Speaking at a conference for procurement leaders on the topic of “Building Sustainable Relationships”, I decided to share some guidance I always give when asked: “After all of your years researching leading in the Middle East, is there one piece of advice you can give me?”
This piece of advice is to “have a cup of coffee”.
Coffee is a way of life. Friends gather for hours over coffee to discuss the matters of the day, society, and the world. The routine is more of a cultural relic.
Since the 15th century and the earliest evidence of coffee-drinking, the practice has been an integral part of Arab society. More important than the coffee itself is the prevalence of the coffee house and the daily ritual.
As a leader in the Middle East, you would be wise to remove your watch for a moment and adopt the practice of having a regular cup of coffee with your boss, employees, customers and even prospective clients. The dividends from this practice far outweigh the anticipated loss of time. Relationships are built over coffee, not in the boardroom.
But don’t limit the idea of having coffee only to the black stuff, as the practice can also include tea, shisha or a meal.
Showing respect over coffee is an important part of Middle Eastern family culture, as exemplified in the practice of having a regular (usually daily) cup of coffee with one’s father.
In the West, it might seem the “right thing” to do to meet dad for coffee periodically. In Arab culture, it is the honourable thing to pass by dad’s house daily for coffee; it happens without forethought.
When leaders recognise and practice the daily cup of coffee ritual in the workplace, they model a patriarchal style of management, and this results in effective workplace relationships, improved performance and increased employee engagement and retention.
Here in the Middle East, having coffee is about much more than the coffee. Where I come from, it is often about enjoying the coffee’s taste (and getting the much-needed caffeine) as well as spending time casually with friends. But in the Middle East having coffee also shows respect and value, and most importantly, it is where trust is built.
Trust is the backbone of Arab society and the currency of business. Trust is not built over random encounters or official business in the office; it is built, matured, and sustained over time.
Trust is not limited to moral character – meaning honesty, integrity as in “I can give you my wallet and I know that you will not take any money from it” or as another example, telling the truth and not hiding any points.
The other type of trust is performance character, which is someone who will do what he or she says. This centres on the trust you have that another person will deliver according to expectation.
Trust comprehensively covers both elements – moral and performance character.
In Middle East culture, one mechanism for building trust is spending time over a cup of coffee or tea. As difficult as this is to express in words, there is a relationship between time and trust.
So returning to the heart of this tip, it is advised that you press pause on your stopwatch and invest time over coffee or a meal to build trust.
It is the key to virtually all relationships in the Arab world. To succeed in the Middle East, it is imperative to understand the effect of time and not limit yourself to days on a calendar.
Tommy Weir is a leadership adviser and author of 10 Tips for Leading in the Middle East and other leadership writings. Follow him on Twitter: @tommyweir
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