If you've seen both Zero Dark Thirty and Eddie Griffin's stand-up, you'll probably appreciate that US military intelligence didn't employ the comedian's advice when it came to finding Osama bin Laden.
"I can't understand how they can't find a guy who's six-foot-six and has a natty beard, and yet they can find my cousin who's 4-foot-11 in Compton," he said in stand-up routine several years ago. "He's worth half a billion dollars. Look for the cave with the satellite hookup. If a Rolls-Royce is parked in front of the cave, he's probably in there. If you go inside and there are velvet pictures of Saddam Hussein on the walls, I think he's probably in there."
The comedian might have been wrong about bin Laden, but Griffin is now heading to the region for his first regional tour, including a show at the Dubai World Trade Centre Friday. "It's my first time visiting the Middle East, and I'm looking forward to it," he says. "I heard so much about Dubai."
The Middle East might not be the first place you'd expect a comedian known for a somewhat bawdy, outspoken act that veers towards the tasteless (one of his most famous sketches involves an impersonation of Michael Jackson on crack). But Griffin - who also starred in the sitcom Malcolm & Eddie, along with a few lesser appreciated films (Norbit, anyone?) - is confident he'll do just fine.
"I've done this for many years, travelling around the world. So I speak one language, and that's called funny," he says. "Each show has its own character. I'll definitely alter my material for Dubai. It's going to be a blast."
Will he pull out his Michael Jackson routine?
"It's been a while. I loved Michael, but we'll see."
Eddie Griffin performs Friday at the Sheikh Rashid Hall in the Dubai World Trade Centre at 8pm. Tickets are Dh350, available at Virgin Megastores. Visit www.facebook.com/yakevents
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The rules of the road keeping cyclists safe
Cyclists must wear a helmet, arm and knee pads
Have a white front-light and a back red-light on their bike
They must place a number plate with reflective light to the back of the bike to alert road-users
Avoid carrying weights that could cause the bike to lose balance
They must cycle on designated lanes and areas and ride safe on pavements to avoid bumping into pedestrians
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AGUERO'S PREMIER LEAGUE RECORD
Apps: 186
Goals: 127
Assists: 31
Wins: 117
Losses: 33
MORE FROM ED HUSAIN: The UAE-Israel accord is a win for every Muslim
Jetour T1 specs
Engine: 2-litre turbocharged
Power: 254hp
Torque: 390Nm
Price: From Dh126,000
Available: Now
How to wear a kandura
Dos
- Wear the right fabric for the right season and occasion
- Always ask for the dress code if you don’t know
- Wear a white kandura, white ghutra / shemagh (headwear) and black shoes for work
- Wear 100 per cent cotton under the kandura as most fabrics are polyester
Don’ts
- Wear hamdania for work, always wear a ghutra and agal
- Buy a kandura only based on how it feels; ask questions about the fabric and understand what you are buying
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On Women's Day
Dr Nawal Al-Hosany: Why more women should be on the frontlines of climate action
Shelina Janmohamed: Why shouldn't a spouse be compensated fairly for housework?
Justin Thomas: Challenge the notion that 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus'
The National Editorial: Is there much to celebrate on International Women's Day 2021?
HUNGARIAN GRAND PRIX RESULT
1. Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari 1:39:46.713
2. Kimi Raikkonen, Ferrari 00:00.908
3. Valtteri Bottas, Mercedes-GP 00:12.462
4. Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes-GP 00:12.885
5. Max Verstappen, Red Bull Racing 00:13.276
6. Fernando Alonso, McLaren 01:11.223
7. Carlos Sainz Jr, Toro Rosso 1 lap
8. Sergio Perez, Force India 1 lap
9. Esteban Ocon, Force India 1 lap
10. Stoffel Vandoorne, McLaren 1 lap
11. Daniil Kvyat, Toro Rosso 1 lap
12. Jolyon Palmer, Renault 1 lap
13. Kevin Magnussen, Haas 1 lap
14. Lance Stroll, Williams 1 lap
15. Pascal Wehrlein, Sauber 2 laps
16. Marcus Ericsson, Sauber 2 laps
17r. Nico Huelkenberg, Renault 3 laps
r. Paul Di Resta, Williams 10 laps
r. Romain Grosjean, Haas 50 laps
r. Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull Racing 70 laps
Profile of Hala Insurance
Date Started: September 2018
Founders: Walid and Karim Dib
Based: Abu Dhabi
Employees: Nine
Amount raised: $1.2 million
Funders: Oman Technology Fund, AB Accelerator, 500 Startups, private backers
Company%20Profile
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Terror attacks in Paris, November 13, 2015
- At 9.16pm, three suicide attackers killed one person outside the Atade de France during a foootball match between France and Germany
- At 9.25pm, three attackers opened fire on restaurants and cafes over 20 minutes, killing 39 people
- Shortly after 9.40pm, three other attackers launched a three-hour raid on the Bataclan, in which 1,500 people had gathered to watch a rock concert. In total, 90 people were killed
- Salah Abdeslam, the only survivor of the terrorists, did not directly participate in the attacks, thought to be due to a technical glitch in his suicide vest
- He fled to Belgium and was involved in attacks on Brussels in March 2016. He is serving a life sentence in France
Kareem Shaheen on Canada
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While you're here
Samanth Subramanian: Imposing Hindi could undermine India's linguistic diversity
Phil Mercer: Aboriginal musicians are struggling to be heard
Gavin Esler: What we lose when we allow languages to die
Sholto Byrnes on Myanmar politics
While you're here
The National editorial: Turkey's soft power weighs heavy on Europe's Muslims
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French business
France has organised a delegation of leading businesses to travel to Syria. The group was led by French shipping giant CMA CGM, which struck a 30-year contract in May with the Syrian government to develop and run Latakia port. Also present were water and waste management company Suez, defence multinational Thales, and Ellipse Group, which is currently looking into rehabilitating Syrian hospitals.
If you go
The flights
There are direct flights from Dubai to Sofia with FlyDubai (www.flydubai.com) and Wizz Air (www.wizzair.com), from Dh1,164 and Dh822 return including taxes, respectively.
The trip
Plovdiv is 150km from Sofia, with an hourly bus service taking around 2 hours and costing $16 (Dh58). The Rhodopes can be reached from Sofia in between 2-4hours.
The trip was organised by Bulguides (www.bulguides.com), which organises guided trips throughout Bulgaria. Guiding, accommodation, food and transfers from Plovdiv to the mountains and back costs around 170 USD for a four-day, three-night trip.
The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre, 4-cylinder turbo
Transmission: CVT
Power: 170bhp
Torque: 220Nm
Price: Dh98,900
How to apply for a drone permit
- Individuals must register on UAE Drone app or website using their UAE Pass
- Add all their personal details, including name, nationality, passport number, Emiratis ID, email and phone number
- Upload the training certificate from a centre accredited by the GCAA
- Submit their request
What are the regulations?
- Fly it within visual line of sight
- Never over populated areas
- Ensure maximum flying height of 400 feet (122 metres) above ground level is not crossed
- Users must avoid flying over restricted areas listed on the UAE Drone app
- Only fly the drone during the day, and never at night
- Should have a live feed of the drone flight
- Drones must weigh 5 kg or less
HOW TO WATCH
Facebook:
Twitter:
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TikTok:
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4cyl turbo
Power: 261hp at 5,500rpm
Torque: 405Nm at 1,750-3,500rpm
Transmission: 9-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 6.9L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh117,059
What can victims do?
Always use only regulated platforms
Stop all transactions and communication on suspicion
Save all evidence (screenshots, chat logs, transaction IDs)
Report to local authorities
Warn others to prevent further harm
Courtesy: Crystal Intelligence
What is the FNC?
The Federal National Council is one of five federal authorities established by the UAE constitution. It held its first session on December 2, 1972, a year to the day after Federation.
It has 40 members, eight of whom are women. The members represent the UAE population through each of the emirates. Abu Dhabi and Dubai have eight members each, Sharjah and Ras al Khaimah six, and Ajman, Fujairah and Umm Al Quwain have four.
They bring Emirati issues to the council for debate and put those concerns to ministers summoned for questioning.
The FNC’s main functions include passing, amending or rejecting federal draft laws, discussing international treaties and agreements, and offering recommendations on general subjects raised during sessions.
Federal draft laws must first pass through the FNC for recommendations when members can amend the laws to suit the needs of citizens. The draft laws are then forwarded to the Cabinet for consideration and approval.
Since 2006, half of the members have been elected by UAE citizens to serve four-year terms and the other half are appointed by the Ruler’s Courts of the seven emirates.
In the 2015 elections, 78 of the 252 candidates were women. Women also represented 48 per cent of all voters and 67 per cent of the voters were under the age of 40.
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While you're here
Hussein Ibish: America's attitude to Palestine and Israel has subtly shifted
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The specs
Engine: Direct injection 4-cylinder 1.4-litre
Power: 150hp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: From Dh139,000
On sale: Now
ETFs explained
Exhchange traded funds are bought and sold like shares, but operate as index-tracking funds, passively following their chosen indices, such as the S&P 500, FTSE 100 and the FTSE All World, plus a vast range of smaller exchanges and commodities, such as gold, silver, copper sugar, coffee and oil.
ETFs have zero upfront fees and annual charges as low as 0.07 per cent a year, which means you get to keep more of your returns, as actively managed funds can charge as much as 1.5 per cent a year.
There are thousands to choose from, with the five biggest providers BlackRock’s iShares range, Vanguard, State Street Global Advisors SPDR ETFs, Deutsche Bank AWM X-trackers and Invesco PowerShares.
The President's Cake
Director: Hasan Hadi
Starring: Baneen Ahmad Nayyef, Waheed Thabet Khreibat, Sajad Mohamad Qasem
Rating: 4/5
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Why are asylum seekers being housed in hotels?
The number of asylum applications in the UK has reached a new record high, driven by those illegally entering the country in small boats crossing the English Channel.
A total of 111,084 people applied for asylum in the UK in the year to June 2025, the highest number for any 12-month period since current records began in 2001.
Asylum seekers and their families can be housed in temporary accommodation while their claim is assessed.
The Home Office provides the accommodation, meaning asylum seekers cannot choose where they live.
When there is not enough housing, the Home Office can move people to hotels or large sites like former military bases.
