Growing up as an Arab, I was often encouraged not to discuss my ambitions until I had actually achieved them. “Deal with your goals in silence or you will never do anything about them,” is what elders including my grandmother used to preach. As a child I never understood where she came from. Did she fear the evil eye, I wondered. She told me I would understand when I was older and was in a situation where I’d not done anything about the goals I’d talked so much about.
Grandma was right. It was not until I grew up, was managing my consultancy and had become more interested in psychology that I received my answer. There are two schools of thought in entrepreneurship when it comes to discussing your business goals. One encourages entrepreneurs to share their plans for their business so that they are more likely to achieve them. Once you put it out in the open, it is hard to back out. You don’t want to be labelled a failure so you are more likely to do it. This might work in some cases. Saying that you plan to increase your profit by 20 per cent this year, and will do so by implementing X, Y, and Z would have your friends cheering you on, and you would be on a roll – right? Well, the second school of thought thinks otherwise.
Psychological research has found that if we share our goals with someone, and the other person acknowledges it, we are less likely to achieve it. What happens is what psychologists refer to as social reality – the mind is tricked into feeling it has already achieved that goal, thus making you less motivated to go and do it. German psychologist Wera Mahler found that when our goal is acknowledged by others, it felt real in the mind, like the task has been already completed, leading us to become complacent about it later on. The gratification you receive when people salute your goal and your plan to go about it, results in you becoming less motivated.
I wanted to put this theory to the test but it actually happened naturally. A year ago I told my sister, friends and almost anyone who asked me about my plan for the year – to approaching publishers X, Y, Z and pitch my novel to them. I felt great that I’d voiced my plans; I won’t back out now, I believed. So what happened next? The words of encouragement I received elevated me so much. I felt like a winner. But did I achieve my aim? I did, but not with the same enthusiasm and determination I’d felt before sharing my plans. Plus I did not get the results I’d anticipated. Instead I procrastinated throughout the process. Lesson learnt.
So if you can’t talk about your goals, what is the alternative? Ultimately, you don’t want to lose determination or focus by allowing that acknowledgement to go to your head. Sometimes only your spouse, a close friend or even your team members need to know the company’s quarterly or yearly goals. The key is to do it in a way that will not prevent you from achieving what you’ve set out to do, such as: “I really need to publish that book, so scold me if you find me procrastinating”. Or set a strict deadline and have a follow-up weekly meeting with your team to discuss what has been done so far.
As my grandma said, some things are better left unsaid; at least until you are through with them.
Manar Al Hinai is an award-winning Emirati writer and communications consultant based in Abu Dhabi. Twitter: @manar_hinai.
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