My son has started to mimic my moves while I pray, move for move, and mumble whenever he hears me reciting the Quran under my voice and during Rukuh and Sajdah (bowing and prostration to God). Whenever we drive by a mosque, he shouts "Baba shoof, Allah Ukbar" which means "Dad look, God is Great", the words that signal the call to prayer.
As a father, I am proud that he approaches something as complex and deep as religion with such a free spirit, full of curiosity and excitement.
My role as a father is to maintain that spirit in my children.
I do that first by pointing out the good. I remember going to the mosque as a child and almost every interaction with adults, whether I knew them or not, was regarding something I had done wrong. Regardless of how small the mistake, such as how I placed my hands during Rukuh, the position of my feet during Sajdah, or how I shook hands after prayers, it all brought a sense of disappointment and failure to my experience.
Although pointing out mistakes is important, I can never recall a positive interaction with someone who would instil in me positive energy for making the effort to come to the mosque and pray or congratulate me on something I had done right.
At such a tender age when impressions can shape personalities, it is important to balance the feedback given to our youth, in a manner that encourages as well as corrects them. That is how we build their confidence and help solidify their faith.
I also emphasise love before fear. I want my children to feel a strong connection of love with Islam. As that involves communicating with them at the most basic level, it is simply a matter of terminology above everything else. I used to hear a lot of my elders say when we had done something wrong, "Khaf Rabik" which translates as "Fear God".
When a child has done something wrong, imagine the positive impact it would have if we were to replace the words "Fear God" with "If you love God, you shouldn't do that". As adults, we take words to heart but as children those words are magnified and leave a lasting impression on them. We should therefore choose those words very wisely.
I also try to foster a sense of understanding. Going back to the subject of my son mimicking me while I pray, it is important for me that he develops a strong sense of understanding as to why he is praying and to constantly question and reflect on the nature of thingsfrom a religious perspective.
For example, we cannot push our children to memorise the Quran without them understanding the meaning behind each and every word, why they are memorising it, and the positive impact that it can have on their lives.
The sense of understanding is what creates that deeper connection to their faith, every action must be defined by reason, and that is what creates a sense of meaning.
I am not a Muslim scholar, nor do I claim to be above average in terms of knowledge of religion. I am simply a father on a journey for a deeper understanding of my faith, with the hope that my children will join me for the ride.
My goal is to show them that notwithstanding the tensions in the world, Islam is ultimately a religion of peace, beauty and joy. And the best way to teach them is by simply bringing out those traits in every aspect of our lives, by being the best human I can be and the best Muslim I can be.
Khalid Al Ameri is a social affairs commentator studying for his MBA at Stanford University in California
On Twitter: @KhalidAlAmeri
