The women’s majlis: Learning to take control of life

I miss studying. Since high school, I've been a nerd. I enjoyed scribbling in my notebooks and taking notes.

When I graduated high school, I was given a scholarship to Australia and Egypt. I was thrilled as it was my dream to study abroad and explore new cultures and places. My family didn’t obstruct me, but my intuition told me to continue studying here. When I got the news that some of my colleagues were enjoying their studies in Australia, I wished I could go back in time and follow my dream; to quench my thirst for knowledge. The reality was bitter, but I managed to console myself with the thought that my decision to remain home was better.

Time went by in the blink of an eye. I graduated from Zayed University two years ago. Shortly after, I received a call from my old friend who completed her degree in Australia. I was impatient to hear stories from her journey. When we met, she did most of the talking. I noticed how she had changed for the better academically, professionally and personally.

Living away from her parents and hometown, she said, she learnt independence and overcame many challenges. In those four years, loneliness was her main enemy. While she was doing all the talking, I began to compare my education with hers. The style of assignments she had to complete, the teamwork that she was part of and how the mutual relationship between professor and students eventually made her the strong person she is today.

Hearing all the stories and adventures, I forgot about my achievements and university. I couldn’t reveal much about my education, as we were caught up in reminiscing. Lying in my bed that night, I kept rewinding the conversation. I guess it’s human nature to compare ourselves to others. Sometimes comparison strengthens us; other times, it can break us.

As the architect of my life, I decided to open a new page. I thought of pursuing a master’s abroad.

My sister phoned me a few days ago with an unexpected proposition. “Let’s go together to the UK and do our higher studies together,” she said. I agreed immediately and my intuition gave me the green light this time. After six years, I discovered why I was sceptical about going to Australia. I was not ready to be in a new land, a new culture or face loneliness. Not everyone changes in six years, but I have enormously – for better, I’d say. I learnt that I don’t have to be away from home to learn ­independence.

When I officially become a master’s student at the University of London, and when I come back after a year, holding my certificate, I’ll be phoning my old friend and sharing my experience with her. Life is all about giving and taking, right?

Asmaa Al Hameli is a features writer at The National.

If you have a good story to tell or an interesting issue to debate, contact Shireena Al Nowais on [e-mail].

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