Dear Ali: I recently had a misunderstanding with one of my local friends. We have not spoken to each other since the incident. I wish it never happened because I like and respect him. How can I fix our friendship? Will it be enough to say I’m sorry first? FD, Abu Dhabi
Dear FD: Misunderstandings happen. I don't know the issue that you and your friend had, but I can assume that it was serious enough to make you stay apart.
If you know exactly what made him upset, I think you should try to fix it. If you feel that the guilt is on your side, then yes, you better go and say sorry first. But please be honest with yourself and don’t say sorry, mean it. I am sure if you are honest, your friend will appreciate this and everything will return to normal.
However, if you do not see any serious reason for an apology, try to show your positive attitude and care. For example, if you can’t see him daily and greet him with a smile, you can always use any occasion that we celebrate in the country, such as National Day or The Flag Day or our Islamic calendar occasions, for a call or message to wish him well and then take the opportunity to express your side of the story.
The first time you might be ignored, but if you are persistent, your friend will notice that you care and hopefully accept your attempts to restore the relationship. Also, you should remember that in the western culture swearing during a quarrel is not a big deal, but in the Arab culture people still worry about their reputation and will avoid anything that humiliates them or their opponent during an argument, especially if it happens in a public place. If this rule was broken, then it would take much more time and effort to restore respect and fix the friendship.
I hope that you and your friend get along again as soon as possible. Once it is done, I would also advise you to share with each other your cultural and moral norms to avoid incidents of this kind in the future.
Dear Ali: I noticed during Ramadan that each evening prayer was announced with the help of a cannon here in the UAE. Is there any meaning to this? GH, Al Ain
Dear GH: Thank you for your question. This tradition comes from the time of the Ottoman Empire, when the ruler or warrior of Egypt started firing cannons to let the people know about the beginning of the month of Ramadan, and the end of fasting each day.
Back then the person announcing the prayer would climb to the top of a minaret and as there were no amplifiers or sound systems back then, a cannon shot was helpful as it was heard easily even from long distances. The cannon used to be set on a hill, which helped those living around that territory to hear its sound. Later this tradition reached the Gulf region. In the UAE, the first Ramadan cannon was fired in the 19th century in Sharjah; afterwards, it was discontinued and then reintroduced again in the other emirates too.
During this ceremony, firing of the cannon starts right at the time of Maghrib prayer. The police or armed forces arrange the iftar cannon to announce the time of breaking the fast. There are a number of cannons in Abu Dhabi, at the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque, Qasr Al Hosn (Al Hosn Fort) and in other locations.
These cannons used to shoot a real bullet out to sea. But today, what is used is a special gunpowder that only makes the sound effect.
Ali Al Saloom is a cultural adviser and public speaker from the UAE. Follow @AskAli on Twitter, and visit www.ask-ali.com to ask a question.
