Ask Ali: Can flowers be given as a gift to Emirati men?

Dear Ali: Is it OK here to give men flowers as a gift, and does the number of flowers matter? Is it OK for the total quantity to be an even number? FS, Dubai

Dear FS: Good question. Until the message of the giver is clear, there’s nothing wrong with giving men a gift of flowers. For example, if a man is recovering in hospital, flowers are one of the most popular gifts to give, along with chocolates.

For any event where a man deserves congratulations, they would usually be given a bouquet of flowers, along with a trophy.

We don’t associate flower-giving with gender. But if a single woman gives a man flowers, it would send some sort of message to the person receiving the gift that “I like you” or “I’m interested in you”.

The same goes when it comes to the total number of the flowers given. We don’t have any certain meaning or beliefs that go with even or odd quantities.

There are some cultures that follow the rule of giving only an even number of flowers to a person who’s alive, and an odd number for a funeral. Here, it’s OK to give an even quantity of flowers to anyone.

One last tip to remember: red flowers represent love, so I would avoid buying red flowers for a man, unless you want him to ask you out.

Dear Ali: My husband and I were lucky enough to try on traditional Emirati outfits recently. While my husband was wearing a long white robe covered with a black transparent coat, I was given a colourful dress and a huge gold necklace. It all looked beautiful, but we couldn’t understand the explanation the local woman gave us. I couldn’t work out if it was for a special occasion or just an old style of clothes. What about the black abaya? AR, Abu Dhabi

Dear AR: I’m glad you had a chance to try on our traditional clothes.

For men, apart from the traditional long robe – which is called a kandura, and is often made out of white fabric – a traditional men’s robe, or a bisht as we call it, is sometimes worn over the top. It can be blue or shades of brown or grey. It’s pretty expensive, because it’s usually handmade. The ones you see worn by some of our sheikhs are designed especially for them, with a certain pattern, design and shapes that define who it belongs to.

Generally, the bisht is worn by men on special occasions. At a wedding, for example, the groom would wear a bisht, while other men would be dressed in the classic white kanduras.

The bisht is often decorated with a gold stripe along its edges.

A good-quality bisht can cost up to Dh18,000, and some men who don’t really wear it a lot will sometimes rent one for their wedding night.

Talking about the women’s dresses, here you will see more varieties of colours and styles. The most popular dress is called a mukhawwar – it’s long-sleeved with an embroidered chest and sleeves, and features floral patterns. In regard to the huge piece of gold jewellery, I can only guess. If it was in the shape of a crescent, with multiple strips of gold beads, it was probably a mareya. This piece of jewellery could be worn by women during special occasions or as an everyday accessory.

And yes, the abaya in our culture is black, and put on only when a woman leaves the house. Women wear it over the mukhawwar as well.

Ali Al Saloom is a cultural adviser and public speaker from the UAE. Follow @AskAli on Twitter, and visit www.ask-ali.com to ask him a question.