I can't dance. At all. In fact, the last time I even attempted shuffling my feet to some kind of beat was back at school, during our compulsory Scottish country dancing lessons, when I was about 16. Imagine then, the level of fear that washed over me when I was kindly informed that I would be taking part in a Lord of the Dance master class - taught by the troupe themselves. Lord of the Dance is the highest-grossing dance show in history, having taken in more than $800 million (Dh2.9bn) worldwide since it began in 1996.
Based on Irish folklore, and created by the veteran dancer Michael Flatley, the main theme of the show is your classic good versus evil showdown, but with tap shoes. The story follows the main hero, the aptly titled Lord of the Dance, who must battle the evil Don Dorcha (aka the Dark Lord) with the help of fellow good guy, Little Spirit. Flatley, who came up with the idea for the show after leaving Riverdance (which he also created) in 1995, also choreographed, produced and starred in Lord of the Dance. At present, the theatrical extravaganza is compprised of two dance troupes - one of which performs in Europe and Asia, the other, based in North and South America - with Flatley acting as artistic director. Flatley himself will peform a series of dates at larger venues this year.
Lord of the Dance has been performed in 40 countries, to more than 100 million people, since its world premiere in Dublin. A permanent show based in Las Vegas for five years attractacted an estimated 2 million visitors. So, given the success of the show, how would I handle the pressure? Suffice to say my grace didn't so much fly out the window as take a running jump right through it, leaving a trail of dust in its wake. But, luckily for me, I found myself partnered with the endlessly patient Chris Hannon, 28, who has been a member of the troupe for more than 12 years. Luckily for him, my lesson only lasted the best part of 20 minutes - any longer and even the most mild mannered of professionals would surely have lost it with me.
Still, despite my glaringly obvious lack of any co-ordination whatsoever (think the tutu-clad hippo out of Fantasia and you'll be on the right track) there's no doubt that the class was a great laugh. We began our lesson with a short warm-up, where I quickly learnt that reaching down to touch my toes was not quite as easy as had I had initially presumed. After that, it was straight into learning the first (of several) intricate dance moves, called a treble.
"Just step on your right toe," said Chris. "No, the other toe," he continued, as I attempted some elaborate and entirely made-up pose. Right then. After having the still-smiling dancer take me through the move step-by-step, I was just about able to re-create it. But, you know, without any of the finesse. Then, having barely made room in my mind for one sequence, we swiftly moved on to another, which involved plenty of kicks. And let me tell you, it's not as easy as it looks. In fact, let me rephrase that, it's every bit as hard as it looks. Nevertheless, I gave it a go, and despite looking like I was fighting off an invisible swarm of flying bugs, this was probably the easiest move to master. Of course, I say "master", but what I really mean is not mess it up completely.
The pinnacle of my dancing career came at the end of the lesson, where we (the guests) were invited to line up with the professionals and attempt to dance in unison with them. Presumably, one imagines, in order to further illuminate just how much skill it takes to dance at this level. David McCabe, who plays the lead role, says the reason he thinks the show is so popular is down to one basic thing: "It is completely different to any other kind of (dance) show, so the audience that come to see it find themselves viewing something completely unique.
"It's also amazing to see so many people dancing in synch with each other, and we rarely get an audience that are still sitting by the end of the night. My favourite part of the show? I love the beginning, which starts off slow, then ends on a big bang." Damien O'Kane, the principle dancer on the tour, agrees: "The show creates a real feel-good factor and it's an amazing feeling being up there (on stage) performing. It's very different from traditional Irish dancing, where you tend to keep your upper body very rigid. You also tend not to smile very much in dancing competitions because they are so serious. Michael Flatley really modernsed Irish dancing."
For anyone who thinks the show sounds, well, a bit cheesy - you wouldn't be wrong. But - and it's a big but - the dancing, especially when the troupe is moving in an almost regimented-like formation, is nothing short of incredible. Despite the fact that my fabourite part of the lesson was break time, I can safely say that I did enjoy my short fling as a Lord of the Dance performer. Finishing off the last move with a flourish, I turned excitedly to Chris. "I think I got about one-tenth of that right," said I, an unfamiliar (and brief) feeling of triumph rising up through my body. "Really?" said Chris, "I would have said more like one-twentieth."
Thanks, Chris. Somehow, I don't think I'll be expecting a call from Michael Flatley any time soon.
