Subtle cues make all the difference with NLP training

To move people from a 'problem mindset' to a 'solution mindset, NLP trainer Fiona Campbell suggests keeping your voice neutral, and asking 'what needs to happen to resolve this situation?'

To move people from a ‘problem mindset’ to a ‘solution mindset’, the NLP trainer Fiona Campbell suggests keeping your voice neutral, and asking ‘what needs to happen to resolve this situation?’. Anna Nielsen for The NationalShow less

“I’m Mr Fiona Campbell,” Fiona Campbell tells a group of entrepreneurs.

Ms Campbell is referring to the 1980s, when as a Xerox representative she delivered supplies to UAE military compounds. She would be asked to sign in as a Mr because there was no category for women at the time. But despite her gender she says she was “always treated as an equal”.

“I recognised this as a very enlightened approach,” she adds.

The neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) trainer told her story in response to a question from a female boss at her recent session, Moving Mindsets from Problems to Solutions.

The female boss explains that her male employees stand anxiously by her office door instead of coming all the way in: “I sense that they feel uncomfortable, because I’m a woman,” she says.

Ms Campbell, who delivers NLP business practitioner courses in Dubai, India and the UK, advises the woman to consider what she is doing as a boss to help her employees feel more comfortable. “When you work with people, no matter what gender or nationality, you get a connection with them by making them laugh or smile,” she says. “People don’t always remember what you do or say, but they will always remember how you make them feel. If you go out of your way to make them feel comfortable, they will remember that.”

The advice was one of many insights on how the right mindset can influence the working environment around us.

Brought up in Scotland, Ms Campbell has been a licensed NLP trainer for the society of NLP since 2006, and based in Dubai on and off for many years.

She says her latest session – held in Dubai and delivered to members of the Entrepreneurs Organisation, a global network of entrepreneurs – was “a taster of how the structure of language changes behaviour”.

“The training is all about turning up your senses so you’re really looking, listening and feeling what’s happening when you’re engaging with people,” she says. “You teach people not why, but how they’re doing things – it’s all about the process.”

So how can managers empower their employees to find solutions to their problems?

Ms Campbell recommends looking for subtle behavioural cues when engaging with them. “We know that when someone is looking up, they’re accessing the visual cortex of their brain,” she explains. “They’re making pictures in their minds, which can be still or moving.”

Ms Campbell suggests responding to this visual cue with visual words: “Ask ‘is that clear for you?’ or ‘can you really see yourself doing that?’ By doing this, you’ll notice they keep giving more and more information.”

She claims that as long as someone’s eyes are still moving, they’re searching their brain for answers to the question. “If someone’s eyes don’t move, that means they have the answer – or that they’ve got no idea where to search.”

Ms Campbell believes that we all use a mixture of kinetic, visual and auditory senses, but at any given moment, depending on the context, we’re relying on one of these senses more than the others. “The only way we can take information from the outside world into our inside world is via our senses. Once it goes inside you, it converts into feelings.”

To move people from a “problem mindset” to a “solution mindset”, Ms Campbell suggests that rather than asking the question “why is this a problem?” you should keep your voice neutral, and ask “what needs to happen to resolve this situation?”

“If I ask ‘what do you need to do?’ you’re having to take ownership of the outcome. But saying ‘what needs to happen?’ makes it very general, so you might not have to be a part of the solution,” she explains.

When it comes to body language, Ms Campbell recommends talking to people at their level – sitting face to face, or even side to side, but never behind a desk.

Although she doesn’t like to focus on gender differences, she admits that men tend to sit with what she calls “man spread.” “It’s an alpha sign – legs apart, with chest and shoulders forwards,” she explains.

But she warns men that often the one who is wielding the most power in the room is not the one who is trying to look the strongest.

“You’ve got to be careful you’re not making yourself too big energetically in front of people. You want to bring yourself into a state of curiosity. Often I make myself smaller and lean in, but I’m not doing it to be submissive, I’m doing it to help the other person unconsciously feel stronger, and build up their confidence.”

In a room full of alphas, people can just end up knocking heads, Ms Campbell claims, adding that the person who does the least talking is actually the one wielding the most power. “They’re the ones who are listening to what everyone else is revealing from their inside world.”

Follow The National's Business section on Twitter