As the festive season approaches, much of our attention turns to buying. What to give, how much to spend, and whether what we choose will be appreciated. It’s an annual ritual, familiar and well-intentioned. Yet it’s also a useful moment to pause and reflect on what tends to bring lasting satisfaction, long after the wrapping paper is gone.
So, for my last article of 2025, my message is a simple one: the best gifts we give ourselves and others are often those we cannot wrap.
This isn’t a moral argument against buying things, nor a call to abandon practicality. It’s an observation grounded in how we actually experience spending money, and why certain choices stay with us longer than others.
Indeed, findings from psychology and behavioural economics consistently show that how we experience spending matters as much as what we spend on.
How spending really works
Every purchase unfolds in three emotional phases. First comes anticipation. Then, the experience itself. Finally, the memory that remains.
These stages shape how satisfied we feel far more than we tend to realise. They also help explain why experiences often feel richer and more meaningful than material purchases, even when the cost is similar.
The experience is only part of the story
It’s easy to assume that enjoyment lives in the present moment: the holiday, the concert, the meal, the weekend away. That is certainly part of it. But research suggests something more nuanced.
In real time, material things and experiences often deliver comparable pleasure. A new phone delivers genuine pleasure. A well-planned trip can feel equally satisfying in the moment. If you were measuring happiness minute by minute, the difference might be smaller than expected.
So, if the moment itself isn’t dramatically better, why do experiences tend to linger in our minds, while objects fade into the background? The answer lies in the other two phases: anticipation and memory.
Anticipation: value before anything happens
Anticipation is the pleasure of looking forward to something. The quiet lift when a future plan crosses your mind. The sense of promise attached to a date in the diary.
Psychologists call this anticipatory utility: genuine emotional value that accumulates before the event even begins. And it turns out to be a meaningful contributor to overall well-being.
Waiting for something enjoyable tends to increase happiness, not diminish it. A holiday booked months in advance can be enjoyed repeatedly before it begins. A dinner planned for next week can brighten an otherwise ordinary day.
Material purchases rarely offer this benefit. They are often immediate or impulsive, designed to deliver gratification now. In doing so, they bypass an entire phase of potential enjoyment. Experiences, by contrast, allow satisfaction to start early.
Memory: where experiences pull ahead
If anticipation gives experiences a head start, memory is where they really come into their own. We judge whether something was “worth it” largely through the lens of memory, not through a detailed audit of the moment itself. And memories behave differently from objects.
Products age quickly. They become outdated, replaced, or simply absorbed into the background of daily life. Experiences tend to age well. They are revisited, retold, and reinterpreted over time.
We naturally remember highlights more clearly than inconveniences. Delays, minor frustrations and small discomforts fade, while the moments that mattered remain. This process, sometimes described as euphoric recall, means experiences often improve in retrospect.
Experiences also create connection. People bond over shared moments, not shared possessions. Stories are exchanged, jokes resurface, and meaning accumulates. Over time, these memories become part of how we see ourselves and our lives.
An object rarely grows in significance. A memory often does.
Designing spending with emotional returns in mind
None of this suggests that buying things is a mistake. Objects have utility, comfort and genuine value. We need them, and many bring real satisfaction.
But when you are deciding where discretionary money should go, it is worth considering which purchases offer more than a single moment of pleasure.
Experiences deliver value across all three phases: Anticipation that brightens ordinary days, engagement in the moment, and memories that continue paying emotional dividends. In effect, they give you several chances to feel good. Material purchases usually offer one.
That difference helps explain why experiences often feel more meaningful, even when they are modest in scale. A short break, a shared meal, or a planned celebration can leave a deeper imprint than something far more expensive.
As the year draws to a close, this perspective can be quietly reassuring. The most valuable things we give, and give to ourselves, are not always the ones that take up space. Often, they are the ones that stay with us long after the season has passed.
