A friend of mine always has money to spend on a good time - chartering yachts, going on amazing trips, living in beautiful homes. Always cloaked in and surrounded by luxury. I've often wondered how he can afford it all - because what he does for a living and how he lives don't add up.
He is in a serious relationship now and will be getting married soon. Wonderful news, I think to myself. My next thought is: can he afford his stepchildren's school fees? When chatting through the imminent change to his lifestyle, I found out the secret to his dismissive, relaxed attitude to money. He is the child of immense privilege. We are talking serious wealth here. His father's fortune is his safety net. But is it?
I wonder, has he ever stopped to think "what if?"
Remember, rich kids don't always grow up to be rich adults. Even if their parents do manage to keep their wealth intact, this doesn't mean it'll be passed down to the next generation.
An example of this has been in the news recently: it's the story of a multimillionaire who gave everything up to support a cancer care charity.
And I mean everything. We don't know whether, alongside selling his 10-acre mansion worth Dh96 million and donating all the proceeds to the "daft as a brush" charity that he set up, he meant to do away with his 30-year marriage too, or whether it fell apart because his new-found philanthropic passion spilt over into every aspect and minute of his life. He lives off his pension now - and that too will go to the charity when he dies.
This self-made former businessman has made it very clear that his three children will not be inheriting the fortune that he had built up. They may inherit nothing. He believes that children have to make their own way in life.
And this is a belief shared by quite a few high-profile billionaires. It's more important for these people that their children know what wealth can do to enrich the world, understand the value of money and have a purpose in life. These parents seem to have two principles that guide them. One is that they are custodians of the great wealth they have accumulated. The other is that they love their children so much that they want them to do something with their lives. The late Apple chief executive Steve Jobs summed it up simply when he said: "You don't want to leave a large amount to your children. It will just ruin their lives".
This sentiment is echoed by Bill Gates, the world's second-richest person - according to Forbes. He said he will pay for his children's education and health care, but that they are expected to support themselves while contributing to society. Granted the $10m that they'll each inherit - if we're to believe speculation - will make that mission a tad more comfortable - but the point isn't exactly how much they'll inherit - it's Mr Gates's legacy that counts. His legacy to the world with the Bill & Melinda Foundation, The Giving Pledge, and the importance of sharing, caring and contributing. Add to this his legacy of how to love your children.
Personally, I like Matt King's line in the movie The Descendants, where he said: "you give your children enough money to do something - but not enough to do nothing."
This line is a variation of something the philanthropic Warren Buffett once said and obviously lives by. The Oracle of Omaha's eldest son says his father transferred values to him, not wealth. Most of Mr Buffet's fortune will be donated to charity when he dies.
Parents often wonder how they can best set up their children for life. But instead of this being about how much money to leave them, do this: gift your child values that will see them through anything. Only then will they be set for life.
Nima Abu Wardeh is the founder of the personal finance website cashy.me. You can reach her at nima@cashy.me.
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Child inheritance - give them millions or make them work for it?
Nima Abu Wardeh advises the wealthy to follow the example of Steve Jobs when it comes to an inheritance.
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