I have long maintained that bankers should be boring. Not so long ago, they were. Dull and dependable, reminiscent of aged gardeners on dukes' estates, they used to dodder about with wispy hair, strange cardigans and dodgy knees from too much bending down and weeding. It is always good for a banker to get his hands dirty, that way he knows what is really going on. But something happened about 20 years ago to change all that. It could have coincided with the launch of Oliver Stone's satire Wall Street, on the excesses of the 1980s. A young generation watched the film and instead of deciding that they wanted to be Charlie Sheen's character - who, let's face it, is a bit of a loser - plumped to be the next Gordon Gekko. "Greed is good," they chirruped, and off they went. We all know what happened next.
But not in France. Maybe it's because "Rue du Mur" didn't sound very catchy, or because France had its own banking crisis in the 1990s when Debit Lyonnais, sorry Credit Lyonnais, went spectacularly bust. Or perhaps France was able to produce a superior sort of banker. Last week, I was invited by BNP Paribas to its annual press shindig. It's the largest bank in France and one of the few European banks not only to survive the financial meltdown unscathed but to emerge with their reputations enhanced. The bash began in rather splendid style with a tour of the Sorbonne, which was followed by a drinks party in one of the grand rooms. As the parquet floors creaked beneath us, and waiter after waiter came around with tempting delicacies, I chatted to a few of the top brass before chancing upon the main man, one Badouin Prot.
With his grey hair, steel-rimmed glasses and rather formless suit, he looked more like a university professor than a banker. No red braces, hair gel or blue shirt with white collar for him. Armed only with a canape, I approached him to share my theory about why bankers should be more boring. "Not so," he said. "I keep hearing about how bankers should avoid risk. But if you want to avoid risk, you should not go into banking. We need to be risk-aware but not risk-averse. It would be like being in the railway business and not liking trains. Ten thousand people in my bank work on risk.
"Personally, all the bad debts of more than €1.5 million (Dh7.5m) come by me. I chair the risk committee. The bankers who made the bad loans must explain where they went wrong." This sounded rather good. I was impressed by his train metaphor, and by his willingness to talk about bad loans, unlike most bankers who prefer to sweep them under the carpet. Despite his penchant for risk, carefully managed of course, he sounded like a French gardener, and I immediately warmed to the fellow. I returned to my journalist pals, who had been seduced by the foie gras and figs and failed to spot the chance for an exclusive chat with the great man.
"What did he say?" they asked. "Oh, you know, very little. Typical banker," I replied, rather pleased with my scoop and unwilling to share it with them. Next day, we all assembled in a giant building just off the Boulevard Haussmann. This was a grand affair with a facade reminiscent of the Gare de Lyon. Mr Prot made a presentation about BNP Paribas. Its growth has been impressive. If every company in France had increased its workforce at a similar rate, there would be no unemployment and they wouldn't be wasting their €300 on sending Roma migrants home but would be importing them instead. A staff of 80,000 10 years ago is now 201,000 strong, and showing no sign of slowing.
As the fog cleared from the financial gloom last year, BNP Paribas snapped up Fortis Bank, which was then Belgium's biggest company. It had invested heavily in sub-prime debt and was sinking fast, but now recapitalised, the business is growing. Mr Prot pointed out with the help of slides how his bank avoided most of the icebergs of the crash. "If you don't have a strong cash flow and the cost of risk goes up, that kills you," he said. "When banks were paying 10 basis points for funding and buying high-yielding assets, they were making a fortune. But then the cost of funding went to 200 basis points and the assets became worthless."
He blames the Americans "100 per cent" for the financial crisis. I was beginning to think this was the most enjoyable bank presentation I had ever heard (as you can imagine it's not a very long list), when he went and spoilt it. "Risk-aversion leads a banker nowhere," he said. "Loans is to banking what trains are to railways. If you never fail, you're not in business, but if you have too many bad loans, you're not here on Monday."
I saw my fellow hacks spring to life when he made the reference to trains and start scribbling furiously. He had spoiled my scoop. A good banker, but needs to change his metaphors more often. He left the meeting briskly clutching a briefcase, eager to get to work, and was driven off in a small blue Peugeot, no doubt thinking of trains and risk. He may have spoilt my story, but if I were a shareholder in a bank, I'd want him as Fat Controller.
rwright@thenational.ae
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
Pakistan v New Zealand Test series
Pakistan: Sarfraz (c), Hafeez, Imam, Azhar, Sohail, Shafiq, Azam, Saad, Yasir, Asif, Abbas, Hassan, Afridi, Ashraf, Hamza
New Zealand: Williamson (c), Blundell, Boult, De Grandhomme, Henry, Latham, Nicholls, Ajaz, Raval, Sodhi, Somerville, Southee, Taylor, Wagner
Umpires: Bruce Oxerford (AUS) and Ian Gould (ENG); TV umpire: Paul Reiffel (AUS); Match referee: David Boon (AUS)
Tickets and schedule: Entry is free for all spectators. Gates open at 9am. Play commences at 10am
Specs
Engine: Electric motor generating 54.2kWh (Cooper SE and Aceman SE), 64.6kW (Countryman All4 SE)
Power: 218hp (Cooper and Aceman), 313hp (Countryman)
Torque: 330Nm (Cooper and Aceman), 494Nm (Countryman)
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh158,000 (Cooper), Dh168,000 (Aceman), Dh132,000 (Countryman)
The specs
Engine: Direct injection 4-cylinder 1.4-litre
Power: 150hp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: From Dh139,000
On sale: Now
Quick pearls of wisdom
Focus on gratitude: And do so deeply, he says. “Think of one to three things a day that you’re grateful for. It needs to be specific, too, don’t just say ‘air.’ Really think about it. If you’re grateful for, say, what your parents have done for you, that will motivate you to do more for the world.”
Know how to fight: Shetty married his wife, Radhi, three years ago (he met her in a meditation class before he went off and became a monk). He says they’ve had to learn to respect each other’s “fighting styles” – he’s a talk it-out-immediately person, while she needs space to think. “When you’re having an argument, remember, it’s not you against each other. It’s both of you against the problem. When you win, they lose. If you’re on a team you have to win together.”
ZAYED SUSTAINABILITY PRIZE
Abu Dhabi Grand Slam Jiu-Jitsu World Tour Calendar 2018/19
July 29: OTA Gymnasium in Tokyo, Japan
Sep 22-23: LA Convention Centre in Los Angeles, US
Nov 16-18: Carioca Arena Centre in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Feb 7-9: Mubadala Arena in Abu Dhabi, UAE
Mar 9-10: Copper Box Arena in London, UK
THE SPECS
Engine: 1.5-litre turbocharged four-cylinder
Transmission: Constant Variable (CVT)
Power: 141bhp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: Dh64,500
On sale: Now
Scores:
Day 4
England 290 & 346
Sri Lanka 336 & 226-7 (target 301)
Sri Lanka require another 75 runs with three wickets remaining
Banned items
Dubai Police has also issued a list of banned items at the ground on Sunday. These include:
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Political flags or banners
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Bikes, skateboards or scooters
The specs
Engine: 2-litre or 3-litre 4Motion all-wheel-drive Power: 250Nm (2-litre); 340 (3-litre) Torque: 450Nm Transmission: 8-speed automatic Starting price: From Dh212,000 On sale: Now
A State of Passion
Directors: Carol Mansour and Muna Khalidi
Stars: Dr Ghassan Abu-Sittah
Rating: 4/5
How Voiss turns words to speech
The device has a screen reader or software that monitors what happens on the screen
The screen reader sends the text to the speech synthesiser
This converts to audio whatever it receives from screen reader, so the person can hear what is happening on the screen
A VOISS computer costs between $200 and $250 depending on memory card capacity that ranges from 32GB to 128GB
The speech synthesisers VOISS develops are free
Subsequent computer versions will include improvements such as wireless keyboards
Arabic voice in affordable talking computer to be added next year to English, Portuguese, and Spanish synthesiser
Partnerships planned during Expo 2020 Dubai to add more languages
At least 2.2 billion people globally have a vision impairment or blindness
More than 90 per cent live in developing countries
The Long-term aim of VOISS to reach the technology to people in poor countries with workshops that teach them to build their own device
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
Europe’s rearming plan
- Suspend strict budget rules to allow member countries to step up defence spending
- Create new "instrument" providing €150 billion of loans to member countries for defence investment
- Use the existing EU budget to direct more funds towards defence-related investment
- Engage the bloc's European Investment Bank to drop limits on lending to defence firms
- Create a savings and investments union to help companies access capital
Coal Black Mornings
Brett Anderson
Little Brown Book Group
COMPANY%20PROFILE%20
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Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
The specs
Engine: 3-litre twin-turbo V6
Power: 400hp
Torque: 475Nm
Transmission: 9-speed automatic
Price: From Dh215,900
On sale: Now
Analysis
Members of Syria's Alawite minority community face threat in their heartland after one of the deadliest days in country’s recent history. Read more