Comic Rob Deering. Courtesy Laughter Factory
Comic Rob Deering. Courtesy Laughter Factory
Comic Rob Deering. Courtesy Laughter Factory
Comic Rob Deering. Courtesy Laughter Factory

Ten things to know about comedian Rob Deering


  • English
  • Arabic

Comedian, musician, quiz show champion and all-round genius Rob Deering tops the bill at this month’s Laughter Factory. We find 10 things to know before seeing him perform.

1 He started off as a musician. Then he became a comedian. Now he’s a musical comedian.

“I wanted to be a serious musician. And this was without any recourse to my actual personality – I thought I would get over myself and become this serious artist. That didn’t happen, my personality continued to exist and I became a comedian without music. And then the music crept into my set incredibly slowly, over an almost geological period of time.”

2 Along the way he played in lots of questionably titled rock bands, including Wax Lyrical, The Jemimah Stepdads, The Glass Needle, Galar and Giant.

"I was in lots of bands, all with terrible names. There was one point where I wanted to call my band Feisty Heffer – that's disastrous, isn't it? Donkey Monkey was another point of silly, pointless wordplay. Absolutely terrible. But then a lot of famous bands have got terrible names. U2 – what a dreadful name for a band. Me and my wife, if either one of us says: 'I love you, too,' the other one will say: 'Yeah, I dunno, The Joshua Tree was all right.' That's an indication of what it's like here at Deering HQ."

3 He was first on television at the age of 12, representing his school on game show Crack-It (he lost).

“I was always seeking an audience, long before I was a comedian. I think I was on telly because I did a lot of showing off at school, so they were clearly just responding to a need that existed. I often used to get up in assembly to make spurious announcements about nothing because I just wanted to try to get a laugh. The whole thing is a product of showing off and attention deficit disorder. But I try to use my ADD as a power for good.”

4 He claims to be the world’s first looping ­comedian.

“I am a one-man-band, but by saying that, I conjure up horrible images of mouth organs strapped to faces and cymbals between knees, and generally being slightly outside of society. I am very much a looper – my loop pedal is my best friend. I love to loop. But then I think that sometimes in music people go: ‘Oh, look, I looped’ and it’s really dull. I very much use it as a means to an end, so I can play songs rather than say: ‘Look what I just did.’”

5 He’s 42 years old.

“I say to audiences: ‘I’m 42, I’m a grown-up now,’ and everyone just laughs in my face. It’s not meant to be a joke, but there’s a compliment there for me, I think.”

6 He was a regular on UK breakfast show RI:SE, in which he frequently fell over.

“Falling over is funny. It’s empirical – one’s perspective doesn’t change it, it’s an observable fact. When Madonna fell over, a lot of people said it wasn’t funny. Yes it was, being pulled backwards down a flight of steps by a giant cloak – that’s funny on paper, that’s mathematically funny. Yeah, if she’d been hurt, it wouldn’t have been funny. But she wasn’t, so it was.”

7 But he had to retire the move from his act in 2011.

“I genuinely have got a chronic knee injury from falling over, particularly when I was ‘falling over man’ on the TV and I really threw myself into it. I smashed my left knee into various pavements and stone steps all over London and it’s never been quite the same.”

8 He likes Dubai.

“It’s a crazy place; there’s nowhere like it. It’s very immediate, brightly coloured and expensive – it suits me, I like things brightly coloured and superficial – I’m a magpie in that way. Shiny and sparkly and sunny – it works for me.”

9 He claims to have an IQ of 148.

“They did a test at the Edinburgh Festival to see if comedians were clever and I think they were disappointed to find that we were. My IQ came in at 148. The evidence is there, it’s all on paper somewhere. Mensa is just about that level – I think I just missed the invitation.”

10 He is the first person to win quiz show The Weakest Link without getting a question wrong.

“[Presenter] Anne Robinson tried to use my IQ against me. I guess she was thinking I’d go out and then she’d say ‘not so clever now’, but I didn’t go out. I’m best in a quiz. I’m much better at pointless stuff – don’t ask me how the engine of my car works, but do ask me to quote adverts from the 1980s.”

Rob Deering performs as part of The Laughter Factory, at Mövenpick Hotel Jumeirah Beach, Thursday and Friday at 9pm; at McGettigan’s JLT on Wednesday at 8pm; and Grand Millennium Tecom on Thursday, June 11 at 9pm. Tickets are Dh140, visit www.thelaughterfactory.com to book

rgarratt@thenational.ae

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The smuggler

Eldarir had arrived at JFK in January 2020 with three suitcases, containing goods he valued at $300, when he was directed to a search area.
Officers found 41 gold artefacts among the bags, including amulets from a funerary set which prepared the deceased for the afterlife.
Also found was a cartouche of a Ptolemaic king on a relief that was originally part of a royal building or temple. 
The largest single group of items found in Eldarir’s cases were 400 shabtis, or figurines.

Khouli conviction

Khouli smuggled items into the US by making false declarations to customs about the country of origin and value of the items.
According to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, he provided “false provenances which stated that [two] Egyptian antiquities were part of a collection assembled by Khouli's father in Israel in the 1960s” when in fact “Khouli acquired the Egyptian antiquities from other dealers”.
He was sentenced to one year of probation, six months of home confinement and 200 hours of community service in 2012 after admitting buying and smuggling Egyptian antiquities, including coffins, funerary boats and limestone figures.

For sale

A number of other items said to come from the collection of Ezeldeen Taha Eldarir are currently or recently for sale.
Their provenance is described in near identical terms as the British Museum shabti: bought from Salahaddin Sirmali, "authenticated and appraised" by Hossen Rashed, then imported to the US in 1948.

- An Egyptian Mummy mask dating from 700BC-30BC, is on offer for £11,807 ($15,275) online by a seller in Mexico

- A coffin lid dating back to 664BC-332BC was offered for sale by a Colorado-based art dealer, with a starting price of $65,000

- A shabti that was on sale through a Chicago-based coin dealer, dating from 1567BC-1085BC, is up for $1,950

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