Observing Life: You think they’d do a better job of selling you stuff

No matter where you go in the world, adverts are always annoying.

One of the most unpredictable things about life as an expatriate is the gradual changes you notice when you visit friends and family in your home country.

I was in the UK this month for the longest visit I’ve spent there since I moved to the UAE in 2010.

Venues where I had spent many a happy youthful night were closed, and favourite restaurants had become the latest branch of yet another global fast-food chain, but the strangest thing to strike me during this visit was, believe it or not, the TV adverts.

I’m not talking about the big-money, big-name brand epics on the major channels but the low-budget adverts on the daytime schedules of not-­exactly-blockbuster satellite and cable channels.

Watching these, you could be forgiven for thinking that the income of an entire section of British society comes from lottery scratch cards, online bingo or the latest imported trans­atlantic fad – compensation lawyers.

Nothing else seems to be advertised during the day on UK TV, which is all the more alarming when you consider that the demographic for these ads isn’t visiting expats passing an idle hour in a hotel but the unemployed, who are seemingly being advised that the best use of their limited funds is bingo, scratch cards or seeking litigation opportunities.

Of course, bingo and lotteries have been around for many years, and can be popular with those down on their luck, but I’m fairly certain they were never pushed quite so aggressively on the poor through advertising in the past.

I visited the US this year too, where ads on local channels are for personal security and guns. The US being the home of the litigious culture that seems to be spreading around the world, compensation lawyers were also well-represented – and since local news seems to be nothing but armed robberies, carjackings and violent assaults, they must be busy.

We’re lucky in the UAE that such violence and crime is low down on the list of concerns for most residents, but that doesn’t let us off the hook on the TV adverts front.

For me, the most irritating commercial in recent memory was one conceived right here in the region – the “Yalla Now” ad for a popular soft drink. In it, a group of perfectly preened, multicultural local residents take part in wholesome activities around the globe, as glugging on fizzy pop transports them to rock festivals, amusement parks and football matches before returning them to the desert for a fireworks party.

Each vignette is separated by a hearty cry of “Yalla,” and an initially uplifting guitar hook that induces sheer rage by the 400th listen.

Fortunately for everyone’s sanity, it has now been replaced by a catchy, samba-infused ad featuring footballer Lionel Messi. Unfortunately, having watched the Argentinian genius demolish my team this month, this one might soon take over that coveted “most irritating” top spot.