I'm American, but it's my 10-year friendship with a Palestinian that taught me empathy

Close friends Evelyn Lau, left, and Juman have known each other for a decade. Evelyn Lau / The National

The older I get, the more I realise my close circle of friends has grown smaller. During my university years, I was more extroverted and enjoyed being around many people. However, as I navigate my thirties, I find myself preferring smaller and quieter gatherings.

One of the biggest changes I've made in the past decade has been moving to the UAE from Boston in 2014. When I decided to move, I didn't know anyone in the country, which felt scary but also exciting. It was truly a fresh start in every sense.

I never realised how much I was missing out until I moved to the UAE, a country that is home to more than 200 nationalities. This isn't to say I wasn't accustomed to different cultures, as a Chinese-American navigating between the two. However, moving to a place with so many people from different walks of life coming together has been an eye-opener.

Living in Abu Dhabi has given me countless opportunities to immerse myself in new experiences. From learning about various cuisines, such as Ethiopian or South African, to observing Ramadan and having iftar with friends, I am grateful for it all. Each experience has broadened my understanding and appreciation of different cultures, something I hadn't deeply explored while in the US.

However, it's my relationship with my friend Juman, who is Palestinian, that has really changed my perspective. As the world observes International Friendship Day on July 30, I want to reflect on how our friendship has changed me. She was one of the first friends I made in Abu Dhabi and someone I bonded with instantly. Our personalities mesh well, and we share a lot of the same core beliefs, which has only strengthened our friendship in the past 10 years.

Juman and Evelyn in Abu Dhabi in 2015. Evelyn Lau / The National

Juman is someone I have grown to consider one of my closest friends. We’ve celebrated milestones such as birthdays and weddings together, and we know each other’s families (which says a lot considering mine lives in the US). She is incredibly compassionate, always going out of her way to support those around her, and her genuine kindness shines through in everything she does.

As cliched as it sounds, she’s always been there for me when I needed her, so it only makes sense that when the Israel-Gaza war broke out, I felt a strong need to be there for her.

I was surprised – and somewhat disappointed – by the silence from my friends in the US when the war began. I decided to learn more about the Palestinian cause, hoping I would be able to share what I discovered with others. In the past nine months, I’ve tried to use my voice on social media to pass on information about Palestine or simply wear clothing or accessories to show my support.

After all, I have experienced first-hand how, in the US, things are often seen in black and white, and how not every side is always presented fairly.

Juman and Evelyn discovering Abu Dhabi while playing Pokemon Go in 2016. Evelyn Lau / The National

One example that comes to mind is the Iraq War in 2003, which began when I had just started high school. More than two decades later, I can reflect on why I didn’t care more and, more upsetting to me, why I wasn't given the information to understand the full impact of what was happening at the time.

Back then, the war seemed so distant, and I had no ties to anyone or anything in the region. I went on with my life, even though so many others were affected in devastating ways. In retrospect, this experience has made me realise the importance of not only staying informed but also cultivating empathy during global crises, even if we believe we have no personal stake in them.

I refuse to make the same mistake I did back then with what is happening now. Although I feel more personally connected to the Gaza war because of my friendship with Juman and several other Palestinians I've met while living in the UAE, I also believe it is the right thing to do. After all, I know if the roles were reversed, she would do the same for me.

I don’t think people have to know a Palestinian to stand up for what they believe in, but it certainly doesn't hurt to get to know one. To learn about their generosity, their kindness, their optimism and, perhaps most importantly, their resilience is a wonderful thing.