Nickelback: Here and Now

Here and Now
Roadrunner Records
No stars

In the film Get Him to the Greek we learn that a staggeringly misjudged and racist video for the song African Child has destroyed the career of Russell Brand's pompous rocker Aldous Snow.

And it is described as "the worst thing to happen to Africa since Apartheid". Nickelback's intensely patronising promo for the lead single When We Stand Together is only slightly less detestable. It shows the band, fronted by the guitar-playing golden-retriever-like Chad Kroeger in a field, then cuts away to images of starving refugees and Indian villagers living in the shadows of billowing power stations.

The song itself - an acoustic-led attempt at rallying the dispossessed, complete with shanty town drums - is offensive only because of its consummate blandness. Twin single Bottoms Up is the album's supposed party number. The boneheaded drinking anthem sounds like Metallica, if Metallica had taken it upon themselves to perform DIY lobotomies on one another.

The rest of the album falls into one of two camps: songs about chasing women (Everything I Wanna Do, Gotta Get Me Some and Midnight Queen) and songs about being miserable once you finally get one (Holding on to Heaven, Lullaby and Trying Not to Love You). There's no attempt here to break away from the band's signature sound, its treacle-like production and heavily layered vocals. Whether attempting an Axl Rose sneer on the opening track This Means War, or Shania Twain pop with closer Don't Ever Let It End, the results are always ghastly and painfully overwrought.

COMPANY PROFILE

Name: Kumulus Water

Started: 2021

Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid

Based: Tunisia

Sector: Water technology

Number of staff: 22

Investment raised: $4 million

Europe’s rearming plan

Suspend strict budget rules to allow member countries to step up defence spending
Create new "instrument" providing €150 billion of loans to member countries for defence investment
Use the existing EU budget to direct more funds towards defence-related investment
Engage the bloc's European Investment Bank to drop limits on lending to defence firms
Create a savings and investments union to help companies access capital

Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)

Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi

Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi

Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai

Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi

Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia

Five ways to get fit like Craig David (we tried for seven but ran out of time)

Start the week as you mean to go on. So get your training on strong on a Monday.

Train hard, but don’t take it all so seriously that it gets to the point where you’re not having fun and enjoying your friends and your family and going out for nice meals and doing that stuff.

Think about what you’re training or eating a certain way for — don’t, for example, get a six-pack to impress somebody else or lose weight to conform to society’s norms. It’s all nonsense.

Get your priorities right.

And last but not least, you should always, always chill on Sundays.