in breach of labour rules. If wages remain unpaid for a total of 16 days, the authorities can cancel work permits, effectively shutting off operations. Fines of up to Dh5,000 per unpaid employee follow after 60 days.

Despite those measures, late payments remain an issue, particularly in the construction sector. Smaller contractors, such as electrical, plumbing and fit-out businesses, often blame the bigger companies that hire them for wages being late.

The authorities have urged employees to report their companies at the labour ministry or Tawafuq service centres — there are 15 in Abu Dhabi.

The nine articles of the 50-Year Charter

1. Dubai silk road

2.  A geo-economic map for Dubai

3. First virtual commercial city

4. A central education file for every citizen

5. A doctor to every citizen

6. Free economic and creative zones in universities

7. Self-sufficiency in Dubai homes

8. Co-operative companies in various sectors

­9: Annual growth in philanthropy

The President's Cake

Director: Hasan Hadi

Starring: Baneen Ahmad Nayyef, Waheed Thabet Khreibat, Sajad Mohamad Qasem 

Rating: 4/5

RESULTS
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Moon Music

Artist: Coldplay

Label: Parlophone/Atlantic

Number of tracks: 10

Rating: 3/5

MATCH INFO

Uefa Champions League quarter-final, second leg (first-leg score):

Manchester City (0) v Tottenham Hotspur (1), Wednesday, 11pm UAE

Match is on BeIN Sports

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
 
Started: 2020
 
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
 
Based: Dubai, UAE
 
Sector: Entertainment 
 
Number of staff: 210 
 
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
UAE squad

Humaira Tasneem (c), Chamani Senevirathne (vc), Subha Srinivasan, NIsha Ali, Udeni Kuruppuarachchi, Chaya Mughal, Roopa Nagraj, Esha Oza, Ishani Senevirathne, Heena Hotchandani, Keveesha Kumari, Judith Cleetus, Chavi Bhatt, Namita D’Souza.

The Saga Continues

Wu-Tang Clan

(36 Chambers / Entertainment One)

Quick pearls of wisdom

Focus on gratitude: And do so deeply, he says. “Think of one to three things a day that you’re grateful for. It needs to be specific, too, don’t just say ‘air.’ Really think about it. If you’re grateful for, say, what your parents have done for you, that will motivate you to do more for the world.”

Know how to fight: Shetty married his wife, Radhi, three years ago (he met her in a meditation class before he went off and became a monk). He says they’ve had to learn to respect each other’s “fighting styles” – he’s a talk it-out-immediately person, while she needs space to think. “When you’re having an argument, remember, it’s not you against each other. It’s both of you against the problem. When you win, they lose. If you’re on a team you have to win together.” 

Mrs%20Chatterjee%20Vs%20Norway
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