It’s often said that the more you know, the more you need to know.
Looking at my own quarter-life-crisis-inspired mission to learn French, I'll venture this old adage has proved absolutely bang on.
And it’s effecting my confidence.
Before I embarked on formal study, at Alliance Français Dubai at the beginning of the year, I was more than happy to ramble away in the titbits of schoolboy French I'd learned 15 years ago. To friends, colleagues, family members – French or otherwise – no one escaped. What I like to think was an eccentric character trait was, I suspect, an embarrassing indulgence of my long-suffering mates.
But now, after four months studying the language, I’m too insecure to start a sentence. When the phone rings and a French friend is on the line, I panic. Once we would have danced a 12-minute French trapeze act to reach a conclusion which could have been made in three minutes or less.
Now I freeze, stutter, and conduct the call in English.
And bizarrely, now for the first time ever, people actually want me to speak in French.
Yet my confidence continues to nose dive at an alarming rate.
Pourquoi? (why) you might rightly wonder.
I’ll fall back on another adage now – turns out ignorance really is bliss. Before, I would be content to scatter my limited vocabulary down the line, gamely mixing up tenses and genders – because I barely knew such things existed.
Now I know mon from ma and tes from des, when I open my mouth, I'm paralysed.
Now I know there are four ways to write most adjectives (petit/petite/petits/petites) it takes me three times longer to pen an email in French. I long back for the days when I would wantonly throw together disjointed words, generally linked by just moi or c'est.
Now I know how far there is to go on this journey. What I no longer know, is if I’ll ever arrive at my destination.
• Rob Garratt is studying beginners's French at Alliance Française Dubai, a non-profit language and cultural institution established in 1982, which teaches French to more than 2,500 students every year. Find out more at www.afdubai.org.
