I dislike conflict but when you are managing a team of 30, there is a lot of it. I am challenged on a daily basis by the wider team and middle management and everybody seems to want something from me. The working day feels like a battlefield as I fight off one attack after another. While I realise this is part of the job, how can I get better at fending off issues before they arise and provide better solutions to ongoing disputes? AD, Abu Dhabi
It seems like you are being bombarded by challenges, questions and concerns from those around you, and that people are draining the energy from you like “mood hoovers”. What is worse is that not only do your colleagues want you to solve their challenges; it feels as though they are also attacking you and questioning your every move. I know you appreciate that these situations can come with the territory, but it feels like you are constantly in the firing line and that something needs to change.
Conflict management is a key skill for managers and leaders and one that cannot be underestimated. If you are able to effectively manage a conflict occurring between those around you, it may limit the level of opposition that is directed towards you. Conflict can occur when two or more parties want something and each party feels they have a right to this resource, and often the outcome is interconnected. Two children fighting for a toy that only one can play with is the image that often springs to mind.
The fact of the matter is that conflict is unavoidable when you are in a leadership position. Although often seen as negative, if managed appropriately, conflict can be constructive; it promotes growth through learning to solve challenges and work together.
One way people often try to solve conflict is through exercising power. This is where "might is right". But solving conflict in this way creates winners and losers and may fuel resentment, so it is not really a strategy I would recommend. Throughout history, many leaders have felt the backlash of misusing power when resolving conflict.
More productively, you could try to negotiate between sides and identify where different parties need each other. You could encourage them to work together, explore each other’s motives and concentrate on options that meet each other’s needs and aspirations. This involves emphasising that the situation can only be resolved if both parties help each other to receive a satisfactory outcome or a win/win.
Compromise, compassion, empathy, finding common ground and being an active listener typically help people build rapport and reduce tensions.
As well as trying to employ some conflict management strategies, you will also need to look around you for support. Conflict and challenge in teams is contagious and toxic, as the wider team look to the middle managers for what is appropriate. When they challenge you, it’s almost like opening the floodgates and giving permission to everyone else.
When you look at successful executives, it is difficult for them to succeed in delivering their vision without key followers alongside them. It can get very lonely the more senior you go. I recommend you gain support from some middle managers and also direct some of these concerns to them.
Employees may also benefit from having acceptable behaviour defined and clear company values articulated that promote collaboration.
Conflict is usually unpleasant, but there are often interpersonal reasons and motives underneath, and this is what senior executives need to get to the core of. It can be even more difficult when the conflict is directed towards you. However, it is not recommended to simply use power to try to solve issues, as this approach can undermine your credibility in the longer term. Equally, leaders need followers and support, and not everything needs to be escalated to the top. Sometimes to win the battle you need to pick the fights.
Alex Davda is a business psychologist and consultant at Ashridge Business School, based in the Middle East. Email him at business@thenational.ae for advice on any work issues.
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